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The Seven Secrets of Happiness Part 3

 
Here are two more “secrets” to help you.
 
5. Speak the truth:
 
Lying leads to confusion for all involved; it destroys trust; it robs the liar and the “lied to” of the dignity we each are given by God.
 
To lie ensnares. The Germans have a saying, “Lies have short legs,” they can’t run far and will be caught. Being caught certainly decreases our happiness!
 
In contrast to speak the truth in love is freeing. We no longer have to fear we will be caught, nor do we have the stress of trying to remember what we told to whom. We can look at ourselves in the mirror without shame.
 
Being a truth-speaker will make you happier—and healthier–like this open and honest young man here in this picture.
 
May be an image of 1 person, child and outdoors
6. Forgive others:
 
Forgiveness is the highest form of obedience to God, as it a very unnatural thing to do.
 
To forgive is freeing, while holding a grudge, not forgiving does more damage to ourselves than to others. Unforgiveness unnecessarily destroys relationships and brings unhappiness to all.
 
To refuse to forgive is like taking rat poison and waiting for the other person to die. If I don’t forgive, I tie myself to the person who harmed me: every time I think of him or her my stomach gets into knots; when I see that person I try to avoid him. He actually controls me!
 
This can lead to many problems, like too much stress, illnesses, other broken relationships and, of course, much unhappiness.
 
I must also be willing to forgive myself, which is sometimes harder than forgiving others. If Jesus says his death is sufficient to purchase forgiveness for me, who am I to say it wasn’t enough?
 
To forgive is to please God and it is to set myself free to have good relationships like in this second picture. It allows us to better serve God, and in that freedom, God will give us happiness.
 
May be an image of 1 person, child, sitting and indoor

The Seven Secrets of Happiness, Part 2.

3. Distinguish between wants and needs:
 
Advertising seeks to make our wants appear to be needs. Our needs are actually few: food and water, air, shelter and meaningful relationships. Most things beyond that are wants which we can actually do without.
 
If we know that we have our actual needs met, and that our wants are actually optional, then we should be able to be more content with what we have–unlike the eager eaters in the picture below: they never have enough, always wanting more.
 
A sign that we have confused needs with wants is the often-used statement to justify an unwise decision, “I had no choice,” (for instance, “I had to buy a new car because it’s expected of me by my neighbors”). This is rarely true; this is the cry of the victim. It shows I tell myself that I had to do it but actually just wanted to.
 
This attitude makes us a slave to the opinions of those around us rather than looking at things objectively, biblically.
 
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Ps. 23:1 He will give us what we need.
 
So reject thinking your wants are needs. Make yourself happy: be thankful your needs are met and be grateful for whatever else you are able to have, rather than being greedy for more and more.
 
4. Do what you should:
 
When we avoid responsibility, we may gain temporary happiness, but get long-term unhappiness. The person who does what he should, even though he feels like doing the opposite, is much happier than the person who indulges himself in some momentary pleasure while avoiding a responsibility.
 
Avoidance of responsibility is often seen in the phrase, “I wasn’t able to get it done,” while actually the truth is, “I chose not to do it.” I remember one student telling me, “I was unable to do my homework.” When I asked why he replied, “I had to go to a football game!”
 
Do the basics in life: make your bed, clear the table, mow the lawn, wash the dishes and spend time with your children and grandchildren. Such things will make your happier than pursuing your own irresponsible desires.
 
 
May be an image of animal and food     May be an image of 2 people, people standing and grass

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Working Through the Impossible
 
Two weeks later we were at IMI’s candidate school in New Jersey. However, with a newborn to care for and the tire business booming, we could not attend the whole candidate school program at this time. So we were invited to come for our initial interviews, which would provide us with a provisional acceptance so we could begin deputation.
 
Our theological interview included giving IMI an overview of our life, which provided a clear illustration of how God had us working as a team. I had no formal biblical training, while Barbara had been an excellent student at a Bible school in Germany. Every question I could not have answered was directed to Barbara, who knew what to say. She made us look really good. Any questions I was asked, I was able to answer from my own personal studies. The Lord worked it out well!
 
Normally a candidate for IMI had to have thirty hours of Bible teaching, but when we took the Bible knowledge test, both of us passed it with flying colors, so the requirement was waived for me.
 
At the end of our interview someone commented on how good Barbara’s Bible knowledge was. “Yes,” I said, “She is my walking concordance!”
 
“What a beautiful concordance,” commented one man.
 
“Let us pray,” said the president, drawing the interview to a close.
 
That summer of 1978 was very busy: the tire business continued to expand rapidly, we now had two little ones, and as we were officially accepted by IMI, we began seeking church support.
 
It was also a summer of tension, because I explained to Dad our plans to live and work abroad. This was a difficult piece of news for him, both to hear and to accept. Not only would this affect his financial future, but because I was his closest friend, he would be losing the companionship we shared in doing a lot of activities and projects together.
 
Then there was the loss of his two grand boys to consider. All of these changes would cause a major shift in his life, pulling the rug out from under what had been a secure, comfortable-looking future for him and Mom.
 
After his initial shock, he stated firmly that he would only allow us to go if one of my brothers stepped in to take my place running the business.
 
Of course, “allowing” was not the proper word, as I was thirty-two, a married man and no longer under Dad’s authority. But we knew biblically that honoring him by leaving with his blessing, was crucial to the process, so I acquiesced to his demand.
 
This would seem a pretty safe route for Dad to take, because the likelihood of one of my brothers taking my place was pretty slim. My brother Les was a computer scientist living in Ohio. My brother Sam had left His Mansion and was doing a church plant in a nearby town. To support himself, Sam was now working at a lumberyard and had no interest in the tire shop.
 
Another factor was that Sam and Dad had a history of conflict. Sam was a free spirit, more of an artist than a businessman and he and Dad had different views of how to handle finances.
 
Barbara and I decided just to back off, wait and pray; the Lord would bring a solution if He wanted us to go.
I was very glad that IMI had a policy of not asking for money. When we spoke in churches, we were to present the work, the spiritual need and ask for prayer, but not mention money unless it was brought up by others. This meant dependence on God, not twisting people’s arms. I liked that.
 
I later saw from others’ experience that when people agree to support because they felt under pressure, they often don’t follow through. It is much better to let God move people to come forward and pledge.
 
After a bit of experimenting, we developed a presentation ending with this statement to the congregation: “We need two things from you. First is prayer. Without prayer nothing of significance can happen. As you pray, God will work.
 
“The second is…” and I would pause here for effect: people were expecting me to say “money” or “support” but I continued with “…more prayer, because if you pray for us God will do the rest!” And so He did.

Picture 1: our little hippy famly ready to visit churches!

Picture 2: Dad with our older boy

May be a black-and-white image of 3 people, child and people standing     May be an image of 1 person, child, sitting and outdoors

The Seven Secrets of Happiness part 1

When I was teaching English in the University in T, I developed a lesson on “the Seven Secrets of Happiness.” These are true for everyone. You will note that they are biblical principles and therefore profitable if we implement them.
 
Happiness is tied to our circumstances while joy is tied to our God. We can choose happiness by applying these seven secrets. And we can choose joy by trusting God: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace AS YOU TRUST IN HIM, so that your life may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13. Let us choose both.
 
I will give you a couple of the Seven Secrets of Happiness each day for a while. Try them and see what a difference it makes in your outlook.
 
1. Count your blessings:
 
Have an attitude of gratitude. It is so natural to think about what we don’t have. In contrast, each of us has many good things in our lives that we never think about: sight, hearing, hands that work marvelously and feet that support us, to name a few.
 
Each morning the sun comes up; each night it gets dark giving us time to rest. Most here have clothes to wear and food to eat along with a place to sleep. Most of us can read and write. Most of us have some friends, the ability to share with them.
 
Each of us have something that we are good at. And the list goes on. When you are tempted to complain, tell yourself ten things you are thankful for.
 
2. Compare down:
 
It is natural to compare ourselves with those better off than we are. If I have a bicycle, I compare myself to the person who has a car. If I have a Chevy, I look at the man who has a Mercedes, if I have middle range job, I look to the person who is an executive.
 
However, if we do the opposite, comparing down, comparing ourselves with those worse off, then we get a much better perspective. Look at those living in Afghanistan or Sudan or Syria who have lost everything.
 
Look at the person with no feet, or no sight, or no hearing.
 
When you are unhappy about the weather, think of the person living in India where the temperature in 130 degrees with much humidity, no air conditioning and often there is no electricity to run any fans. 90 doesn’t seem that bad a temperature!
 
Comparing down brings perspective and should stimulate us to be thankful for what we have, reinforcing an attitude of gratitude.
, which leads us to happiness. Give it a try.
 
Choose the happiness God has for you!
May be an image of flower and nature

Collision with Faith

Written in the 1980s
 
“He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30b
 
This morning two believing ladies came to Barbara for a Bible study where she taught a lesson on the importance of thanking God in and for all things (Ps. 50:23). Barbara emphasized that only good things come from God, but at times He also allows Satan to bring along a seemingly bad thing so God can work some good from it in our lives.
 
I arrived home from teaching at the university at about 1 pm, just as they were finishing the lesson, so Barbara asked me to drive one of them, Nadia, down to the local share taxi stop because this was the first time she’d come by herself and she wasn’t quite sure of the way.
 
Since the main road was very busy, I drove to the other side so Nadia wouldn’t have to cross. I explained this to her and pointed out where she should wait for the share taxi. But, when she got out of the car, she began to cross the road; somehow she had it in her mind that she was on the wrong side. I was now waiting at the red light to cross and called her to come back and wait.
 
Instead of coming back, for some reason she hesitated and went first one way and then the other, not aware of a truck that was rapidly bearing down on her.
 
I could see the accident coming, but could do nothing to prevent it. The driver obviously expected Nadia to get out of the way because he just flashed his lights and kept coming, but she had her back to him, and then “wham,” he hit her. She flew into the air and landed in a crumpled heap on the pavement.
 
I shouted “Oh, no!” and leaped out of the car, running to her side. I was sure she was dead from that tremendous impact. However, she only had the wind knocked out of her and was conscious. With the help of others, I carried her to my car and took her to the hospital. She was spitting blood and moaning, while at the same time thanking me for helping her and apologizing for causing me trouble! It turned out that there were no broken bones, only bruises.
 
Such an incident is hard to thank God for, but he brought several good things out of this. The first, and somewhat comical, was that her crooked nose was straightened out by the impact!
 
More importantly, God used the accident to heal some broken relationships. Because Nadia and her family had become Christians, her brother-in-law and family had not been speaking to Nadia’s family for three years, which was a great grief to her.
 
But the brother-in-law sent his son to the hospital to see how Nadia was doing! Then two believing women who had been very condemning of Nadia showed sympathy for her in this situation.
 
Nadia herself was praising God for how He was using the accident even before she saw all the positive results. Not bad for a believer of only four months! How about us?
 
Prayer: “Lord, help me to also be a person who, in faith, gives thanks in all things so that you may be honored before men and angels. Amen.”
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Psalm 37:1

 
Psalm 37:1 Of David. “Fret not yourself because of evildoers;”
[Praise you, Lord, for your clear commands which steer us away from our natural, selfish reactions and towards your wonderful ways.
Because it is so easy to get worked up about evildoers: selfish, corrupt, immoral political leaders here and abroad, unjust actions, destructive organizations giving unjust decisions and anti-Christian groups making brutal attacks. But you in your great wisdom and knowledge of the future, have reasons for allowing them.
You will use them to open people’s eyes to truth and bring many into your Kingdom, while maturing your children through difficulties. Therefore, we can rest in you and pray for and about them, rather than wasting energy and time in fretting, knowing that you are the One who takes down and sets up rulers.]
“be not envious of wrongdoers!”
[It is so easy to envy their power, the effectiveness of their ways and to be tempted to imitate their tactics, desiring to use their fallen methods, of course, for good. But the good is then tainted and negated by the world’s wily ways.
Your command is, “Be not!” I praise you for this word that moves us towards a supernatural view of things, freeing us from what is of this fallen world. Then we can be like you and act out of your thoughts and ways: loving our enemies, praying for those who persecute us, forgiving those who harm us. Praise you for the possibility of letting go of temporary values, of holding on to what is eternal and rising above our difficult situations.]
Psalm 37:2 “For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb.”
Here’s the freeing perspective you give us: these evil doers won’t be around for too long. You will cause them to fail and fade (think of Stalin, Hitler and Mao), while your children still stand–because you are the preserver and protector of the righteous. These evil doers will melt like snow in the Spring Sonshine, revealing the rich, dark ground of your plans that produces spiritual growth in our lives.
 
Praise you, Lord God, that you can see into the future, that you know all to come and that we can trust you to prepare us, knowing that you will work out what is best, guiding us in joining you in the process.
To follow worldly ways brings death; to obey your wonderful ways brings eternal life and eternal fruit. Help us to choose your ways throughout this day so we can honor you before all.
May be an image of plant and outdoors

More from the Add-on Eskimo

 
The Lord was not long in bringing answers to the young teacher’s question. One day while he was at the village store, one of the Eskimos came up to the teacher, “Would you like to go with me to the other village this weekend? It’s 100 miles by snow traveler.”
 
Without hesitation the teacher said, “Yes, I would like that very much!”
 
“OK, we will leave then early Saturday morning and return Sunday evening. Dress in your warmest clothes.”
Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, the sun sparkling on the deep snow as they made their way up into the island’s backbone of small volcanoes. The teacher stood on the back of a dogsled fastened to the snow traveler. They were going to use the sled to bring back some walrus meat for Savoonga.
 
At one point the Eskimo made a sharp turn around an out cropping of lava, whipping the sled around so that it turned over and the teacher was thrown off. He scrambled up and stood to watch the snow traveler disappearing in the distance.
 
He shouted, but the noise of the machine made it impossible for the Eskimo to hear, so he began to run. But the snow was so deep and the air so cold that he soon gave that up and began to trudge along the tracks the snow traveler had made. He knew he was in trouble if he got stranded out here with no food, no shelter, no water.
 
Soon, however, the snow traveler came back into sight. The Eskimo had looked back, seen the empty sled, and turned back to get his missing passenger.
They arrived in the village of Sivukuk just at dark. The teacher was invited to stay with the public health nurse, a young fellow from Wisconsin, a farm boy like the teacher.
 
After supper the teacher asked the nurse, “What’s your philosophy of life?”
 
“I’m a born-again Christian,” he answered. “God brought me here to provide medical care for this village, and some for Savoonga when it’s needed. It’s almost like being a doctor, as I’m called upon the deal with many situations—delivering babies, stitching up bad cuts, taking care of gun-shot wounds. It’s challenging, but I love doing what God has given me.”
 
“Wow,” thought the teacher. “He has much more responsibility than I do, but I sense a power in his life that I don’t have. That’s what I need!”
 
The teacher knew the gospel very well, having grown up in a good, solid church. He had, in fact, accepted Christ as his Savior three times: when he was six, nine and fourteen. At age nine he began reading the Bible every day, starting in Genesis. He had a hard time making it through some of those Old Testament books, but plodded on, completing the whole Bible by the time he was twelve.
 
However, his belief was only intellectual, he had not surrendered to Jesus as his Lord. In fact, when he was sixteen, he had said to himself, “Christianity is the greatest theory there ever was—but I’m not surrendering myself to a theory.”
 
He went on to college where he continued to live as a Christian, avoiding all the pitfalls and evils of society at that time of widespread drug use and immorality.
 
Then in his senior year he seriously sought a philosophy of life and settled on helping people. Wanting to help other people gave him direction, and when he heard that the BIA would hire teachers without a teaching degree, he took the national teachers’ exam and applied. Then he packed up and rode his motorcycle from Connecticut to Alaska, where he was hired in Juneau and sent out to the island.
Now, here he was, faced again with the claims of Christ. He returned to Savoonga on Sunday with his Eskimo friend, pulling a load of walrus meat.
 
As soon as he got home, he got out a book that had been recommended to him, “The Taste of New Wine “by Keith Miller (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1966). It was the story of a Texas oil man’s search for a relationship with God.
Like the young teacher, the oil man had resisted surrender, but one day while driving along, he was overwhelmed with his inability to handle life. So, he pulled off the road and prayed a very simple prayer, “Lord, I give you my will and take yours in its place.” A complete surrender.
 
“That’s what I haven’t done,” said the teacher to himself, “but I will.”
 
He got down on his knees in that dark arctic December night and prayed, “Lord, I give you my will and take yours in its place.”
 
Nothing happened, so he to bed, not knowing that great change was waiting for him in the morning.
 

Pictures: on the way to Alaska and the trip back to Savoonga with a load of Walrus meatMay be an image of 1 person, motorcycle and outdoors     No photo description available.

Overflow

 
“In the day of my trouble I will call to you,” [this is to be my response to difficulty, disappointment, doubt and despair: to come to you] “for you WILL answer me” (Ps. 86:7).
 
This is a certainty, for
you are trustable,
you will act
and help
in the way and in the time you know is best.
 
I can praise you for that now, before any resolution comes.
 
“Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours” (Ps. 86:8).
 
I can trust you because you are so great:
great in character,
in integrity,
in wisdom,
in power,
in goodness,
in the certainty that you will act.
 
Therefore You are worthy
of worship,
of wonder
and of waiting for.
 
Glory be to you today in my life, Lord
as I trust in you,
so that you can fill me with all joy and peace,
and cause my life to overflow
with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 15:13)
May be an image of flower and nature

The Ride

The most comforting Truth is scripture is that God has a plan! He knows what He’s doing and where He’s going, and He’s taking us along for the ride!
 
Praise be to you Lord God, that you are Ruler of all, King of Glory, Master of the universe, Lord over every circumstance.
 
I praise you that your hand is mighty and that you are the eternal Sovereign, Lord over all that goes on, all that comes into my life. Each thing arrives with your permission, with your goals, with your purpose.
 
Therefore, I can praise you for my present difficulty, trust you in it, rest before you in the help you will give before I can see it. This is setting my heart on things above, on your things, your outcome, your decisions, your plans.
 
Praise you that in the unresolved situation before me, I can praise you for the outcome now, while things still look dark and the horizon is disturbingly empty.
 
Our hope is in you, Lord God, Lord Jesus, Heavenly Father, Triune Lord who helps us at break of day.
 
“Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you” (Ps.143:9). Yes, I come to you, asking you to fight for me, guide me, give me wisdom.
 
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God…” (Ps. 143:10a). I do surrender myself to you in this situation, I commit to doing your will rather than following my own.
 
“May your good Spirit lead me on level ground” (Ps.143:10b). I praise you that you are only good, that you will lead me on good ground, in a grace-filled way, in paths of righteousness.
 
“For your name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble” (Ps.143:11). Yes, do this to bring glory to your Name, do this according to your character, only you can correctly bring me out of difficulty.
Prayer: “Lord, help me to bow before you, to revel in your goodness, to delight in your holiness, to rejoice in your powerfulness, and to rest in your perfectness, for this brings you glory. I ask today for your direction, your guidance, your bringing to pass what is good and I praise you now for what you will do. Amen.”
 
May be an image of flower and indoor

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More from my autobio.
 
That winter my sister, Marcia, got engaged to Chris, a good friend of my brother, Les. Chris and Les had gone to college together, studied in Germany together, and lived together after college while working as computer engineers for the same company.
 
They had also made a trip together to South America by motorcycle, intending to travel the whole rim of the continent, but were forced to return home from Quito, Ecuador when both came down with severe cases of hepatitis A.
 
We had shared a lot with Chris about the Lord, but he was not interested. He and Les were very much focused on motorcycles, running and their many adventures.
 
One time when Marcia was out in Ohio, visiting Les at the house he lived in with Chris and three other bachelors, she and Chris were talking about spiritual things. At the end he finally said, “Look, I have a great job, great friends, and a great fiancé. I will never reach out to God unless my life turns upside down.” That was dangerous and prophetic thing to say!
 
Sometime after this conversation, Chris and his fiancé were traveling with her two small children to Chris’ parents’ house for Thanksgiving. A drunk driver ran a stop sign and hit their vehicle, killing Chris’ fiancé on the spot. Just a few minutes before, Chris had switched seats with his fiancé. During the accident, the van was left literally flipped upside down but neither Chris nor the children were injured.
 
Shortly after, recognizing that God had met his challenge and turned his world upside down, Chris surrendered to the Lord, was born again and began his very fruitful life-long spiritual journey.
 
Following his time of grieving for his fiancé, settling her estate and getting her children into the care of her sister, Chris was able to think of moving on with his life. Over the years, he had been interested in Marcia, but knew she wouldn’t be interested in someone who was not a committed Christian.
 
Now that this major barrier was removed, he courted her, and they were soon engaged. We were all enthused about this for Chris had basically been a member of our family for years and his marrying Marcia only made it official.
 
They planned a May wedding, on the 27th. Marcia not only wanted to get married on a Saturday, but wanted to hold the wedding in the yard of our house and have the reception in one of the tire business buildings!
 
I was not too happy with this, as it meant that we’d have to be closed on a Saturday, the busiest workday of the week, but I bowed to Dad’s desire to grant his youngest daughter her wish.
 
Barbara was due with our second baby on May 29th, so we were hoping that there would be no interference with the wedding. The rehearsal dinner was on the evening of the 26th. I had an upset stomach, so I stayed home with little Josh. Barbara said it was a great meal and even commented to one of her sisters-in-law that it was a good meal to have before a delivery.
 
Then at 1:30 am she nudged me and said, “It’s time to go to the hospital.”
 
“Oh no!” I groaned, still feeling quite sick, and rolled over. She got up and got ready. I struggled out of bed and went over to my parents to tell them we were leaving. Their door was locked, however, so I went in through the cellar and upstairs to give them the news. And then we were off to the hospital.
 
When the doctor came into the labor room, he took one look at me and said, “Nurse, get this man some crackers and juice! He looks as pale as a ghost!”
 
Little Nathanael was born at 8:30 am. Unlike Josh, when he was brought to us, he didn’t open his eyes at all, but just nursed a little and then slept. They were two very different boys, right out of the womb.
 
I was home by 9:30 and got ready for the wedding, dressing Josh in the little suit Barbara’s mother had made for him (see picture below). The bride told me she thought he was the cutest little German boy there!
 
I was to be an usher, so I tucked Josh into the crook of my arm, where he sat like a little prince, and together we escorted people down the aisle in the yard behind our house.
 
As Chris and Marcia were leaving for their honeymoon, they stopped by the hospital to see Barbara and little Nathanael–very nice. It was an illustration of the kind of support they and my other siblings would give us throughout the coming years.
May be an image of child