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1984

 
In 1984 we got a letter from Ellen, a woman who had been searching for spiritual input. Her sister had gotten an offer for the Bible correspondence course and gave it to Ellen. Through that she found our address and wanted to meet with us.
 
We called the telephone number she sent us in a letter and her sixteen year old daughter, Seylim, answered, and tried to speak to Barbara in high school German. She was very relieved to find that we spoke the local language.
 
This contact proved to be the most significant one in the church plant. After she came to the Lord, Ellen proved to be a real evangelist and eventually was instrumental in seeing twenty-three of her relatives come to Christ! And the fact she came every week to the meetings with her five children became the standard for others’ attendance.
 
About the same time, the Smith’s oldest daughter, Alyn, introduced us to a man she was interested in. Ivan was a short, aggressive fellow, seemingly a hard worker who showed an interest in the gospel.
 
Although he had only a third grade education, Ivan was bright and was soon explaining the meaning of the gospel to the rest of the Smith family more effectively than we could. Ivan himself made a commitment to Christ and began attending the Sunday meetings at the Smiths. Soon he and Alyn married. Although we did not know it, this fellow would lead us into all kinds of trouble.
 
Another fellow, Harry, came to Christ through the correspondence course, and Dan began to disciple him, pouring lots of time and effort into his life. Harry showed signs of being a potential leader for the fellowship.
Then some months later, a worker from Germany came to Tur.key looking for nationals to work in his literature ministry, and sought out Harry. Dan talked with this man and warned him that Harry was just a young believer and needed time to mature before he could be put in charge of a foreign-funded venture. But the man did not listen.
 
We found out later that this was his way in many countries. He operated independently of any workers on the ground, taking one or two believers to himself and working exclusively with them. It led to the distribution of the man’s literature, but to the unhealthy separation and isolation of believers.
 
At this point our little fellowship was meeting in homes, often in a different place every week. Although home meetings were not illegal, many people believed they were, and felt uncomfortable. As the Tu.rkish culture was building oriented, it seemed strange to seekers that we had no official meeting place.
 
The Lord provided a solution to this through a friend who knew the priest in the Vatican Embassy. He allowed us to meet on their property, making it much easier to invite seekers.
 
One day after the meeting during the teatime, Barbara noted that each Tu.rk was talking to a foreigner. The believers were not mixing with each other. This was not a new problem as many of those who made commitments to Christ did so for very mixed motives, ranging from actually believing to hoping it would lead to getting a job, to finding a foreign wife, having a foreign friend or being invited for a meal where he’d get to eat meat.
 
So each one looked at the other attenders and wondered what their selfish agendas were! There was no trust, as is generally true in this society. Therefore, we decided to have less foreigners attend, forcing the locals to interact with each other.
 
One Sunday afternoon when we arrived at the gate of the Embassy, the head priest was there and took me aside. “This is the last Sunday you will be allowed to meet here,” he said,
 
“Why is that?” I asked.
 
“The police have come and told us we cannot accept you.”
“What would be the reason for that?” I exclaimed, “This is not the property of this country, this belongs to the Vatican. This decision is contrary to the law!”
 
“Ah, my son,” said the priest, “In this country the law and the police are two very different things!” He was right, of course, and that was the end of our meetings at the Embassy.
 
In one way I was thankful, for we had noticed that after our meetings, the two priests living at the Embassy would come down and mix with us. In the end we realized that they were trying to draw the believers into Catholicism. Separation from that was good.
 
The Lord had other things in mind for us; an Austrian believer was able to get permission for us to meet in the German school. That was even better, because it was more centrally located and was guarded, making the believers feel even more secure, and set the stage for growth to come.
Picture: Barbara with Ellen
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Psalm 27:11

Psalm 27:11 “Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path”
 
[Praise you, Lord Jesus, my Great Shepherd, that you consistently teach me your way through your Word and your Spirit. And that you continually lead me on your straight path, even though I sometimes stray off it. Forgive me for my failure to obey and to follow; help me to pay attention and implement what you teach, keeping up the “umbrella of Truth” for protection (as in the picture). I praise you for your consistent care, your continual help and constant protection.
 
Teach me your way today, Lord, and keep me on the straight path that I may bring joy to you, light to others and hope to all I meet.]
 
“…lead me because of my oppressors.”
 
[The main oppressor, Satan is always there, using people and events to trip me up. He wants to keep me in fear, make life difficult, and lead me into disobedience.
 
When Satan accuses me, tries to beat me down and seeks to make me stumble, help me to stay on your straight path, Lord, laying aside every weight and sin that Satan wants to entangle me with, so that I may run with perseverance the race you have set out before me (Heb. 12:1,2).]
 
Psalm 27:12 “Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,”
 
[I praise you for how you protect us from our foes who are too strong for us. At the same time, I thank you that, in your wisdom, you do not protect us from many of the consequences of our wrong choices. You do this in order to teach us, to chasten us, to redirect us, to bring surrender and growth.
 
Thank you that you protect us from what will be truly injurious, helping us to discern and reject the voice of our enemy–and our own inner natural voice–while listening to and heeding your Word and your Spirit. Thank you for your warning to me to slow down in life, to consistently spend more time with you, to be careful in not doing too much but to select, with your guidance, what I should be involved in.
 
Thank you that, on the other side, you help me to discern and reject the enemy’s encouragement to be lazy and self-indulgent, to waste time in insignificant activities.
 
I praise you, Lord Jesus, that you are my Wisdom, my Shield, my Shepherd and my Strength. Help me to distrust my natural responses, which my foes want to use, and to fully trust you and your Word, so I can stay on your straight path, running well and wisely the race you have set out before me. Use me today for your purposes and bring honor to your Name.]
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Who am I following?

“For we fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places. Put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand in the evil day and having done all to stand.”
Ephesians 6:11
 
While talking recently with a person struggling with feelings of inadequacy, any advice I gave proved to be totally ineffective. Then a thought came to mind that turned out to be the key to opening the door to this person’s emotional prison.
 
“This feeling of inadequacy is exactly what Satan wants you to focus on. Of course we are inadequate; we are human beings and have limitations. In contrast, God wants us to focus on Him, to find our adequacy in Him, our acceptance in Him, our worth and joy in Him.
 
“Satan, however, wants us to focus on what we can’t do; he wants us to work for our worth and to seek for the elusive happiness of accomplishment. So, whose lead are you going to follow? Are you going to fall into devil’s trap, or sidestep it with God’s truth?”
 
Asking “What would Jesus do in this situation?” helps us think biblically. Adding the question, “What would Satan want me to do?” will bring even more biblical clarity. Paul refers to this in Ephesians 6 when he says, “Put on the whole armor of God so you will not fall in to the wiles of the devil.”
 
The devil is clever and does not want us thinking about his desires; he wants us to unknowingly mix our personal and cultural bias in with a bit of Scripture and do things that make us feel good–and please him. It is easy to fool ourselves into thinking that our preferences as Christians are the same as God’s. For instance, in our culture we have come to confuse busyness with being spiritual, having results with being blessed and talent and training with being spiritually mature.
 
When faced with an opportunity for more ministry, we need to think about what Jesus would do, and what Satan would have us do. Satan is happy when we are striving to push ahead in our own effort, keeping very busy “for the Lord”, wearing ourselves out for others. He is not happy when we spend time first in prayer and in the Word, seeking God’s direction, weighing our motives before Him, waiting for His timing–and then working hard with Him as He directs.
As a concrete example of this concept, here in the Middle East we have often had opportunities to help believers financially. “Of course Jesus would have us give to them!” we thought.
 
Yet as we look back now, it is clear how in the early years of ministry, channeling funds to seemingly desperate needs produced far more bitter and dependent believers than anything else. Our help was toxic, not a tonic.
 
We have to admit that our estimation of what Jesus wanted was not fully correct. Yes, it made us feel good to help and we got the believers out of binds, but also often prevented them from learning the lessons God had for them.
 
Later, when God had gotten our attention and made clear that we should step back from such rescuing attempts and let Him teach important lessons of character, believers matured and grew in new ways. There are times to help, but wisely, in cooperation with God, not with Satan’s feel-good solutions.
 
Prayer: “Lord, as we seek your will in situations, remind us to search Scripture, asking the question, “What would Jesus do?” and also add the question, ‘What would Satan want me to do?’ Guide us in cooperating with you in your intentions not with the devil. Amen.”
 
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Psalm 27:9

 
Psalm 27:9 “Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger;”
 
[I fail every day, Lord, in not leading myself well, in worrying, being selfish, not taking time to rest, fretting about spending–basically creating a lot of junk stress for myself.
 
I praise you for pointing this out to me right now as I write; forgive me! I praise you that you do, not reacting in anger and turning away from me–for you are good and ready to forgive and abounding in mercy towards all those who call upon you (Ps. 86:5). Help me to consistently draw near to you so I can quickly note my sinful tendencies and immediately repent.]
 
“you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.”
 
[Yes, you are my God, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Guide, my Protector. Thank you that you do not reject me, that in your great love and mighty mercy you are patiently and persistently working in and with me to bring transformation, growth and deepening. I praise you for your gracious goodness in leading me upward and onward.]
 
Psalm 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.”
 
[Your love is far greater than that of my parents, therefore you will always receive me. I praise you for how you will guide me today, for you are my Light and my Salvation, you are the Fortress of my life, whom should I fear, of whom should I be afraid?
 
You, O Lord, are great and powerful, wise and all knowing, positive and pure, holy and grace-filled. You are good and do only good, all the time. Thank you for the difficulties you are using in my life now. I praise you for them. Help me to walk through them with your power and wisdom today.
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Psalm 27:7-8

Psalm 27:7 “Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.”
 
[It is wonderful to know that you, LORD, are consistently merciful, and always hear us when we call. You always answer our prayers at the right time and in the right way, whether it be “Yes,” “No,” or “Wait.” You are the great and wonderful God who cares for us richly, positively and powerfully.]
 
Psalm 27:8 “My heart says of you, ‘Seek his face!’ Your face, LORD, I will seek.”
 
[Yes, Lord, I do want to consistently seek your face, spending time in your Word, opening my heart and my spirit to you and your direction. I want to understand and embrace all that you are and what you have for me.
 
To seek you I must spend time in personal worship, focusing on the wonder of your beautiful character without thinking how that benefits me. “I praise you, Lord God, that you are the Almighty Creator, breathing the stars, giving each a name, setting them in their place. Praise you that you hung the earth on nothing and that nothing can shake it without your permission. On the other end of the scale, you delicately created flowers in their many colors and shapes, giving them beauty and scent. I praise you that you are eternal, all-knowing and all-present. You are truly worthy of exaltation.”
 
To seek you I must lift my soul to you, getting out my thoughts, feelings and desires so you can help me sort through them, judging them from the perspective of your Word, and choosing what you desire.
 
Sometimes this is hard, for I often set my heart on things on the earth which are not so important to you. Then as I seek your will, you help me to set my heart and mind on things above.
 
To seek you I must let go of my myriad plans and projects, surrendering them all to you. Instead, I must hold onto your mercy, your goodness, your wisdom. And then I can rise above the uncertainty around me, the problems before me and my impatience within me.
 
Here on the farm there are so many possible projects before me, like finishing the roofing work, so every day I need to let go of what I’d like to do, hold on to what is possible and wise and thereby be able to rise above all my worry and fear and frustration. Thank you that you always help me with this. Guide me today in seeking your face in all.]
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Psalm 27:5-6

Psalm 27:5 “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.”
 
[When we seek you, Lord, when we choose to dwell in your presence and trust you, this is what you will do for us: protect and provide, shelter and deliver. My part is to immediately seek you when trouble comes, rather than venture out in my own puny strength and very limited wisdom to attempt my own deliverance—a futile effort.
 
As I seek you, you will hide me from the enemy, you will set me on a high place, giving me both your protection and your perspective. Help me to consistently take shelter in you by offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving in the face of trouble, thereby honoring you and opening the way so you can show me your salvation (Ps. 50:23).]
 
Psalm 27:6 “Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me;”
 
[You will work things out–as I have seen you do so often in my life–you will do what is best in defeating the enemies around me—primarily Satan and his minions—who attack me, who want to bring stress, distress and harm. You will accomplish this deliverance as I follow and trust you in praise, in prayer, in obedience to what I know to be true, keeping on your armor.]
 
“at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.”
 
[Because of your great Love, your mighty Help, your gracious Goodness, I will rejoice in you, call out praise, exalt you in song. I praise you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, for your constant and good work in my life.
 
Guide me today, Lord, in giving you glory and exaltation that those around me may also rejoice in you. I will give you honor through praise, I will give you glory through obedience.
 
Help me to let go of what is temporal, to hold on to what is eternal, and give me the wisdom to discern which is which. May you be honored in my life today. Amen.]
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Psalm 27:4

Psalm 27:4 “One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,”

[When David wrote this, he was thinking of the tabernacle in Jerusalem. Today this request has come true for every believer because we each are now a temple of God (1 Cor. 6:19) with the Holy Spirit living in us. That is part of the wonder of being your children, Lord: we are ever with you.]

We can continually “…gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”

[This takes intentionality, it takes focus, surrender and discipline—I must turn my eyes from the distractions of my desires, of the world’s offers and temptations to look instead on the glorious God of creation.

I praise you, Lord Jesus, that you have led me to begin learning to gaze upon your beauty in personal worship. There I can see your greatness, your power, your wisdom, your grace, your wrath against sin, your mighty love demonstrated in redeeming your rebellious creatures, and your great patience in working to bring us to maturity in you.

In teaching me to worship, you are helping me to give you the glory and honor which is due your name for your wonderful and rich character. Then when trouble comes, I can reject my natural tendency to first seek solutions on my own, or from those around me. Instead I can, as my first move, seek you, the only One who can help in every difficulty. More than that, you are the One who delights in helping us in exactly the way we need.

Forgive me for my independent attitude; help me to be fully dependent on you instead. Thank you, Lord, for all that you are, and for revealing some of it to us in your Word, your world and your way–breaking into our lives and dwelling with us, even though we deserve only rejection and punishment.

Help us to continually “gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek you in your temple,” ever praising you, the Great and Glorious One who stoops down to see and help us in our weakness and need.]

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Sickness

 
Our home at this time (mid 1980s) had one big drawback: air pollution. We were further down in the bowl of mountains, and smoke-filled air tended to settle there. There were also the buses standing across the street at their last stop and they often had their engines running continually, spewing diesel fumes out into the air.
 
In addition, at least once a winter there would be an inversion, where a cold air front came over the mountains and trapped the warmer, exhaust-filled air down in the city. The pollution then just kept building up.
 
When this happened, at times the air was literally a green fog that made it impossible to see more than a few yards. Then the heating of homes would be forbidden. Driving was restricted according to license plates: the odd numbered ones could drive on odd days, and even on even days.
 
This pollution was a major factor in my having severe sinusitis attacks several times each winter. I had high fevers, weeks of weakness, and took lots of antibiotics. Through this I learned that if you are sick as a teacher, you still have to go out to the university, visit the clinic there and get confirmation that you are actually unable to work. Then you can get a day off. Since this process takes several hours, you don’t have much chance to get well in a day! This system, like many others, is in place because of basic dishonesty of the society.
 
One winter I was feeling so bad that I decided to try another doctor. The new specialist put me on a different antibiotic. After a week, however, I was no better, and went back to see him again.
 
This time he had me sit in a chair like a dentist’s and told me to lean my head back. He sprayed something into my nose and went away. Shortly he came back with a huge spike in one hand and a hammer in the other.
 
Without giving any explanation, he put the spike up my nose and began to hit it with the hammer! Once, twice, three times. “My, your bones are really hard,” he said as he gave it a fourth and bigger whack. The nail broke through into one of my sinus cavities, and out came a whole flood of poison.
Once I got over the shock of that treatment, with my sinuses now able to drain, I recovered quickly and went back to work. That was not the end of my bouts with sinusitis, but they came less often.
 
As time went on, the Lord began to show me other causes of my frequent illnesses. The first was that I was doing too much. My dear wife pointed this out a good number of times before I caught on. “Why do you have to do a Bible study with him every week? Try it every other week!” she would say. But I was here to do outreach and I wanted to do more, not less! However I didn’t take into account the fact that I had three full time jobs: teaching, church planting and my position as field leader .
 
Eventually the Lord got through to me with the message that I should pray more and do less, that I should work smarter, not harder. That definitely helped as I expended less energy and got more rest.
 
A second factor to improving my health was learning the importance of keeping hydrated. The heating system in most homes makes the air really dry in the winter. Then that dry air sucks the moisture out of our respiratory systems, making us much more vulnerable to all the germs floating around. After grasping this truth, I began drinking lots more water, even though I didn’t feel thirsty. This helped a great deal. Now I am convinced that the most I can do for my overall physical health is to keep hydrated.
 
The last health factor i needed to do something about was the increased air pollution at our present location. In 1986 we finally moved to a cleaner section of town, and from then on I was rarely sick with sinusitis. In my x-rays doctors could still see it sitting there in my sinuses, but unless I got very tired or really stressed, it did not come out to get me.
 
So the Lord freed me from my self-imposed illnesses and in the process taught me to value prayer over activity.
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Acceptance by God and by me.

In the daily practice of praying on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), there has been a significant solidification of my emotional state, giving a growing stability that is very encouraging.

This is not a self-centered focus but is believing and accepting what God says about us; it is living in the light of His love rather than in self-condemnation, in vague shame and the natural negative self-thoughts that Satan wants me to dwell on. I have always been critical of and dissatisfied with myself, never believing I can measure up, but this is fading as I see more and more of God’s total forgiveness and love.

In this, the Lord is building in me an emotionally healthy independence from others—I no longer feel obligated to be influenced and controlled by others negative emotions. And He is also developing an emotionally healthy, deeper dependence on Himself. The growing grasp of His unshifting character, manifested in His love, acceptance and graciousness, is the rock upon which I can rest. In the light of this, I actually like myself now!

Following is part of what I pray in putting on the belt of truth and breastplate of righteousness. In this, I do not just say the words, I seek to enter into the truths emotionally, letting myself feel both sides (negative and positive) and choose to rest in the warm and rich goodness of His love for me. Try it yourself, praying this each day for a month and see what a difference it makes for you!

“Help me, Lord, to stand today having on the belt of truth. On one side is the truth that all I deserve as a sinner is failure, frustration, depression, despair, hopelessness, punishment, suffering and death.

“But you, in your gracious love, have redeemed me, cleansed me, called me into your waiting arms, made me your child, brought me into your family and into your Kingdom of light, of love and of life. You have given me forgiveness, joy and peace. You have given me purpose, protection and provision. You have given me meaning, hope and a future. In you I am chosen, holy and dearly loved (Col. 3:12). I did not choose you, but you chose me because you wanted me! (John 15:16).

“You, Lord Jesus, love me as the Father loves you! (John 15:9): wholeheartedly, unconditionally, enthusiastically, joyfully, eternally! You are glad when I come into your presence in prayer, you laugh with pleasure when we are together and you rejoice in having me as your child. You saved me because you delight in me (Ps. 18:19).

“Help me to put on the breastplate of righteousness. In doing this, I agree to forgive myself as you have forgiven me, to accept myself and to love myself as you do. I choose to bask in your wholehearted approval and acceptance of me; I agree to rejoice in your unceasing love for me; I commit to reveling in your rich and eager embracing of me as your beloved child.

“While eagerly confessing any sin and receiving your forgiveness, I repent of being critical, negative and unaccepting of myself. I exchange these for your garment of approval, your covering of love and your continuous warm, happy, gracious embracing of me as your dear and valued child, chosen before the foundation of the world to be holy and without blame before you in love! (Eph. 1:4).

“What a wonder! I praise you for your great and gracious goodness, your marvelous and magnificent kindness and your unending, undying, eternal love for me. Help me to walk in the light of your warm and wonderful presence throughout today, obeying you in all and loving myself as you love me, so I can better love my neighbor.”

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Accepted, Approved, Embraced

Praise be to you, Father in Heaven, for your perfect love and grace in our lives. You chose us before the foundation of the world, meaning that you wanted us to be your children and knew we would respond to your efforts to draw us to yourself.
 
You purchased us with the blood of the Lamb, paying a huge price to buy us back from the prince of darkness. You predestinated us to the adoption of children through Jesus Christ—“according to the good pleasure of your will” (Eph. 1:5b). It gave you pleasure to make sure that we became your children!
 
We are not just tolerated, we are fully, wonderfully, whole-heartedly embraced and enjoyed by you! We exalt in this, we rejoice in this and praise you, giving thanks from full hearts for the warm and wonderful love that you pour out on us every day.
 
According to Ephesians 1, your attitude towards us, your interaction with us, your words about us are filled with energetically positive and loving thoughts. It is a delight and pleasure to you when we come into your presence in prayer, or worship or thanksgiving or thought. Your response is, “Oh!! It’s you!! I’m so glad you came!!! I am delighted to hear from you!! I was just thinking about you, how much I love you, how you are one of my favorite ones—of course, all my children are my favorites, but that doesn’t diminish my love for you.
 
“I am so glad you are my child; I have no regrets about choosing, calling and adopting you; in fact, every time I think of you I am pleased; I delight in you; you are fully accepted in my heart. It is such a pleasure to have you in our family, to know you, to spend time with you.
“Come to me more often, I enjoy your prayers, your intercession, your praise time, your thoughts of me throughout the day. I look forward to eternity where we can spend unbroken time together in heaven, where you will be continually in my presence spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Live now in my love, live in obedience to Truth so that we both may have more pleasure and joy.”
 
And my soul and spirit respond with, “Yes!”
Prayer: “We praise you, Lord, our heavenly Father, for your rich, warm love toward us. Help us to honor and glorify you by reveling in your love, rejoicing in your acceptance, responding to your desire to spend time with us in coming to you each day.
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