While living in Germany in 2011, most of my ministry was done over the internet. At one point we lost our subscription and had to wait weeks to be reconnected. I tried another route, using an “internet stick” that connected through cell phone signals, and with great expectation went through the process of buying and setting it up, only to have it be so slow as to be useless. The following is what I wrote as I processed this disappointment by lifting my soul to God.
Thank you, Lord, for the disappointment with the internet stick yesterday—after spending 1.5 hours in the Vodafone shop, to come home and have it be so slow was a shock.
Here is a case of setting my heart on something, on a solution, and then having it fail. Thank you for this, Lord, another chance to praise you by faith, to look away from my solutions to yours, to rest in you in the midst of difficulties—and such minor, simple inconveniences, really.
One factor is that I fear missing out on something by not having connection to the internet. But that is fear, not faith. I can trust you to get me on when it is needed, to guide and lead me, Lord, to give me wisdom and direction, protection and help.
Thank you for another chance to give you glory and honor through trust rather than lapse into complaining and self-pity. And I do choose to praise, to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving for that which I do not like so that you may have more glory and honor, Lord.
Thank you again, Lord, for the opportunity to deny self, to reject the input of my feelings, to get up the shield of faith and quench those fiery darts of self-pity, discouragement, negative thinking and complaining.
You, Lord God, are the King of glory whom we can trust to bring about what is good and best and wise. So I praise you for your gracious kindness which you have stored up for us today. “…as it is written: ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him’ ” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
I praise you, Lord Jesus, my Great Shepherd, that you have purpose for this disappointment. At the very least it is taking my eyes off of the small, temporary and unimportant aspects of life and shifting them to the eternal and powerful truths you want me to live in.
I praise you that having no internet hook up is a part of our reality here. I thank you that you are directing me away from continually looking at things on line rather than spending my time in better things. Thank you for this discipline which will lead to greater freedom.
To know you is all I need; forgive me for trying to draw my happiness, my security, my sense of control from such temporary, unimportant, miniscule things in life. My purpose is to live for you, to be obedient to your Word and Spirit, to dwell in your Word rather than in my feelings and to praise you for your grace and goodness, Lord.
Today may I live for you with all my heart, being filled with your Spirit and doing what is right and honoring to you. Help me to praise you in all things, to reject complaining and negativeness and instead to rejoice in the great privilege of knowing you, Lord. Amen.
