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Boat making

 
Since the beginning of summer was only a month away, the sun did not set until 10:00 pm. This gave the family more time to do the chores around their house, repairing a broken strut on the sled, getting more firewood from the forest on the slope of the mountain behind the house, and for the children, time to go sledding, using a piece of baleen to sit on. Baleen is a flat, hard, black substance found in the mouths of some whales where it is used to filter out the krill they live on.
 
After skinning and butchering the seals, Ayit’s mother, Nisana, checked the walrus hide that was curing in the house in preparation for splitting it for a boat covering.
 
Curing meant letting the hair rot off the skin while it was folded up in the living room tent. When it was ready, she would split it, as it was too heavy to use in its natural thickness.
 
Okfagit worked some on the boat frame he’d begun in the fall. It was slow work, cutting the ribs one at a time out of a log with a hand saw, but he had had plenty of time in the dark winter nights when the weather was too bad for hunting. Now he was nearly done with it.
He hoped the new boat would be ready before the breakup of the shore ice. To predict this event was impossible, as each year it came at a different time.
 
As the weather warmed, the ice “rotted,” that is it because weak and mushy. Then when strong Spring winds blew towards the shore, the waves would go under the shore ice and break it up. Once the ice began to disintegrate, the process took only a few minutes. The Eskimos had to be careful not to be caught out on the ice when the breakup came.
 
After the ice broke up, the walrus would come by on their migration and Okfagit would take his sons out to harvest as many as they could.
 
As darkness came, the family gathered in the tent where Nisana and the girls prepared supper of fresh seal liver. They went to bed early, for the night was short.
The next day Ayit and his brothers helped Nisana erect the frame for splitting the walrus hide. It was ten feet tall and twenty feet long. They dragged the hide out into the open and unfolded it. Nisana cut slits all around the edge, and then called Okfagit to come and help.
 
They tied some sealskin ropes in the slits on one side and hauled it up to the top of the frame. Then they put a rope through each slit and tied it tightly to the frame. It was 10 feet by 10 feet; once the skin was cut to half the thickness, it would be unfolded to cover the whole 20 feet of the frame.
One of Nisana’s sons brought a crude ladder which they leaned against the frame. She climbed up and with a wooden handled, semi-circular knife began the delicate work of slicing the skin to half the thickness. If she made a mistake and cut too deeply, making a hole, it could ruin the skin as a boat covering.
 
But Nisana was a skilled, strong woman and taking one careful cut at a time, within six hours she split the whole hide. Then the second part of the hide was folded over and tied to the empty part of the frame and left to dry for several days.

The meaning of life

The adventure of dealing with new things and the heavy workload, coupled with extra duties of cooking, washing and keeping all my household things going, kept me from thinking too much.
 
However, on one cold November night, after finishing all my lesson preparation, I sat at my little table. At that moment it was as if a door opened in my mind and I suddenly realized that my philosophy of life was not valid.
 
Yes, I was here to help people, but as I was forcing an entirely foreign system on the Eskimo children, I was actually teaching my students to hate me, to hate white men and to hate school. In reality perhaps it was not that bad, but in my own eyes I was, plainly put, a total failure.
 
My old inner darkness began to close in as tightly as the darkness the Arctic winter had brought to the sky. I fought against this inner darkness and sought to press on in my teaching, trying to do better, keeping my depression at bay with more work, but to no avail.
 
Every day was the same: teaching from 8:30 until 4 pm. Then came the scramble to put together sixteen lessons for the next day. Go home, cook supper, do more lesson prep, go to bed, get up early the next morning and do it all over again.
 
Each morning as I was rising out of sleep into consciousness, everything seemed gray, colorless, heavy. I had no hope, no desire to wake up, no energy to move ahead. It was like living under a blanket of lead. But I would get up and go on anyway. My training as a farmer carried me
At one point I realized that in this crisis of meaning in life, I had three possibilities. I could commit suicide, I could leave the island, or I could find another philosophy of life.
 
The suicide option was the most attractive: the inner pain and emptiness pushed me very strongly in that direction. It would be a good, quick final solution.
 
I found out later that there was a high suicide rate among the Eskimos with several factors contributing to it. They, like me, were caught between two cultures; there was a lot of hopelessness about the future; and there was a spiritual oppression on the Island.
 
The Eskimos were by tradition shamanists, meaning demon worshippers. Several told me later that most of the Eskimos at some point in their lives had an encounter with a demon who would offer them power in exchange for their worship.
 
One Eskimo said the only way he could handle the spiritual oppression was to drink a lot of water and always carried a jar of it with him. He also said that when he left the island the oppression would lift from him.
 
This spiritual darkness and oppression were, for sure, one factor in my being pushed towards suicide. And it would also play a part in later difficulties I had.
 
The Lord, however, was at work, answering the prayers of my little old lady friend back in Seattle and kept me from carrying through on this morbid desire to kill myself. Humanly speaking, what really held me back was the thought of what it would do to my parents, and that it would be my students who would find my body.
The second option, leaving the island, I also rejected. Somehow I knew that this was the most important juncture of my life and to flee from it would be a great mistake.
 
So I pursued the third option, looking for another philosophy of life. I first asked the principal teacher, Jim, what his philosophy of life was.
 
“Well,” he said, “Life is like building a stone wall. When you’re gone people will see the wall and say ‘Jim was here.’”
 
That didn’t seem to be any better than my philosophy. And Jim didn’t seem to be doing all that well in life either, so this idea didn’t carry much weight with me. I had to keep looking.

Gazing

Psalm 27:4 “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,”
 
[When David wrote this, he was thinking of the tabernacle in Jerusalem. Today this request has come true for every believer because we each are now a temple of God (1 Cor. 6:19) with the Holy Spirit living in us. That is part of the wonder of being your children, Lord: we are ever with you.]
 
We can continually “…gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”
 
[This takes intentionality, it takes focus, surrender and discipline—I must turn my eyes from the distractions of my desires, of the world’s offers and temptations to look instead on the glorious God of creation.
 
I praise you, Lord Jesus, that you have led me to begin learning to gaze upon your beauty in personal worship. There I can see your greatness, your power, your wisdom, your grace, your wrath against sin, your mighty love demonstrated in redeeming your rebellious creatures, and your great patience in working to bring us to maturity in you.
 
In teaching me to worship, you are helping me to give you the glory and honor which is due your name for your wonderful and rich character. Then when trouble comes, I can reject my natural tendency to first seek solutions on my own, or from those around me. Instead, I can, as my first move, seek you, the only One who can help in every difficulty.
 
More than that, you are the One who delights in helping us in exactly the way we need.
 
Forgive me for my independent attitude; help me to be fully dependent on you instead. Thank you, Lord, for all that you are, and for revealing some of it to us in your Word, your world and your way–breaking into our lives and dwelling with us, even though we deserve only rejection and punishment.
 
Help us to continually “gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple,” ever praising you, the Great and Glorious One who stoops down to see and help us in our weakness and need.]

Praying on the Armor

In a continuation of yesterday’s post, following is part of what I pray in putting on the belt of truth and breastplate of righteousness.
 
In this, I do not just say the words, I seek to enter into the truths emotionally, letting myself feel both sides (negative and positive) and choose to rest in the warm and rich goodness of His love for me. Try it yourself, praying this each day for a month and see what a difference it makes for you!
 
“Help me, Lord, to stand today having on the belt of truth. On one side is the truth that all I deserve as a sinner is failure, frustration, depression, despair, hopelessness, punishment, suffering and death.
 
“But you, in your gracious love, have redeemed me, cleansed me, called me into your waiting arms, made me your child, brought me into your family and into your Kingdom of light, of love and of life. You have given me forgiveness, joy and peace. You have given me purpose, protection and provision. You have given me meaning, hope and a future. In you I am chosen, holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12). I did not choose you, but you chose me because you wanted me! (John 15:16).
 
“You, Lord Jesus, love me as the Father loves you! (John 15:9): wholeheartedly, unconditionally, enthusiastically, joyfully, eternally! You are glad when I come into your presence in prayer, you laugh with pleasure when we are together and you rejoice in having me as your child. You saved me because you delight in me (Ps. 18:19).
 
“Help me to put on the breastplate of righteousness. In doing this, I agree to forgive myself as you have forgiven me, to accept myself and to love myself as you do. I choose to bask in your wholehearted approval and acceptance of me; I agree to rejoice in your unceasing love for me; I commit to reveling in your rich and eager embracing of me as your beloved child.
 
“While eagerly confessing any sin and receiving your forgiveness, I repent of being critical, negative and unaccepting of myself. I exchange these for your garment of approval, your covering of love and your continuous warm, happy, gracious embracing of me as your dear and valued child, chosen before the foundation of the world to be holy and without blame before you in love! (Eph. 1:4).
 
“What a wonder! I praise you for your great and gracious goodness, your marvelous and magnificent kindness and your unending, undying, eternal love for me. Help me to walk in the light of your warm and wonderful presence throughout today, obeying you in all and loving myself as you love me, so I can better love my neighbor.”

transformation

In the daily practice of praying on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), there has been a significant solidification of my emotional state, giving a growing stability that is very encouraging.
 
This is not a self-centered focus but is believing and accepting what God says about us; it is living in the light of His love rather than in self-condemnation, in vague shame and the natural negative self-thoughts that Satan wants me to dwell on. I have always been critical of and dissatisfied with myself, never believing I can measure up, but this is fading as I see more and more of God’s total forgiveness and love.
 
In this, the Lord is building in me an emotionally healthy independence from others—I no longer feel obligated to be influenced and controlled by others’ negative emotions. And He is also developing in me an emotionally healthy, deeper dependence on Himself. This growing grasp of His unshifting character, manifested in His love, acceptance and graciousness, is the rock upon which I can rest. In the light of this, I actually like myself now!
 
Being His child is such a healing reality. As it says in Ephesians 1, “God has chosen us in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love…To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.” John sums it up 1 John 3:1 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are!”
 
Something great to be really thankful for!
 

Psalm 27:2

Psalm 27:2 “When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me,”
[Note that this is not “if” but “when.” Such attacks will come because we are followers of Jesus, and Satan hates us. So, we should not be surprised when we are attacked by people, problems and political powers. And we should remember that we also know the outcome: ]
“they will stumble and fall.”
[In the end, they will fail: Nero, Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin, Mao and many others here who oppose you, Lord, and your Word, all fell while you, the Almighty Lord and God, triumphed and will triumph. There is no way that anyone can prevail against the Creator of the Universe.
I praise and thank you, Lord, that you will fight for us out of the great goodness of your heart, in the mighty power of your arm, in the expansive width of your wisdom and in the immeasurable depth of your discernment. Nothing is hidden from you, no plan is secret, no power can prevail against you.]
Psalm 27:3 “Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.”
[Because my trust is in you, the Almighty and the Most High, I can be confident of your help in the most trying of circumstances. I think of Elisha in 2 Kings 6, who awoke to find his city surrounded by a large army; but he also saw the chariots of God surrounding them! And God empowered Elisha to strike the army with blindness and render them harmless.
So, I need to ask, “What can men do to me when you are on my side? What can I lose that you cannot replace? What can I suffer that is not worthwhile because you will use it to bring maturity, deepening and a display of your power which I can share with all those around me?”
Thank you that you are the God of all wisdom who, even in the mistakes I make, can and will work out all for good. Help me to let go of my natural tendencies to worry and fret, to hold all you have granted me with an open hand, and to trust you to give and take as you see best.
Help me to let go of my emotional perceptions, to hold onto your great and true promises and rise above whatever challenges come. Help me to rest in you now, knowing that you are the good and great One whom I can totally trust. May you be honored in all I do today.]

Bonus day

Recipe for Healthy Loving Living Leading to Joy.
–author unknown
 
Start with a base of faith.
Add One heart full of love,
Two heaping cups of patience,
Two handfuls of generosity,
A dash of laughter,
And one head full of understanding.
Sprinkle generously with kindness
Add plenty of goodness and mix well
Spread over a period of a life time
And serve to everyone you meet.
 
Colossians 3 in a new format!

More Seal Hunting

More from the Add-on Eskimo as he hunts seals with his father.
 
They sat down on the ice to wait for a seal to pop up for air. One of the brothers got a fishing line out of his pouch. On the end of it was an old rifle shell with sharp wires shaped as hooks protruding from the opening; tied to it was a small red rag.
 
He went around the end of the ice pile where he could fish without disturbing the hunting. Lowering the line into the water, he jiggled it around a bit, then suddenly jerked it upward. It came out of the water with two small, sardine-like fish stuck on the points. They had been attracted by the dancing red cloth and circled around it to where the boy could catch them on the points. In an hour he’d caught about fifty of these little fish and put them into his pouch.
 
The Eskimos knew how to be patient. Waiting is important in the arctic, as rushing things can easily result in death in the harsh climate and dangerous conditions. Even the dogs were patient as they lay in their harness awaiting the trip home.
 
Okfagit was willing to wait all day, if necessary, for a seal to surface, but it was only two hours before the water rippled and a nose poked out followed by the sleek head of a ring seal. It drew a deep breath while Okfagit drew a bead on it and fired. The seal jerked and lay still.
 
Ayit came running with a float, which his father expertly threw out beyond the seal. Then he carefully pulled it back in on the leather line, hooking the float onto the dead seal so he could bring it to the edge of the ice. Then he took his staff and reached out the end with the hook to snag the seal and pull it up out of the water.
 
He offered the dead seal some fresh water, as a part of their shamanistic beliefs, an effort to appease the spirit of the animal just killed. This, they believed, would prevent the spirit from becoming angry and bringing disaster upon them. His sons then loaded the seal onto the sled.
 
The boy with the fish opened his pouch and offered some to his brothers and father. The fish were now frozen solid, but the Eskimos ate them with relish. The other way they liked them was when the fish were “mature”, having sat in a box near the fire for a couple of weeks. That gave them a particular flavor which the Eskimos loved.
 
Okfagit settled down to watch again and, and in the next three hours he got two more seals. Loading the last one onto the sled, they pulled the sled anchor out of the snow and headed home.
There Ayit’s mother and his two sisters would skin the seals and cut up the meat, which would then be put on a platform outside the house, a kind of natural refrigerator. After scraping the skins and washing the extra fat off, they hung them to dry on the side of the house.
 
In order to make decorations on their clothes, some skins were put out in the cold to bleach, either on frames or on poles.
They then took the intestines of the seals, washed them out and hung them on a line to dry. These would become raincoats. The intestines would be slit, laid flat and then sewed together to make a sheet, which was then made into a coat. It was tedious and delicate work, but Nisana and the other Eskimo wives were skilled at it from long practice.
The intestines naturally let liquid pass out through their walls but not in, so, as a raincoat they would let sweat and moisture out but prevent any water from passing in, keeping the Eskimo dry. Such a raincoat was light, easy to carry and when in need, it could be eaten!

Settling in in Savoonga

Since I didn’t have much to unpack, it didn’t take long.to settle in. I looked again at the “honey bucket,” and noted the can of pine oil to pour in it; I supposed that would keep the odor in check. Since I had often used the outhouse on the farm, this was not going to be a hard adjustment. At least there were no flies here.
 
I went outside and walked around my little house. The Tundra was muddy, explaining why all the houses were interconnected with boardwalks.
 
I noted that the drainpipe from my sink ended one foot outside the wall; the water would just run out on the ground. Basic, simple, easy to maintain. No OSHA regulations here to interfere with life. Later I found that I had to periodically go out and break off the huge icicles that would form on the pipe in the winter so the water could drain out.
 
I walked over to the edge of the steep bank that went down to the sea. The wind blew cold and strong in from the Arctic Ocean. There was a narrow beach of black volcanic sand with a number of aluminum boats lying on it. The waves rolled in one after the other and were split by the point of land sticking out into the sea.
To my right were wooden racks holding several walrus skin boats. Beyond them were sled dogs chained to their little houses. They greeted me with challenging barks, causing the sea gulls to rise up and wheel overhead.
 
“Well,” I thought to myself, “There are going to be a lot of challenges in these coming days.” Very prophetic words.
After supper Jim took me to my classroom, which was in a Quonset hut left over from WW II. This was actually the National Guard Armory and played an important role in US security. Since this Island was one of the closest to Siberia, the Eskimo National Guard played a significant role in monitoring radio traffic and activity in this area of the USSR.
 
Jim gave me one day to prepare lessons and then we plunged in. I had 6th, 7th and 8th grades in one classroom, thirty-two students in all. As time went on I found that the spectrum of abilities actually ranged from first grade through eleventh! Plus my students all spoke English as their second language, with the range of English language skills going from zero to perfect.
 
I had no experience, no training and no idea how to proceed. Having three grades at the same time meant I had to give some kind of class work to two while I taught the third. Then give that third class some work while I taught another. It was literally a three-ring circus.
 
I had responsibility for all subjects and had to prepare as many as sixteen lessons each day. I struggled to keep up. The old feeling that I never had done enough nagged me more and more.
 
Discipline was another challenge. These kids were Eskimos who would much rather be out hunting seals and seagulls, not sitting in a classroom. With English being their second language and sitting still not being what they were used to, it was a challenge to keep their attention. Add to that my insecurity and desire to be accepted, and you had a prescription for discipline disaster.
 
Another factor was that I had entered an ancient culture with a totally different approach to life. The Eskimos were only a few years out of their traditional life style. They had ski-dos for travel in the snow, but often piled their dogs onto a sled to pull behind their snow traveler in case it broke down, which happened at times.
 
In their homes they weren’t sure what to do with the ready-made clothes they could now buy. The houses were tiny, and often were crowded with eight or more people living together. There were no closets and the clothes were just piled up in a corner.
 
Along with this, I had none of the normal relaxation outlets from my old life. I soon realized that what most people back home did to relieve stress was go somewhere, visit someone or buy something. Here it was difficult to do any of these things.
I could go to a “coffee shop” in the evening, a tiny room in the front of a home where there was a coffee bar, a couple of pool tables and lots of Eskimos hanging out in the blue haze of cigarette smoke.
 
They were very kind to me, and included me as much as possible, but the ability to speak English for many was not fully developed so they conversed mostly in Yupik Eskimo. I was an outsider and really felt it. Loneliness was another pressure in my life. What was the Lord going to do with this?
Picture: my school building in the village

More from Psalm 27

“of whom shall I be afraid?”
[Since you are the Almighty, the Most High, the Great King above all, who can contravene what you deem right? Who can overrule the desires of your great overarching plans? Who can condemn when you forgive? Who can harm us spiritually when you are there?
There is no one else I should fear but you, O Lord God, King of Glory. Help me to move every day away from fearing those around me to fearing you, away from fearing what others think of me to caring deeply what you think about me, about what I do and think, wear and say.
You are worthy of respect, honor and fear, for you are Awesome, Almighty and Eternal, while all others are not. Therefore, I choose to believe you, to fear you, to live in the light of your grace. Help me this day to consistently take refuge in you, thereby honoring You, your Name and your Word before all those around me.]