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From EDIFIED!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him….”
Romans 15:13a
 
Praise be to you, Lord Jesus, King of Peace, God of Grace, Giver of Good. You, in your wisdom have brought to us the possibility of peace, but have left to us the practice of partaking, implementing and enjoying it. You invite us to dine with you at the table of peace; if we refuse to sit down and join you by trusting you, we, by our own choice, will live in peaceless turmoil, worry and fear.
 
I praise you, Lord Jesus, for what you have done in your great Love, Wisdom and Faithfulness, making peace possible. In your passion you have provided for all people a passage from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light. You have made peace available to all by sacrificing yourself.
 
Without you, Lord Jesus, there can be no peace. Without trusting you there can be no rest. You are a wonder, loving your enemies so much that you provided them peace at great personal cost. And in your wisdom you made us responsible for taking up and enjoying that peace through trust and obedience.
 
So now we can have peace, first with you, Heavenly Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ, by confessing our sins, receiving forgiveness and surrendering to you as our Lord.
Then we can have peace within when we forgive ourselves as you have forgiven us.
 
After that we can have peace with others by forgiving them as you have forgiven us, and by asking for forgiveness when we commit an offence against them. The outcome is the release of grace from above, bringing peace within and the flow of peace without, to those around us.
 
This peace is carried on into our day as we trust in you, lifting up the shield of faith by praise, which is the demonstration of our trust in you, for, “You are good and ready to forgive and plenteous in mercy to all those who call upon you” (Ps. 86:5, KJV).
 
“Lord God, King of Peace, help me today to have peace with you, confessing all sin and receiving your forgiveness; to have peace with myself, forgiving myself for my failures and sins because your shed blood covers them; and to have peace with others, forgiving them as you have forgiven me. Help me to walk through this day in peace with all because of your great sacrifice, Lord Jesus. Amen.”
May be an image of sky, tree, twilight, nature and lake

Depression and the way out

After the doctors shocking diagnosis, I said, “OK, Lord, I am going to trust in you. Show me what to do next.”

Immediately Hebrews 12:1-17 came to mind.  This was one of the chapters that Bill Gotthard had recommended for meditation and had entitled it, “Difficulties: where they come from and what to do with them.”  I got out my Bible and began to memorize it in preparation to meditating on it.

Almost from the beginning of this process, answers began to pop out from the page for me.  The first major point was that this depression was proof that God loved me! That was a major worldview shift!

Verses 5 and 6 said, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves…” His discipline, allowing this depression, proved He loved and cared for me. He know what I needed to take the next step up.

That was certainly a new thought, upside down from what is natural—or better put, what is natural is upside down and God’s thoughts are right side up! Clearly, if God loves me, He’d want to confront me on issues that need to be corrected.

Then as I continued memorizing, three important insights emerged that helped me grasp exactly what God is doing in disciplining His children.

The first was from Hebrews 12:9.  “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!”

This word “live” stood out to me–I was barely existing in this depression, not living at all. I looked up the Greek word in a concordance: it means to “live, to be lively, to be quickened.” A commentary I looked in said it meant to “really live.”

Clearly, “really living” was not what I was doing, but just as clearly it is what God wanted for me.  As I thought and prayed about this, it became clear that one purpose of God’s discipline was to show me what was keeping me from really living, what was keeping me from the rich, positive life He had for me, and every other believer.

A second insight was in the next verse, Heb 12:10  “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness.”

So God’s discipline is wise, it is for our good, and it is to share His holiness with us in some practical way. That’s an astounding thought!  He is in some way seeking to help me to live out His holiness in my life.

“Maybe,” I thought, “in helping me to really live, He’s also pointing out what is keeping me from living out His holiness. In this depression God wants to free me to live in the way He has planned for me.” That made things look very different.

Then came a third insight in Hebrews 12:11, my favorite one, for it showed me that God understood how I felt in this ugly depression. It says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.”  I liked that: God wasn’t unfeeling, unknowing or uncaring, but understood fully what I was experiencing.

The verse went on, “Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

So the Lord had peace for me, something I did not have at the moment.  And it was clear that this peace didn’t come from just experiencing discipline, or just going through it, but from intentionally learning from it.

As I lay in bed that night, I prayed, “OK, Lord, what do I need to learn from this? What is keeping me from really living? What do I need to do to cooperate with you?”

The next two verses that I’d memorized gave me direction on how to move ahead.  Hebrews 12:12-13 say,  “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

“OK, Lord, I will gather up my feeble arms and weak knees, get up and go back to work, trusting You to show me how to proceed.”

The next morning I got out of bed and had to literally pry my eyes open with my fingers, my eyelids were so heavy. I got dressed and trudged out to my father’s tire shop, prepared to return to work, trusting God to show me the next step.

Picture: outside the tire shop at the time of my depression

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Psalm 83

In my morning reading I came to Psalm 83 yesterday and found it very relevant to today’s situation, especially considering some of the legislation being considered. These sections from this Psalm are a good prayer for us.
 
“O God, do not remain silent; do not turn a deaf ear, do not stand aloof, O God. See how your enemies growl, how your foes rear their heads.
 
“With cunning they conspire against your people; they plot against those you cherish. ‘Come,’ they say, ‘let us destroy them as a nation….’
 
“With one mind they plot together; they form an alliance against you—Make them like tumbleweed, my God, like chaff before the wind.
 
As fire consumes the forest or a flame sets the mountains ablaze, so pursue them with your tempest and terrify them with your storm. Cover their faces with shame, LORD, SO THAT THEY WILL SEEK YOUR NAME.
 
“May they ever be ashamed and dismayed…LET THEM KNOW that you, whose name is the LORD— that you alone are the Most High over all the earth.” AMEN
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More from the Ad-on Eskimo

The teacher shared some new truth with Ayit. “You will now need to grow in your faith,” he told Ayit. “It is too bad the Bible is not translated into your language—although I am working on translating a few verses—but while you are here, talk much with Kalowi. He can teach you some passeges out of this book. Spend time with him and learn everything you can.”
 
Kalowi then took Ayit to his home where his wife served them tea.
 
“Knowing God’s Word is very important, Ayit,” he said. “So I am going to help you memorize a very sgnificant passage which will give you guidance in growing in your new faith.
“The passage says, ‘Add to your faith virtue, to your virtue knowledge, to your knowledge self-control, to your self-control endurance, to your endurance godliness, to your godliness brotherly kindness and to your brotherly kindness God’s love.’” (2 Peter 1:5-7)
 
Together they worked on it until Ayit could repeat it perfectly. Being from an oral tradition, it was not hard for him to memorize, especially when helped by an elder whom he trusted.
 
“Come and visit me as often as you can while you are hunting here on Sivukuk. I will be here in the village, just ask for me or come to my house.”
 
“I will,” replied Ayit. “I want to learn all I can about Jesus before I go back to my home in Chaplino. I will come again tomorrow.”
 
“Let me pray for you before you go,” said Kalowi.
He paused, then added, “I also want you to know that those who continue to live in the old way will oppose this New Way. The shamans may even attack you. Your father may be angry and disappointed. But such things do not change the reality of Jesus’ love for you, his death and resurrection, and your new life, your eternal life.”
 
Then Kalowi bowed his head and prayed, “Lord Jesus, I thank you for working in Ayit’s life even before he came here, helping him understand that there is a good creator God—and that is what you are. Help Ayit now to stand firm with you, to meet whatever opposition will come with a knowledge of the truth and a strong commitment to follow you, to walk in endurance. I thank you for how you will help him and protect him from the evil spirits. Amen.”
 
“What is ‘amen’?” asked Ayit.
 
“It is what we say at the end of a prayer, and it means ‘may this happen’.”
 
“Amen,” said Ayit as he got up to leave and rejoin his father. “Pray for me.”
 
“I will, every day,” replied Kalowi.
Picture: hunter with his ducks
No photo description available.

Psalm 31:23-24

 
Psalm 31:23 “Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful,”
[There are an infinite number of reasons to love you, LORD Yahweh! Not the least of which is your faithfulness to your Word, to your promises, to your Character, to your love. We can be sure that whatever you allow into our lives, you have a plan, a purpose and will give provision and carry us through.
Because you are faithful, Lord Jesus, as we walk through the valley of darkness, you preserve, protect and deliver those who are faithful, who trust in you, who walk in awe of you, in obedience to your desires, living in the light of your great and holy presence. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers them” (Ps. 34:7).]
“but the proud he pays back in full.”
[You will act against those who are proud–including against me if I need it. I praise you, Lord Jesus, that as the Good Shepherd you do rebuke us, correct us, chasten us and punish us when needed to get our attention.
Thank you that you will deal with those who, in pride, act against your children, against your Word, against Truth. Help us to reject pride, to be humble before you, not listening to our hearts, but to you.]
Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”
[When our hope is in you, the Time Beginner, the Star-breather, the Dawn-bringer, the History Ender, we can be strong and encouraged, for you, Lord God, are powerful and good and wise and it is your nature to love.
When my heart is down, discouraged and disappointed, I can find my hope in you, the great and glorious God whose power is immeasurable, whose might is eternal, whose strength is unending, whose love guides all you do: “My soul, find rest in God alone, for my hope comes from him” (Ps. 62:5).
To hope in you is wisdom, to trust you is good, to obey you is freedom, to lift our souls to you is joy.
Praise be to you, Lord God for what you will do today in the plans and events before me. I choose to trust you, honor you and worship you. Be glorified in my life today.]
May be an image of 1 person, sitting, dog and indoor

Psalm 31:21-22

 
note: I’m having trouble with my pictures being fuzzy because they are small originals. Sorry about that.
 
Psalm 31:21 “Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city.”
[More than once David was trapped in a city (1 Sam. 23:7-13), but each time, in the midst of David’s danger, you, Lord, defended him, you acted to keep him safe when all seemed lost, when he appeared to have no way out.
So you do with us, when we are trapped by tragedy or loss, difficulty or destruction (such as Barbara’s present depression), negativity and evil, you are there, and you show us your wonderful love by giving us a way out. To paraphrase Psalm 46:5, God is within us, we will not fall, He promises to help us at break of day–that is, after the longest, coldest part of the night.
You are the God of hope, who stands ready to “fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in you so that our lives can overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 15:13). Help us to trust before your help comes.]
Psalm 31:22 “In my alarm I said, ‘I am cut off from your sight!’ Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.”
[What seems to be an impossible situation for us is changed when we remember that you are there, Lord, that you are acting behind the scenes and will do what is best. I think of the times we were threatened with expulsion from the country we were working in, but you heard our cry for mercy, Lord, and kept us there for many years more, in spite of the opposition and the plans of high ranking men.
You always are prepared to act at the right time, and you often give us the privilege of going by faith for a while, believing you when we have no outward evidence, and thereby giving you greater glory before all.
Help us to do that daily, obeying your call to: “Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me” (Ps. 50:14,15).]
May be an image of sky, tree, grass, twilight and nature

Psalm 31:19-20

 
Psalm 31:19 “How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you,”
[“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 1:3).
You, O Lord, know the future and all that will come; you know what is needed for us to stand, and have prepared a rich supply of grace for us. Your one requirement is that we trust you–fear you, stand in awe of you–rather than fear men who speak loudly and destructively.]
“How great is your goodness…which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.”
[As we hide ourselves in you, Lord, you bless us clearly, publicly, visibly. You give grace and peace, you supply our needs, you carry us through difficulties, you protect us from danger (how often have you preserved me in near accidents on the road), you empower us to be more than conquerors rather than just coping.
We can hide in you mainly through thinking the truth of your Word and responding in praise and thanksgiving for what you allow. I give you praise now for your wisdom and goodness as you go before to guide, protect and deliver.]
Psalm 31:20 “In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men; in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues.”
[To others we may appear to be defenseless and totally vulnerable, but in your unseen presence we are sheltered and shielded. Our responsibility is to stay in your presence, in your refuge of truth, in your Word of wisdom: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” (Ps. 91:1).
This means that, in the midst of much pressure, we can trust you, praise you and respond to evil with what we know to be right: forgiving, returning good for hurt, resting in the truth that you are doing good in what appears to be bad.
Then, because you delight in us, in your mighty power you will protect us, work to guide and direct us and bring us out into a spacious place. To you be glory and honor, Lord for your goodness, power and love. Help me to dwell in them, rest in them and rejoice in them.]
May be an image of tree, sky and nature

Psalm 31:17-18

 
This was written a number of years ago, but is even more appropriate now!
 
Psalm 31:17 “Let me not be put to shame, O LORD, for I have cried out to you;”
[You, O Lord, desire honor for us, not shame: “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,” “…my salvation and honor depend on God, my mighty rock and refuge” (Col. 3:12, Ps. 62:7).
So, we can be confident that, as we bow before you and live for you, you will act in your faithfulness, in your goodness, and in your kindness to save us from shame.
Help us to have Jesus’ attitude, “For the joy that was set before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame…” (Heb. 12:2] I praise you now for how you will act in the difficult situations before me to protect me from shame and bring both resolution and honor.]
Psalm 31:17b,18 “but let the wicked be put to shame and lie silent in the grave. Let their lying lips be silenced, for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.”
[There are so many lies and false accusations uttered these days against followers of Jesus–even to the point of calling us terrorists! Doing good is denigrated; committing evil is exalted. I praise you, Lord, that in the midst of this, you are at work and will use the attacks of the enemy to advance your Kingdom.
And I thank you for your guidance on how to respond to these verbal attacks. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and being consumed with anger, frustration and discouragement, you call us to “delight in weaknesses, hardships, INSULTS, persecutions and difficulties, for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10).
 
We can, in humility, in your perspective, shrug off the shame people want to put on us, walking instead in the light of the honor you heap on us as your beloved children.
Praise you, Lord, that these situations are opportunities to give you glory through trust, praise and doing good to those who do evil to us. May we so walk in faith, bringing you great honor before all the unseen hosts.]
May be an image of flower and nature

Post Europe

Post Europe
 
Leaving L’Abri, I hitch-hiked around Europe for a month, visiting some of the people I’d met on the tour . I had some interesting experiences in wild Amsterdam, Scandanavia and driving across rainy Germany in a car without working windshield wipers. Then in mid-December, 1970, I flew back to the States .
 
Right after Christmas I attended Urbana, the large Intervarsity Missions Conference which is held every three years in Illinois.
 
I got a seat on a chartered bus from Hartford and ended up sitting next to a linguistics professor named Ralph Goodell. This “chance meeting” began a lifelong friendship with Ralph and his wife Dinah. They were another gift from God and became wise, gentle mentors to me and my family-to-be, giving a fine balance to the other influences in my life.
 
Urbana itself was a great experience, expanding my vision of the world. I also got to see some of my acquaintances from Europe there, and one of them, a Dutch girl, came back home with me and spent a few days on the farm. Her visit gave my parents a taste of the international friendships the Lord was bringing to me, a foretaste of what was to come.
 
Following my friend’s departure, I was struggling with the thought of being single the rest of my life. One cold, snowy winter evening I went for a long walk up the road. At the crest of a hill, I stopped and prayed, “Lord I give to you my desire to be married; I am willing to be single all of my life if that’s what you want.” I was following my mentor, Dave Shinen’s advice to tell God what I wanted, and be willing to accept the opposite.
 
What came next was a surprise: a sense of fear at the thought of getting married. “So,” I thought, “part of my struggle is my hidden fear about what might happen in marriage. This means I’m also clinging to my singleness.”
 
I turned my thoughts back to God, “Lord, I confess this fear to you and surrender my desire to protect myself by staying single. Whatever you want, marriage or singleness, I will accept.”
 
In this surrender the Lord took me a step further out of my bondage to fear and selfishness. This was another God sighting, bringing me into a greater degree of freedom.
 
Fitting back into life on the farm was not easy after having spent time hunting walrus on the Bering Sea and then hunting theological truths with Dr. Schaeffer.
I began working in Dad’s tire shop again, easing into the familiar, going to church and living with my parents. I continued memorizing and meditating on the Word, digging into Scripture, applying what I was learning.
At the same time, the old familiar shadows of depression came creeping out of the past, gathering around me, pushing me down.
 
That Spring I decided to redo the roof of the old woodshed on my grandfather’s house. I figured to get it done in three or four days, but it took me three weeks. This “failure” to meet my high expectations sent me over the edge into a full-fledged depression.
 
I began sleeping more and more, until eventually I only got up to eat. The other twenty-three hours of the day I spent in bed.
 
In the end, my gentle mother said, “I think there’s something wrong with you. You should go see the doctor.” So I got an appointment with our old family physician who put me in the hospital for tests.
 
After three days he came and sat on the edge of my bed. “Son, looking at these results, I can say that you are physically healthy as a horse. My diagnosis is that your religious ideas don’t line up with everyday life!” He paused, “I’m going to write you a prescription for an anti-depressant. Let’s see how it goes with that.” He handed me the prescription, patted me on the shoulder and left.
 
I was devastated. Here I’d been witnessing to the doctor and he says my depression comes from my spiritual life? Just at that moment the hospital postman came in the door and handed me an envelope. It was a card from Margarite Simpson, my old Sunday School teacher. On the envelope she had written, “Sorry, this is the only card I had in the house.” It had pink and blue sparkle on the cover, just the right of card for a little old lady, not for a twenty-three year old fellow in depression.
 
However, as I opened it, I saw that it was exactly the right card for me. Printed at the bottom of the page was a verse: “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in Him.” Psalm 34:8.
 
I let the card fall into my lap and looked off into the distance. With a sigh I said, “OK, Lord, I am going to trust in you. Show me what to do next.”
 
Picture: the tire shop in our old barn
 
May be an image of outdoors

Psalm 31:15-16

Psalm 31:15 “My times are in your hands;”
[A strong declaration of God’s great powers, of His sovereignty at work–and of our weakness. We cannot control our times, our lives or the events that come into them, but God actively, intimately and lovingly works to bring to us what is best for us–both in the big picture and in the tiny details. This is a further reason to trust Him fully through praise before any answer to our cry comes.
As it says in Psalm 33:18-20 “…the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.”]
Psalm 31:15b-16, “deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.”
[David unwaveringly looks to the right place, to the right One for help, and for the right reason: God’s unfailing love. He is confident that God is going to answer. As David said in Psalm 27:13-14 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”
[And David consistently saw God’s protection and provision. He was in dozens, if not hundreds of battles, with no mention of ever being wounded. And he died of old age in his bed, having seen God’s deliverance all through his life.
Praise you, Lord God, that no matter how bad things appear, you are going to bring positive and constructive happenings out of them as we join you in faith.
I give thanks, Lord God, for your care and protection, your grace-filled help in each difficulty, and for your allowing challenges into our lives to deepen, mature and equip us.
Help us to keep our eyes on you this day. I bow before you, O Lord God, wanting to give you the honor due your Name by offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving in all.]
May be an image of 1 person, sitting and indoor