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God Answers and Provides

[Written in early 2011 while living in Germany to care for Omi, Barbara’s mother.]
 
Praise you, Lord, for the knowledge that you are the manager of my life. In your goodness, wisdom, grace and love you are constantly at work, arranging events, filtering out evil, giving guidance, protecting and directing.
 
Thank you for the surety that, as I pray about each day, you hear, you answer, you reach down from on high and take hold of me, you draw me out of deep waters, you rescue me from my powerful enemy, from my foe who is too strong for me. You bring me forth into a spacious place. You rescue me because you delight in me (Psalm 18:16-19).
 
What wonderful, rich, peace-giving, joy-providing, rest-producing Truth. Whatever comes I can praise you for and wait for your wise and good timing in bringing me through it.
 
In relation to Barbara’s mother, Omi, and the potential end of our time here, whether we leave in August or December or April, it’s fine: your timing is perfect. I can trust that you will work things out all the things that need to happen: Omi’s accepting the change; a place opening up at the right time in the nursing home; the selling of her house; the outworking of disposing of all her goods; the shutting down of all utilities; the closing up of our apartment; the actual leaving.
 
Praise you, Lord, that you have all these things in hand, that you will guide us through the maze and will cause each thing to happen at the right time. Praise be to you ahead of time because you are always good, gracious and righteous.
 
Epilogue: the Lord answered and brought every one of these events to pass, later than we expected (almost a year later, by March of 2012), but at the right time and in the right way, including providing Omi a place in a brand new, beautiful nursing home, with her being willing to go and then in the very last week of our time in Germany, the selling of Omi’s house for the price she wanted, above market value.
 
Truly, Lord, you are the God of hope, who wants to fill us with all joy and peace, if we will only trust in you. Then you will cause our lives to overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit, blessing all those around us (Rom. 15:13). Help us, Lord Jesus, to trust in you continually, fully, richly and willfully so we can be carriers of hope to all those around us.
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Psalm 20:8-9

 
Psalm 20:8 “Some trust in chariots and some in horses…They are brought to their knees and fall,”
 
[Horses die, chariots shatter, people pass, strength subsides, and every person in the world comes to the end of his or her rope where there is no further hope.]
 
“but we rise up and stand firm.”
 
[But in you, Lord Jesus, strength endures forever: your love is everlasting and your grace goes on through all eternity. When we come to the end of our rope, we can switch to your infinite and eternal rope, surrendering to you, trusting in you, crying out to you.
 
In you and in your power we will be able to advance against a troop, to scale a wall , to fight the battle, for we are shielded by your goodness (Ps. 18:29). We will always be able to stand firm in you, if we have on the full armor of God.]
 
Psalm 20:9 “O LORD, save the king!”
 
[Praise you that you saved king David in every battle and in every difficulty–and through his line brought us our Savior!]
 
“Answer us when we call!”
 
[Every day we pray, and every day you answer in your faithfulness. You are my Rock in whom I can take refuge (Ps. 18:2); you are my high tower in whom I can hide; you are my hope in whom I can rest (Ps. 62:5). For this I give you praise and honor and glory, Lord. I give you exaltation, worship and thanksgiving. In your faithfulness you are worthy of all surrender, all obedience, all submission.
 
So I bow before you, the Mighty Creator, the Powerful Sustainer, my Strong Defender. I rise up in this day so that, by your power, I can obey you in praise, in patience, in trust, in thought, word and deed. Glorify yourself in my life today, O Lord God. Amen.]
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Psalm 20:7

 
Psalm 20:7 “Some trust in chariots and some in horses,”
 
Yes, Lord, sometimes we trust in other powers: money, might or men of position. Sometimes we trust in training, technology and theological systems. And sometimes we trust in planning, persuasion and people.
 
But all these fall far short of what we actually need; all are pitifully weak in comparison to our enemies: the world, our flesh and the devil. “I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise….He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me” (Ps. 18:3,17).
 
All our enemies are less than nothing in comparison to you, Lord Jesus, the Star-breather, the Earth-spinner, the Dawn-bringer, the History-ender. You defeated them all in your death and resurrection. Therefore we must reject confidence in anything else but you.]
 
“but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.”
 
[You are the only One who is trustable to the end: you are the eternal God of all might, the lasting Lord of all power, the undying Creator of every creature, the ongoing Ruler of all dominions and kingdoms, the endless Lord of all principalities and powers. No one and nothing can stand against you.
 
You have a plan for each of us and you will bring it to pass, as we follow you: “The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations” (Ps. 33:10,11).
 
You, Lord God, can do no evil, no wrong, no sin; you only do what is good and righteous and wise–therefore in you we can trust. In your Name we can exalt by believing and obeying your word, for “the LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Ps. 18:2). Praise be to you!]
 
Help us to walk today in the greatness of who you are, Lord Jesus, rejecting our tendency to primarily trust in other helps, which are feeble and futile.
 
Help us to instead trust in you, coming to you immediately in prayer and dependence, believing you to use whatever you chose to protect, provide and guide us through this day. Praise be to you now for how you will work, our great eternal King and everlasting powerful Savior.
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Great Gifts

 
Praise be to you, Lord, for your rich and beautiful gifts: new life and eternal life, joy and peace, hope and purpose, your love and embrace. To know you is far beyond good, for it is the deepest desire of every human heart to be enfolded in a rich relationship with the Creator of the universe–but sadly, most rebelliously resist your regal offer and are instead locked into the crushing, destructive embrace of the negative values of this fallen world.
 
It is such a magnificent and beautiful privilege to rest in your embrace of love, in the warmth of your acceptance, in the grace you exude at each moment. And it is a great freedom to rejoice in the lack of condemnation, the lack of accusation and the lack of conditional acceptance. These realities are so wonderfully edifying, strengthening, encouraging and empowering–giving us a rich, warm foretaste of Heaven.
 
I can go out with you into today, Lord Jesus, knowing that I am with you and you are within me, that you will never leave me. I can trust you fully to guide me through the obstacle course of the day as we wend our way forward in this fallen world, leaving behind a trail that others can follow.
 
I praise you that you know every bend, every turn, every pitfall in the path, as well as every ambush the enemy has set up. And you prepare me for them as I spend time with you each morning.
 
Then, as I keep on the whole armor of God, think your Word, and listen to your Spirit, in your power I can respond to each ambush, stand against each attack and be more than a conqueror no matter what Satan may throw at me. “I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies” (Ps 18:3).
 
I may trip, fall or get knocked down, but remaining in your truth by confession and repentance, I can spring to my feet again and continue on the upward path of righteousness you are leading me on for your name’s sake.
 
“I love you, O Lord, my strength.” You, LORD, “are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer… my shield and…my stronghold” (Ps. 18:2), and as I remain behind the shield of your love, in the stronghold of your holiness, and on the rock of your mercy, I am safe.
 
Praise be to you, the God of goodness, the Lord of love, the King of kindness, the Giver of grace, the Healer of hearts and the Protector of your people. Today I choose to live in the truth that “Knowing Jesus is Enough for Joy,” following your example, Lord Jesus, who, for the joy that was set before you, endured the cross, despising the shame and are set down at the right hand of God (Heb. 12:2).
 
Help me to keep my eyes on you and on the joy of knowing you, of knowing where I am going in life and death, for then the difficulties and pain of this life will fade in significance and power, so I can run with patience the race you have set before me.
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More History from 1980

Our main task, once we had settled into our new country, was to learn the language. There was no established program at the time, so John found us a teacher, and we, along with John’s wife and two OM girls, started having Turkish classes each day.
 
After our first week of intensive work Barbara said to me, “If we keep up this pace, we are going to learn Turkish really well in our first year!”
 
I smiled at that good estimate, “Yup, that’s what I’m aiming for.”
 
“But…” she continued, “we’re also going to be divorced!”
I gulped. “Ok, let’s see if I hear you correctly. You are saying that this pace is too fast. Is that what you are trying to communicate? If so, I guess we can slow it down.”
 
My enthusiasm, my desire to be successful, to make myself feel good by achieving a lot, again drove me to take on too much. My old lust for speed was still there. I praised God for an insightful and “weaker” wife who brought perspective and helped us move at a better pace.
 
No matter what we did, though, it was slow going, for this language has no relation to English or German. Rather, it is in the same language family as Korean, Japanese, Finnish and Hungarian.
 
Here is where my Latin lessons came in handy. No one had to explain to me about the use of cases, I already knew them: nominative, genitive, dative, accusative and ablative. this was a huge help to me conceptually. In addition, although there was no actual relationship between Latin and Turkish, the progressive addition of endings to words was similar to the declensions in Latin.
 
The Lord had known I would have to learn Turkish someday and had used my high school Latin classes to prepare the way. I wished I could have gotten in touch with my old Latin teacher, Mr. Daniels, and thanked him.
 
In our new country, shame is used as a great motivator and it seems to work to a degree in their honor-based society —although I suspect it leaves untold emotional damage in students’ lives.
 
Our Turkish teachers tried to use this approach with me and would periodically say to our class, “You ladies are doing quite well,” and then, turning to me, add, “but you–you are terrible, an awful student.”
 
I did not find this particularly helpful, to say the least. Along with all the other pressures of adjustment, these denigrating statements from our teachers was almost too much for me to take.
 
Much of my “terribleness” in my Turkish had to do with pronunciation. Barbara had a great advantage, as the phonetic sounds of German were much closer to Turkish than English, and also shared the umlauted letters Ü and Ö. For an English speaker, however, forming these and other sounds in Turkish was a new and difficult task
.
My self-consciousness also hampered me from being more aggressive in trying to make the right sounds. Sometimes when I was out with a local friend, I would say something to a shopkeeper who would then look at my friend and ask, “What did he say?” My friend would repeat exactly what I had said, and the storeowner would understand him perfectly. It was frustrating.
 
I’d actually gotten my first lesson on the importance of pronunciation on that day of our arrival in Istan.bul when our host and I had gone to the bakkal. He had asked the grocer for a “mum,” a candle, which he pronounced in the American way, like the name of the flower.
 
The grocer had no idea what he meant, because in Turkish the word is pronounced with an “ooo” sound: “mooom.”
Such a small difference, but such a gulf of misunderstanding it produced! We finally had to act out lighting a candle, and then the grocer understood and produced one from under the counter.
 
The Lord came to my rescue in my weak pronunciation by giving me Tom (in the picture with me and Josh) as my new language helper. He was an architectural student and had a marvelous ability to discern what I was doing wrong. He would say the word the way I mispronounced it. This enabled him to then draw a picture of the inside of my mouth to illustrate how it looked when I said it incorrectly, and then drew another to show me the right way to place my tongue to form and say the word.
 
Part of my problem was that almost all the sounds of this language are pronounced in the front of the mouth, while a lot of English sounds are produced in the middle. For instance, they trill an “r” sound, while we arch our tongues in the middle to produce it. In contrast, the Germans make an “r” sound in their throats.
 
Tom would have me practice just a couple of pronunciation adjustments in each class. I would then repeat these over and over again on the drive home until they became almost natural. And my language ability increased dramatically. The Lord provides in every area!
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Psalm 20:6

Psalm 20:6 “Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;”
 
[This is a rock-solid certainty: you, Heavenly Father, saved king David in many difficult circumstances. And you saved Jesus, the anointed One–but not in the way any human would have expected. You did not save Him from suffering and death; you saved him through agony and dying by the resurrection. And you saved us through the same act of grace.
 
I praise you that every day, in the battle of life, you continue saving us, your chosen ones, your anointed ones, your beloved children. You are a shield to all those who take refuge in you (Prov. 30:5).]
 
“he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.”
 
[You answered David in his distress, you answered Jesus in his death, you answer us in our difficulties–every day. And your answers aren’t some minor move, but are in the mighty majesty of your right hand, your most powerful means of action. Your munificent ministerings show the depth of your commitment and attention to your chosen and appointed ones.
 
Praise you, Lord God, that you are the Deliverer, the Rescuer, the Answerer, the Shield, the Lover of your children. You are the Nobel and Trustable One to be worshiped and obeyed in trust and truth!
 
Help us to trust in you today, Lord God, resting in the certainty of your presence, your power and your provision, even when at the moment, we can see no help on the horizon. Praise you for your faithfulness we will experience today, so we can “know this love that surpasses knowledge” and our lives can be “filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Eph. 3:10).]
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Purpose

Praise be to you, Lord Jesus, my Shepherd and King, as I woke to find myself with you. My dreams were unpleasant, having one obstacle after another–kind of like real life, but without your presence–so it was good to come back to reality with you!
 
Thank you for the wonder of knowing you, Lord Jesus, of having your grace, goodness and greatness in my life, of being continually offered rest and hope, a partnership of purpose and power in prayer, of being able to join you in what you are doing.
 
Thank you that this day before me will be filled with multiple possibilities of honoring you with faith, responding to disappointments, interruptions, problems and challenges with thanksgiving and the chance to thereby defeat frustration, impatience, selfishness, fear and worry.
 
To respond with faith is to do something that has eternal value, fulfilling the purpose you have given me in life of honoring you rather than focusing on myself and what is visible.
 
Thank you that you have made faith the primary means of joining you, for anyone can do that: young and old, illiterate and highly educated, rich and poor, powerful and weak, new believer or old.
 
This is an exciting truth, for it shows how everyone in the spectrum of maturity, from the newest believer to the most mature saint, can all give you glory at each moment in time, simply by responding in faith–getting up the shield of faith by offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name” (Heb. 13:15).
 
I praise you for what you have before me today, Lord; help me to partner with you, knowing that all will flow from your hand of goodness, from your heart of wisdom, from your boundless grace, from your desire for me to join you in your great plans.
 
Help me to see each next negative as a positive possibility to offer you honor through thanksgiving, to grow spiritually and to be a shining light to those around me. What a privilege! Thank you for it and for what you will do in and through me today.
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Psalm 20:4-5

Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart”
[This echoes the statement of Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” As we find our delight in you, Lord, it is safe for you to answer our prayers, for you know that the answer will not become an idol.
Lord, truly you are my delight, my joy, my goodness, my God; help me to consistently focus my love on you, to reject the temptation to let events and people siphon off that love to lesser things.]
 
“and make all your plans succeed.”
[Lord, may only those plans that flow from you succeed. May you be glorified, honored and exalted by the success of any plans we seek to implement. May you come first, may you be praised, may you be lifted up in any success that comes.]
Psalm 20:5 “We will shout for joy when you are victorious”
[We will glorify you, Lord God, for any and all victories–for people being set free, coming to know you, overcoming temptation, maturing in you, sharing with unbelieving friends. You are the great Doer of the wonderful, the powerful Bringer of good, the mighty Victor in all.]
“and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.”
[It is your name that should be lifted up, magnified and glorified. Whatever results come from our efforts to obey you should result in honor for you, not for us. May the world see your power and purpose, your grace and goodness in whatever success comes into our lives through your hand.]
“May the LORD grant all your requests.”
[May you fulfill whatever requests line up with your will, Lord. May none of my requests that you know aren’t right be granted. I don’t want to be asking for a king, as the Israelites did, or for a longer life, as King Hezekiah did, when that is not your will.
 
Protect me from myself and my own ideas. I surrender my all to you and ask that you lead, that I might follow and do what is your desire. Today may my thoughts, motives, words and actions please you, give you honor and exalt your name before all those around me.
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From my worship journal, written in 2010

 
You, Lord, are the God of provision, flooding our lives with your gracious goodness, your constant kindness, your wide wisdom, your illuminating insight, and great grace.
 
Truly, our cup overflows; you have brought us into a spacious place; you have rescued us because you delight in us.
 
What rich goodness you have poured out on us:
–The great and glorious privilege of being your children, sons and daughters of the Most High King.
–The grace of knowing and living ever more intimately with you, the Gracious and Glorious God.
–The worldview-shifting truth that whatever comes into our lives is part of your plan to work good, to give opportunity for us to fulfill the purpose of our lives (giving you glory) and to give us significant parts in moving history to its conclusion.
–The powerful possibility to rewrite every hurt from your point of view and to forgive the offender as you have forgiven us, thereby freeing ourselves from the cruel bonds of resentment.
–The wonder of your love lavished on us in undeserved richness, in marvelous breadth and height, length and depth.
–The joy of belonging, of having worth, of being competent in you.
–The security of knowing where we are going.
–The anticipated joy of spending eternity with you.
 
With these shining, beautiful and powerful truths, I can enter this day at your side, joining you in the adventure you have for me, the work you have for me to enter into in partnership with you.
 
There may be disappointments, hurts, troubles and difficulties, but each one is a fine tool you will use to shape me more into the image of Christ. And each one will be an opportunity to be weak in myself but strong in you, to praise, to rise on wings of eagles, to see things from on high and to give you glory.
 
What a life you’ve bequeathed, what joy you share, what a God you are! May you be glorified in my life today by the working of your Spirit and Word to bring me to quick, eager, loving obedience in each situation.
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Home Again

 
As we got ready to leave for our trip to Virginia to see Nat and Abby for Christmas, Barbara was dragging her feet and after numerous attempts to get her out to the van, I got impatient (actually pretty rare in our relationship), and escorted her out.
In spite her delays, we did get off in good time, but when we arrived at our first stop in NJ, I discovered that I’d left my computer bag at home. It had not only my computer, but all my medications, phone charger and other things I used on a daily basis—it was the most important piece of luggage!
Well, this was a chance to forgive myself and offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving, to honor God and open the way for Him to show me His salvation in this difficulty. And He immediately began to do that. The friend we were visiting suggested we contact the local Walmart pharmacy to see if they could contact our Walmart in CT and give me some “fill in” prescriptions—and that worked out, except for my coumadin, which didn’t have any refills.
The other somewhat distressing aspect was that I could no longer post my daily devotions, as everything was on my computer. Nor could I check my email. This was another opportunity to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving. And God turned this, too, into a blessing, as I was forced to take a “digital vacation,” allowing me to really relax and not have to scramble each day to post while visiting people.
I think it is interesting that my sin (impatience, pushiness, selfishness) was the reason I forgot my bag, but the Lord turned this into good and gave us a better time than I’d planned. It also was a warning to not let my selfishness rise up and direct my decisions. The Lord is good and wise and very creative in His ability to use our sin to bless us!
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