A rather long entry from my worship journal:

A rather long entry from my worship journal:

 
I realize that I am not close to you, Lord Jesus. My head is full of projects and plans, fears and frustrations. I want to lay these aside and follow you with all my heart, being open to you, increasingly in love with you, worshiping you each moment of the day. So, I lay aside fixing the old tractor, dealing with the renters, writing and selling books, shopping, even Barbara’s situation, and I look to you, the amazing, awesome, Almighty One.
 
You are pure and holy, completely other than anything else that exists–for all has been created, but you are from forever to forever. Everything else has a beginning, while you have always been. You are perfect, with no possibility of getting better or worse. You are stable, rock-solidly sure, unchangingly faithful to your beautiful and pure character.
 
You are infinite–infinite in power, in wisdom, in knowledge and in presence—you fill the whole universe, you are everywhere at the same time, fully present, fully engaged, fully focused on everything and everyone at once.
 
O, what pain your heart must suffer, as you see your creatures making selfish, destructive, evil choices over and over again; and as you see your children trusting themselves instead of you, choosing to follow their own deceptive hearts rather than your wonderful Word. And yet, in your great, constant, deep, gracious Love, you continue to be with us, holding our right hand, guiding us with your wisdom, and ready to receive us into glory when our time comes.
 
You are so kind, so gracious, so forgiving, so patient. And you, in your wisdom, correct, rebuke and punish us until we are willing to repent and change our ways; and if we continue in our stubbornness, you may take us early to prevent further disgrace to your Name. You know what is best and do not shrink from making the hard decisions. Help me to be like that, too.
 
You are the all powerful One, who is able to create by speaking, by your word, by breathing. You brought out the stars by the breath of your mouth–millions of them, burning at surface temperatures of at least 10,000 degrees F, as our star does. And the sun is a just tiny star, totally dwarfed by giant ones which defy the known laws of physics, but not your laws. And you assigned each star its place, gave each its name and hold all in order.
 
On the other end of the scale, you are the One who holds all things together, including the nucleus of every atom Since likes repel, and the nucleus of every atom is made up of positively charged particles, it should, naturally, blow apart. Why doesn’t it? Scientists don’t know; they say it is held together by a “mysterious force.” Scripture tells us this is you, Lord, Jesus (“…in him all things hold together.” Col. 1:17). Such unimaginable power and presence, to hold together the zillions of atoms that make up the universe, one by one. You are beyond conception, Lord Jesus!
 
And in spite of doing all this, you are able to be intimately involved in the lives of every one of your children, working out the details that are beyond our control, protecting, guiding, providing for us moment by moment. You are so patient, so profoundly kind, so positively good to us rebellious, unbelieving and selfish creatures.
 
You are wonderful beyond words, marvelous beyond our meditations, great beyond what we can grasp and amazing beyond our ability to comprehend. I praise you that you are thus, so unlike us, so steady, so firm, so wise, so gracious, so loving, so righteous, so merciful, so faithful.
 
I praise you that all is in your hand, all is prepared and we only have to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow you in your invitation to join you in this master plan laid out before us, looking to you, Lord Jesus, the giver and the completer of our faith.
 
May we follow you with all our hearts, embracing the joy of knowing you, knowing your love, knowing the future you have planned out, stretching throughout the rest of our lives here and extending on into eternity. There we will know you more and more, living in sinless perfection, able to join you more deeply and widely in your great plans for the new Heaven and new Earth. Praise you, Lord Jesus, for your great and wonderful, unimaginable greatness.
 
I bow before you today, surrendering myself to your knowledge, to your leadership, to your wisdom. May I be strong in you and the power of your might, being filled with your Spirit, surrendered to your plan and thinking your thoughts.
 
Thank you, Lord, for what you are doing and going to do. May I bring you one long continuous string of glory moments this day, offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving at each step.
 

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