Written in 2014
Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
[You, Lord, know the heart of each person; you see when we are wounded and overwhelmed, cringing and crushed by the pains of life. And you are there with us, working in us, drawing us to yourself, comforting and supporting us.
We are by nature stubborn and independent, rebellious and stiff-necked, so we often selfishly refuse to come to you, thinking we have the answers to the questions of life. Surrender often comes only when we are crushed and broken by circumstances (often of our own making) and our inability to cope. It is then, in that trauma, that we see our true state of total weakness, of dependence on you, see our sinfulness and rebellion, our need for forgiveness and salvation. You pin us down to help us face reality.
This is exactly what you did in me to bring the initial surrender, shutting me into a corner at the end of the earth on an island off the coast of Siberia. There I was powerless to escape–and I praise you for it, for with that dark experience you ushered me into the Kingdom of Light.
Lord, do continue to bring whatever breaking is needed so that we may surrender to you more deeply and be a more useful instrument in your gracious, powerful hands.
I thank you for what we are going through winter path of Barbara’s illness and depression [since resolved] and for how you will use it for good. Your path leads us somewhere for you are trustable, you are gracious, and you are wise.
Therefore, we can rest in your love, offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving every day, thereby honoring you and opening the way for you to show us the salvation of the Lord. This salvation could be giving us grace to endure this cross, or it may be bringing healing. Whatever it is, we praise you for it now, for your way is always good.]
Epilogue: as you know, after six years of struggling through chronic Lymes disease and depression, Barbara is now much much better.