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Sonshine

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 11, 2020
An excerpt from Edified! written in 2011 while we were living in Germany
 
“I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalm 18:1,2
 
What a challenge this weather is here in Germany: cold, cloudy and continual rain for weeks—although the calendar says it August, it’s more like November! It would be easy to complain and gripe, as most here do, but when we have Sonshine inside, it is not so important to have sunshine outside.
 
The more we are tied to Jesus, the more healthily independent we are of the weather, of circumstances, of our surroundings—for we then live in the unseen, which is higher, more real and more powerful than what we can see and touch.
 
Praise you, Lord Jesus, for your reality, for your strong true presence in our lives. Praise you that we have the assurance of your protection, your purpose, your power at work before us, in us, around us, over us, through us.
 
You are the Rock in our lives, never shifting, never changing, never shaking. You are our Salvation: from sin, from ourselves, from harm, from evil, from fears, from frivolity, from negatives, from human thinking, from complaining, from idol worship, from laziness, overwork, burn out, selfishness, pride, manipulation and greed–to name a few.
 
You are the mighty Tower: strong and sure, standing high over the dangers and demons of this world. You are our ever-effective Refuge and Redeemer. As our high Tower, it is as if you lift us up, set us on your shoulder, make us safe, give us a wider view, bring us understanding, hold us near your heart, and give us wisdom and advice.
 
When we look to you and truly see you in your beauty and glory, your greatness and goodness, we are dizzy with delight, for you are beyond what we could possibly have thought up in our limited imaginations.
 
We tend to think of you in human terms, which are far below what you really are. Where we imagined tinsel, you are like titanium; where we imagined plastic you are like the pure power of steel; where we imagined smallness you are immense; where we imagined earning righteousness, you give grace; where we imagined ourselves somewhat good, only you are perfectly pure; where we imagined you like us, you are completely other: holy, sinless, entirely good, perfectly balanced, immensely powerful, totally independent, full of contra-conditional love, ready to forgive and plenteous in mercy to all who call upon you. You are a wonder, you are wonderful, you are fully worthy of our worship.
 
Prayer: “Glory be to you, Lord Jesus, my God and King, for you are worthy of all my wonder and worship! Help me to follow you into the freedom you have prepared for your children. Amen.”
 
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Grumbling

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 11, 2020
“All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, ‘If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert!’”
Numbers 14:2
 
A dragon’s egg hatched in my heart. I was unaware of this, as the egg was hidden under the bush of busyness, the one with the broad leaves of distraction. Even after the event, not much grabbed my attention, for newly hatched dragons are small, unable to do much. I think it spent much of its time munching on the plants of discontent and selfishness.
 
However, as time went on and the little dragon grew, it began to dig around and do some damage in my heart and in my life. Things began “innocently” with my becoming more and more intent on seeing justice done both for me and in the world around me. The biased, negative reports in the news were more irritating; everyday difficulties in life bothered me more; problems with the banking system I used brought out more and more negative thoughts and words. I was becoming a whiner!
 
Finally, Someone pulled back the leaves and revealed the dragon there among the bushes of my heart and I saw its name written between its’ eyes: “Grumbling.” This is a destructive dragon, a serious sin, one that angered God in the lives of the Israelites and led them into deep trouble. In fact, it is the significant second step away from God in the downward spiral of sin described in Romans 1:21, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him…” I was grumbling instead of giving thanks.
 
Fortunately, this dragon was still small and I was able to seize it by the neck, bring it, scratching and biting before the Lord and with the knife of confession dispatch it on the altar of Truth and surrender.
 
This was followed by a willful commitment to think in faith and to act in praise, thereby repairing the damage done to my heart by the habit of grumbling.
 
Every time thoughts of the many unjust, distressing and evil things happening out there in the world came to mind, I now chose to remember that our Loving God is at work. I choose to be a worshiper. He is using the evil of man and Satan to advance the cause of His Kingdom, to prepare hearts to believe, to strengthen and mature believers. We can trust Him in this turmoil and replace grumbling with grace, leading to praise and prayer.
 
I am not talking about “Pollyanna” type of thinking here, but about using faith to see the larger picture and joining God in His plan through intercession. This is expressed in the Ephesians 3 prayer of Paul: “I pray that out of his glorious riches God will strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith.” This refers to God empowering our faith, so we go from being people of feeble faith to people of full faith.
 
Grumbling certainly works against this, keeping us focused on the temporal and visible. Faith, in contrast, focuses on the eternal, on the invisible and powerful Truths that set us free, such as knowing that God works all things together for good (Rom. 8:28) and that when we seem the weakest, then we are actually the strongest (2Cor. 12:9-10). This is where I want to go and live for the rest of my life!
 
Prayer: “Lord, help me to listen to myself talk and be aware of what predominates: grumbling and complaining or praise and thanksgiving. Help me to daily slay the dragon of grumbling with confession and repentance. Help me to reject being a whiner and to instead be a worshiper. Help me to walk in the light of Truth and Freedom, to live in the Joy and Faith you have given us, so I might be more and more useful to you. Amen.”
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Psalm 22:25

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 9, 2020
Psalm 22:25 “From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows.”
[You, O Lord, are the praiseworthy One, the great Shepherd, our good God, our kind King, the One to be obeyed no matter what. You are the ultimate in Leadership, the true and only God. “For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?” (Psa. 18:31).
I thank you, Lord Jesus, for the privilege and wonder of memorizing and meditating on your Word, so I can go over it as I lay in bed or walk or drive, soaking in the richness of truth, the beauty of your mind, the power of your perspective.
You are great and gracious and good; I thank you for your wonderful love and care, for your guidance and direction.
“The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from my enemies (Psa. 18:2-3).
I praise you for your marvelous Character: pristine, pure, perfect, powerful, prolific, the paragon of all positives. You are worthy of worship no matter what my circumstances. You are the God of goodness, who is great in glory and the Giver of all grace. “I will love you, O LORD, my strength” (Psa. 18:1).
May you rule in my life today, may I walk in paths of righteousness, responding to the leading of your Spirit as He uses the Word in me. May you be exalted by my motives, honored with my responses and gratified with my obedience. May your name be lifted up before all those around.]
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High School

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 8, 2020
Chapter 4 Off To Griswold High
 
It was a sunny September afternoon in my freshman year. It was also the first day of high school cross-country practice. I stood with a small group of boys, waiting for the coach to show up. We were all dressed in white gym shorts, tee shirts and dime store sneakers.
 
When Coach Miles arrived, he looked us over and said, “Okay boys, today I want you to run the course. Harry knows the way, just follow him.”
 
We set off at a quick jog, angling off the football field into the woods where the trail dropped down to the riverbank and ran along the water’s edge.
 
The sun shone through the breaks in the trees, dappling the ground and the runners. It was much like the times I went running up on the hill to round up the cows. I had always enjoyed searching for them at a run, which both got me in good shape and eventually made me decide to go out for cross-country. Faster was always better.
I found the pace very easy and ran right behind Harry, silently encouraging him to go faster. When we came out of the woods we were a mile below the school and looped around to run through the fields back to where Mr. Miles was waiting.
As we stood around panting, I asked, “What’s next?” and was startled when everyone laughed.
“What do you mean, ‘what’s next?’ ” asked Harry. “Wasn’t that enough of a workout for one day?”
I didn’t reply; the redness in my face wasn’t there just from the workout. Again I felt like a fool.
 
The quiet munching of the cows filled the barn. I lay on some hay in the manger, looking intently at my Latin book. Latin was especially difficult and required extra work if I was going to be prepared for the next day.
 
This was one subject that I wanted to do well in, so worked hard at it. I had no idea that this was part of God’s preparing me for the future nor did I know what a huge role these Latin lessons would play when I began learning other languages I would learn to speak fluently. The concept of cases and adding endings are not taught in English grammar, but were the essence of Latin as well as the other languages I would learn.
 
Suddenly my book was pushed aside by a cow trying to get some hay out from under me. I laughed and patted her affectionately on the head.
“Well,” I said to myself, “I guess that’s enough Latin for tonight.” I got up and made one last check on the cows before going home to bed.
 
The persistent ring of the alarm clock penetrated my consciousness and I opened my eyes to look at the clock. It was 4:30 am. I rolled out of bed and began dressing. This was the spring of my sixteenth year, and I had full responsibility for the livestock left on the farm.
 
I went out into the dark, the air damp and chill. The cows were in the orchard behind the barn where it was so dark that I could only see them by looking out of the corner of my one good eye.
They, however, saw me coming and willingly went to the barn and into their stanchions. I gave them some grain, washed off their udders and began milking.
Several cats gathered around hoping for some of the milk. I squirted a stream in the air towards them and laughed as the “mama cat” deftly caught most it. “The rest of you have to wait until I’m finished milking,” I said. After finishing each cow I’d pour a bit of milk in the cats’ pan.
I was done by 6:30 and after turning the cows back out into the orchard went to the house. First I took a bath—I couldn’t go to school with that stable smell on me! Then I did my Bible reading and joined my siblings at breakfast.
The bus came at 8:15 and we wanted to be at the bus stop on time. Running up the driveway to catch the bus was not “cool.”
 
“OK,” shouted the coach, “enough for today, hit the showers.” As we ran into the locker room, I went into a bathroom stall and punched the door with my fist, leaving the marks of my knuckles in the metal. We’d lost the basketball game again! It was only a gym class game, but I hated losing!
My insecurities were looming larger now and fueling my inner anger, which popped out everywhere. The week before when one of my cows was being stubborn, I had punched her between the eyes and made her stagger. I knew these surges of anger were not a good thing.
 
 
“Bring the ax here,” said Dad as he held a chicken under his arm. I handed the ax to him and then stood back while he carefully chopped the chicken’s head off. He handed the bird to Mom who dipped it into a pail of hot water and then began pulling the feathers off.
“Hand me another chicken,” Dad ordered. I obeyed, as always. The ax swung and the bird was headless, but still struggling. It slipped from Dad’s grasp and ran to one side of the stall, bumped the wall and ran back before dropping at our feet.
Twenty birds later I said, “Hey, it’s almost 10:30! Time to get cleaned up so we can go for my driver’s test!” I had stayed home from school on this long-awaited day when I would hopefully pass the test and get my driver’s license.
“Ok,” said Dad. “We’re about done here anyway.” He set his ax down and picked up a tray piled high with the now featherless birds. “I’ll take these to the kitchen and your mother can clean them while we’re gone.”
 
We arrived at the State Motor Vehicle Department in good time and made our way to the licensing section. First the inspector gave me an eye test. It was a wonder that my being blind in one eye didn’t faze him; this was a gift from God.
 
Then he took me out to the car. I got in confidently. Since the age of six I’d been driving tractors on the road, pulling big harvesting machines behind me, and I’d been driving trucks for the last six years. Driving a car in small town traffic was a snap.
 
However, when we returned from the test drive, the inspector shook his head. “I really shouldn’t give a license to you,” he said. “You are too sure of yourself and are going to have an accident!”
 
My heart sank; I was going to fail because I was too good a driver!
 
After a pause the inspector continued, “But, because you are technically competent, I’ll give you your license, but only on the condition that you make sure to drive carefully! Don’t be too cocky!”
 
I was quick to agree to his condition and admonition. That afternoon I was able to proudly drive the blue Studebaker station wagon to high school and pick up my siblings.
 
My sixteenth year also brought me another kind of license, one to doubt. I had been thinking a lot about church, the Bible and God. I had become aware that many of the people around me who claimed to be Christians were, as far as I could see, not living out what they said they believed.
 
One day while riding home on the school bus, I stared out the window thinking about these things. Just as the bus began going down the big hill before the farm I said to myself, “Christianity is the best theory there ever was, but I’m not going to trust my life to a theory!”
 
This decision did not change my lifestyle, or my belief in God. My daily Bible readings continued and I sought to live as a good person. But there was an increasing uncertainty about things, one which would lead me to look for answers in other places.
 
It was the Spring of my junior year. The runners came around the last bend of the track, all in a bunch, the mile run almost over. I tried to get my aching legs to go faster, opening up a short distance on my closest rival, but in the last ten yards blackness closed in and I fell, sliding on the cinder track.
I knew inside that I didn’t really have to fall, I could have pressed on even without full sight, but it made a dramatic finish, and I knew others would feel sorry for me. I was struggling regularly with the lengthening shadows of depression, and I sought to escape them in any way I could. Getting attention from others drove away the darkness for a while.
 
Picture: Track practice wearing cut off jeans, cool but not very practical. The lack of flexibility resulted in me losing more than one race!
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Psalm 22:22-23

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 7, 2020
 
Psalm 22:22 “I will declare your name to my brothers; in the congregation I will praise you.”
[You, Heavenly Father, are the prayer-answering, soul-saving, wisdom-giving, infinitely powerful, all-good God, worthy of praise. You are Yahweh, Elohim and Adonai, the God of perfect character, marvelous wisdom, rich love, unending righteousness and immeasurable power. Yes, before all I will declare your name and praise you!]
Psalm 22:23 “You who fear the LORD, praise him!”
[To fear the Lord is to stand in awe of His power and greatness, His hatred of sin and love of righteousness; it is to care deeply what He thinks about things, and therefore obey Him wholeheartedly and fully.]
“All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!”
[To honor and revere you with enthusiasm and joy, Lord God, are the responses of those who spend time in worship and in your Word. They can see your beautiful and majestic Character, the eternal, Triune Ruler and Perfect One.]
Psalm 22:24 “For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;
[You, Father, planned Jesus’ suffering, knowing that it was necessary for Him to be the perfect Savior: “Because [Jesus] himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Heb. 18).
Jesus “endured the cross, despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of God” (Heb. 12:4). You valued His suffering because you knew it was necessary; Jesus was able to reject the shame of his suffering because He looked forward to what it would do in saving many and giving His Father glory.
You are also aware of the suffering of your children, ever giving us the grace needed to move through persecution and problems with power to become more like Christ. Help us to not despise or disdain the suffering you allow into our lives, but to look beyond it in joy to what it will accomplish in our lives and to the honor it will bring to you as we respond in faith.]
“he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”
[You came in at the right time and rescued Jesus, not from the cross, but from the grave. You are the absolutely reliable One, as we see in your repeatedly helping David when he called out to you, “This poor man cried and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles” (Ps. 34:6).
And you do the same in our lives when we flee to you for help: “The angel of the Lord encamps round about those who fear him and delivers them” (Psalm 34:7).
As David so confidently states in Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Help us to consistently run to you, Lord, for refuge in each situation, to fear you, not men, to trust you, not ourselves.]
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Friday

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 6, 2020
At the end of our 2nd electric-less day. An on-going adventure with Jesus. My neighbor is letting me plug into his internet making it possible to do this posting.
 
Here is my posting for Friday
 
Praise you, dear Lord God, that in your gracious goodness, you unfailingly guide and direct, provide for and protect us. Praise you for the completeness of your character, the perfection of your personality, the graciousness of your goodness, and the firmness of your faithfulness.
Thank you that you lead us through difficulties, darkness and disappointments, using each to chasten, mature, deepen and develop us. You are wise beyond words, knowing exactly what is right, always doing what is best, and working out what is wonderful, no matter how it may appear to us.
I praise you, Lord, that whatever comes today, I can thank you for it. Confidence in you is never misplaced, praise is always appropriate, trust is always right.
To you now I lift my heart and soul in praise, for you are worthy of it in your perfect power, wonderful wisdom, lavish love, great goodness and flawless faith, in your strong sternness and touching tenderness. Every quality needed is there in the exact amount and in perfect balance: mercy triumphs over justice, forgiveness conquers condemnation, love covers a multitude of sins.
You are our marvelous Master, our good God, faithful Father, loving Lord, and supreme Shepherd. You are far better than any god we could make up: in our flawed thinking, anything we could produce would also be faulty, like the Greeks’ human-like sinful gods.
Thankfully you are completely different, far beyond any human conception: perfect and eternal, wise and good. You are light, love and life yourself. Your essence is totally other than that of your creation—both uncorrupted and incorruptible–and for that we are thankful.
Praise be to you forever and ever. Your faithfulness is the reason we can praise you before anything comes to pass, for you are fully sovereign, completely good and totally powerful, easily able to allow or prevent whatever you desire. It is a certainty that you will bring to us what is right and best.
Praise you for our weakness in the events before us now, and for the strength you will use for good in our lives. We give you glory, honor and praise now for what you will do today, tomorrow, next year and forever. You are Lord, you are God, you are worthy. Amen.
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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Christian, Part 2

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 5, 2020
Greetings. After the big wind storm yesterday our electricity and internet are out and will be off for at least 5 days we are told. Therefore I was unable to post this morning. This post will be for Thursday. life is exciting!
 
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Christian, Part 2
A continuation of how one man keeps on and uses the armor of Ephesians 6:10-18
On the way home from work Walter sat quietly on the train looking out the window, polishing his sword by meditating on the passage he’d been memorizing. A billboard swept into view, featuring a semi-clad girl. Although Walter quickly looked away, he’d already been hit with a dart of lust and was taken down.
He immediately sprang up and pulled the dart out with confession: “Look at what I just thought, Lord. I agree with you that it is totally selfish, destructive, and caustic to my soul. It is pleasing to Satan and grievous to you. I repent and ask your forgiveness, especially for grieving you, you who love me so much.”
Then he went on the offensive and in the powerful name of Jesus withdrew any ground he’d given to the enemy in this attack, asking God to fill him again with the Spirit.
Just in case any more such attacks came on the way home, he kept his shield of faith up by thanking God for all that had happened during the day–and he decided not to stare out the window any more.
When he came in the door at home, the kids were arguing and his exasperated wife welcomed him with, “Well, I’m glad you’re finally home. See if you can do something with these three fighters!”
Walter skillfully got his shield up as the dart of anger flew at him, followed by one of self-justification. “I was hoping for a better reception and some peaceful interaction, Lord–but I thank you for the chance to fulfill the role you have for me in serving and protecting my wife, and of helping my 3 boys learn to follow you!” Both darts hit the shield and were extinguished.
But then the dragon of selfishness took a swipe at him and almost knocked the shield out of Walter’s hand. He quickly came around with his sword, “I praise you, Lord, that I can keep my eyes on you; I confess my desire to do my own thing here and have some ‘well deserved relaxation’ before supper, but as your disciple I’m called to deny myself, take up my cross and follow you. I thank you for the chance to obey you in this moment.” This sent the dragon squealing in retreat.
Walter strode to the kids and scooped two of them up in his arms. “Hi Dad,” they shouted. “Can we go to the park for a while before supper?”
“Sure!” Walter replied. “Get you shoes and coats on.”
The three little bodies scurried to the hall while Walter went to the kitchen and gave his wife a hug. “Hard day, huh?”
“Sure was! I wish I had a quiet and easy life like yours!”
Walter smiled as he deftly raised up his shield with his left hand to quench the flaming arrow of competitiveness, wanting to tell her how hard his day had been. Resting his right hand on his sword, he thought, “If you only knew!” He kissed his wife gently and turned to take the kids to the park.
 
For more information on using the armor, see the book Equipped!, available on Amazon.
 
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(Untitled)

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 4, 2020

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Christian, Part 1 The story of how one man keeps on and uses the armor of Ephesians 6:10-18

Walter ran up the last few steps and walked swiftly to the door. He didn’t want to be late for work and unnecessarily bring any negative attention to himself from the boss.

Suddenly he stopped. “Wait! I don’t have my helmet of salvation on! I’m looking for security from others and their opinions, not God.” He put on the helmet with a quick prayer, “Lord I confess I’m walking in the fear of men and repent! Help me to rest in you and your approval.”

He took a deep breath, opened the door and entered the office. Sure enough, there was the boss waiting for him; but instead of dread or a sinking feeling, Walter now had his helmet on and rested in the truth of who he was–a Child of God, a Prince whose real work was joining God in His great plans.

“Ah, Walter,” said the boss, towering over his diminutive employee. “How’s it going with the coding on that new project? It’s really important that we make our deadline on this one!”

Walter calmly adjusted his glasses and blinked up at his boss. “It’s going well. In fact, I’m ahead of schedule and have the whole thing mapped out. I should be done by the end of the week.”

“Great!” replied his boss, smiling. “Keep up the good work.” Walter nodded and headed to his cubical where he hung his coat over his chair and got down to work.

Walter was well into his coding when something caught his attention. At first, he thought maybe he’d imagined it, but no, there it was again: a movement in the back of his mind. He reached for his sword and shield and swung around just in time to face his foe, the dragon of jealousy.

The hot flames of the dragon’s breath swept over him, reminding him of how he’d been passed over for that promotion he’d wanted and a less experienced guy had gotten it–but Walter kept up his shield, offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving, warding off the flames, “Thank you, Lord, that I didn’t get that promotion because you have something better for me; thank you for your care and protection in all.”

He brought his sword up, slashing with skill at the dragon’s vulnerable areas: “You, Lord, are sovereign, and if getting that promotion had been good for me, you would have given it. I can praise you for not allowing me to have it, for your Word says, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.’”

The dragon drew back and stumbled off into the brush. Walter leaned on his sword, panting. He wiped the soot from the dragon’s flames off his face, reminding himself, “My soul finds rest in God alone. He only is my rock and my salvation.”

Then he heard a twang and whirled around, raising his shield in one smooth motion, intercepting the flaming arrow of self-pity. “Thank you, Lord, that you cause my cup to overflow, and lead me in paths of righteousness; I thank you for what you give and what you withhold, for you are good and wise and loving. I can trust you in this situation.” The arrow thunked into his shield and sizzled out.

Walter waited for another attack, but when nothing stirred, he went back to his coding, glad that he’d kept his armor on with his sword and shield handy.

The rest of the morning went well, but later in the afternoon, there came another sneak attack. Things weren’t progressing as fast as he’d planned, with some unforeseen glitches arising that he’d have to solve.

He was somewhat unhappy with himself for not anticipating these problems. As a result, his breastplate was hanging awry and he didn’t get his shield up in time, so a flaming arrow of worry was able to strike him in his chest. He immediately felt the poison of anxiety begin to seep into his heart.

He reached up and pulled out the arrow with the glove of confession and threw it down. “Lord, forgive me for not trusting you; you promise to lead me through whatever comes, even if it’s the valley of the shadow of death–so I can trust you to help me work out these issues. As it says in Psalm 86:7, ‘I will call upon you in the day of my trouble, for you will answer me.’ I praise you now for how you will guide in overcoming these obstacles in my work.”

Stamping out the still smoldering arrow with his shoes of peace, Walter put some truth-salve from Psalm 62:5 on his wound “My soul, find rest in God alone, for my hope comes from Him. He only is my rock, my salvation and my high tower. I will never be shaken.” That quickly lessened the pain and he was able to think clearly again and get back to his work.

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Psalm 22:19

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 2, 2020
Psalm 22:19 “But you, O LORD, be not far off;”
[You, Heavenly Father, only turned away from Jesus as long as was necessary; when His suffering was complete, you turned back and raised Him from the dead, gloriously defeating all your foes.
And because you, Lord Jesus, were willing to be abandoned on the cross while becoming sin for us, you can say to us, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Heb. 13;5 ESV). Praise be to you, Lord God, that you are always near, always ready to help in grace, wisdom and power.]
“O my Strength, come quickly to help me.”
[You, Heavenly Father came with strength and help, defeating death by raising Christ. And you are my strength, Lord Jesus, the Source of all good, the Provider of powerful protection, my righteous rock and faithful fortress.
Praise you that you give us help at the right time and in the right way. And praise you that while waiting, we can be worshiping, trusting and thanking you before any answer comes–because you, Lord, are gloriously faithful!]
Psalm 22:20, 21“Deliver my life from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs. Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen.”
[You did just that for Jesus, and for us. Praise you that whatever form the enemy’s attacks take, you, Lord, can and will deliver us in your time and way. No one and nothing is strong enough to overcome you.
You let through only the attacks that you will use for good in our lives, for strengthening our faith, for putting to death our wrong desires, our natural responses and selfish goals, while giving us a platform for sharing with others about you.
You are the perfect coach, putting us through the experiences that will equip, mature, prepare and train us for righteousness and faith.
Praise be to you, the Most High, King of Kings, Lord of Love, God of Goodness, Savior of sinners. Before you I now bow down in surrender. Help me to rise up to live in trust, obedience, praise and thanksgiving throughout today. Amen.
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Loss and struggle

Published by S.M. Wibberley on August 1, 2020
In my thirteenth year I was awakened in the night by someone crying. I strained to hear the words.
 
“How could he leave me? What will I do now?” the wailing voice asked.
 
I realized it was my grandmother who lived next door on the farm. My mother soothed her, “We are here, we’ll take care of you,” she said gently.
 
“Grandpa has died,” I thought. He hadn’t been well the last weeks. “I’ll have to get up and milk the cows in the morning,” I thought. I looked at the luminous dial of my Timex alarm clock; it was 3 am. I set the clock for 5:30 and tried to get some sleep before it went off.
 
My father found me in the barn, sitting between the cows, directing strong, even squirts of milk into the pail. The seven cows, the only ones left from Grandpa’s large herd of Guernsey cattle, stood patiently waiting, chewing their cuds and listening to the radio.
 
“Here you are,” said Dad. “How did you know to come and get started on chores?”
 
“I heard Grandma crying in the night and figured out what had happened. Someone had to milk the cows, and so I came.”
Dad smiled wanly; the sudden shock of his father’s unexpected death was clear on his face. Within a few days his hair would turn from deep brown to pale gray.
 
“Ok, I’ll milk a couple of them for you,” he said. We each sat silently beside a cow, listening to the streams of milk pinging on the sides of the pails, drawing comfort from the familiar.
After my grandfather died, I took his place in running the farm. This meant that along with doing the milking, I now also had to do the mowing, raking and baling of hay in the summer. I’d never mowed before, but had watched Dad and Grandpa do it, so I just followed their example, and it went well.
 
The mowing machine had a cutter bar that stuck out six feet beyond the tractor tire. When mowing along the edge of the field or around rocks and fence posts, I had to judge how far things were from the end of the bar, not an easy task even for someone with normal sight–and more so for me with one blind eye.
However, with practice, I developed a better sense of depth perception than a person with two good eyes. If the bar were going to hit an obstacle, I would get a feeling in the pit of my stomach and could avoid the object. One friend called this my “navel intelligence.”
 
This new method of compensating for my lack of depth perception served me well in all the driving I did, and made parallel parking a snap. This was another preparation from God. He knew that I would later live in crowded cities and have to daily maneuver into tight parking spots.
 
In my fourteenth year there was another series of special meetings at church. The evangelist spoke convincingly, calling people forward to commit their lives to Christ. I hesitated, thinking of my prayer when I was nine. Wasn’t that enough? Suppose it wasn’t?
 
I struggled with the uncertainty of my spiritual condition and the fear of what people would think about me if I went forward.
Then in a surge of resolve fueled by my uncertainty, I got up and went down to the front. I prayed again and asked Jesus to come into my heart and save me.
 
I hoped that this time I’d done it right. And it seemed to have an effect, as this decision led to a stronger motive to live for Christ, praying more and struggling more whole-heartedly to have clean thoughts. I wanted to be as good a believer as I could.
 
I was happier being wholehearted, but there were always those dark shadows in the prison of my soul, areas where I couldn’t control myself, where evil and scary thoughts would rise to the surface, where uncontrollable anger lurked.
 
I tried to push these shadows down and out of my mind, but they just slipped below the surface, like sinister serpents waiting for the next opportunity to come up and coil about me.

Picture: About 1959. Front row: Marcia, Sam, Les;  back row, Steve and Andrea.

 
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