Uncategorized

Uncategorized

Heartfelt advice

Two years after Barbara’s fall down the stairs, we went on vacation in late September. Barbara first went to a women’s conference while I took a business trip to a city on the coast.
After my business was completed, I drove to the conference site and picked up Barbara before heading down to the Mediterranean Sea. This was our favorite time to be at the beach; it was not too hot, the beaches were empty and the water was warm.
 
We were both pretty tired and looked forward to a quiet time at the beach: reading, swimming, walking and resting. And we did have a very relaxing, refreshing time.
 
However, when we arrived back home, I was just as tired as before I went, and I was having those chest pains again. As the days passed, the pains got worse.
 
A friend’s father had just had two stents put into his heart so he recommended his cardiologist to me. I got an appointment for the next evening. By that time my chest pain was strong enough so that I was constantly bending over, pressing my left arm against my chest. The doctor, however, didn’t seem too concerned about my pain. He just looked over the test results I’d brought him, and said he wanted to repeat the tests in a lab in his building.
 
His lack of concern for the pain I was experiencing and his merely ordering more of the same tests to be done by his neighbor’s lab didn’t sound too professional to me. I took the prescription for the tests and left.
 
When I got home, I gave my test reports back to Barbara to file away, but before doing so she glanced through them.
“Did you realize that in the report from the cardiologist in the US that he listed your occupation as ‘gospel worker?’” she asked.
 
“No!” I said. Hmmm, that was not good. Gospel workers are viewed as enemies here. I didn’t know this doctor’s religious views, but it would be easy for him to let me die under the knife if he were conservative in beliefs.
 
This was not an unfounded thought. We’d had a friend who was left to die by a doctor, but because she was a nurse, she knew what was happening and got help. So it was not all that far-fetched to consider the idea of being “done in” by a doctor.
 
The next day I went to the little hospital in our neighborhood where Barbara had received such good care after her fall, and had the tests done there. I’d also once before visited the cardiologist there and had really liked him.
 
While I was waiting to have my blood drawn, the cardiologist’s nurse saw me and asked what was up. I told her about my pain. She patted me on the arm and said in her motherly way, “When you pick up the results to these tests, you bring them right over to Dr. Real and let him look at them.”
 
So that afternoon after picking up the results, I went to see Dr. Real. I just knocked on his door and he took me in. He read the test results and immediately sent me with his nurse to do a stress test.
 
He looked carefully at the printout from that test, then called me over. “Look here,” he pointed to the EKG results, “see how this dips below the line? That can indicate a blockage. And your irregular pulse also points to that. There’s only one way to find out for sure what’s happening in your heart and that’s by doing an angiogram, taking a direct look inside. I can do one later this afternoon if you’d like.”
 
That’s one thing I really like about the medical system in in this counry. If you are a private patient, you can get things done right away rather waiting weeks for an appointment.
 
“Well, my son is getting engaged tonight, and I don’t want to miss that. How about if we do it tomorrow?”
“Ok, here’s the address of the hospital. Be there at 2 pm tomorrow.”
 
Barbara and I walked to “Hope Hospital,” a privately run institution and arrived at the appointed time. The admitting doctor was aghast that we’d walked there in my condition, since it was a steep uphill walk all the way.
 
I was taken to a room for “prep”, which included shaving my leg where they would make incision in an artery before inserting a wire to run up into my heart. There would be dye released directly into the heart, which would be watched on a continual x-ray to see if it indicated any blockage.
 
I was a bit apprehensive because when my father had had one of his angiograms, his heart had stopped and it took a number of tries before the doctor could restart it. However, my confidence was in the Lord here, and I could lay aside my doubts. I also knew that Dr. Real was very competent and not very religious.
 
When I was wheeled into the operating room, Dr. Real greeted me warmly. He worked swiftly, finishing the procedure in a few minutes and I didn’t feel a thing.
 
When it was over he said, “Well, Mr. Stephen, I have bad news. The most important artery in your heart is clogged 95%. You could have a heart attack at any time, and it would be fatal.
 
“In addition, the blockage is right at a fork to another important artery. We can’t put in a stent because it might block the flow of blood to the secondary artery and that, too, could cause a heart attack.”
 
“So, what does that mean?” I asked.
 
“It means that you need open heart surgery for a double bypass. And you need it soon.”
 
“So when can you do it?”
 
“I don’t do open heart surgery, but it is done here in this hospital and they can do it tomorrow, if you are willing.”
That certainly put the pressure on for a decision. “OK, let me talk to my wife and we’ll make a decision,” I said.
 
The orderly wheeled me back to my room where Barbara was waiting and I gave her the news. While we were discussing options, two surgeons came in to talk with us about the possible operation. They were reassuring and answered all our questions, including, “How much will it cost?”
 
“What do you think it will cost?” asked one doctor.
 
“I would guess about 20,000 Turkish lira,” I said.
 
“That’s close. It will be about 25,000,” he said. “That is about $17,000.”
 
Well, I certainly was in no position to bargain about cost, lying there with my leg bandaged up and a big sandbag putting pressure on the incision.
 
Besides, I knew that this was a great price. In America such an operation would cost much more than that. A friend had recently had two stents put in spending only one night in the hospital and it had cost $45,000!
 
The next morning I was prepped further, including shaving off my beard so the oxygen mask would fit firmly around my mouth during the operation.
 
A group of friends came to “see me off,” and I gave them the victory sign as I was wheeled into the operating room.
 
I thought, “This is really a great win/win situation. If I die, I go to be with the Lord; if I live, I get to stay with my wife!” I felt perfectly at peace, not a trace of fear, and was thankful that the Lord had strengthened my faith to the point that I could face possible death without a twinge.
Picture: resting with a bad heart and friendly cat
Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and indoor

Face to Faith

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
 
Praise you, Lord God, for you bless your children with your continual presence. Today I feel far from you, without much positive emotion and for this I thank you—it is an opportunity to live by faith, believing that you are with me whether I feel it or no, to trust your Word, to live by Truth, not sight or sense.
 
You, O Lord, have proclaimed yourself as the God who saves us—you are there, despite all the negatives. And in the midst of our woes, you are at work, guiding, protecting, carrying and teaching. You are giving faith-opportunities to offer the sacrifice of praise—like an unwanted snowstorm–times when there is no visible reason to trust you, but giving us plenty of reasons from your Word to rejoice in you.
 
Thank you that our feelings are not the measure of fact, that although our view is so limited, we can know that yours is high and wide, full and complete, total and eternal. We can trust you to act in power and wisdom out of your understanding.
 
Lord God, as I grasp more and more of your greatness, goodness and grace, I love you more and more. You have made us as responders to your great love, which the Holy Spirit has poured out into our hearts. We are deeply thankful for your mighty, undeserved, ever-flowing love that comes out of your very essence: you are Love itself.
 
In the light of this truth, with your grace, Lord, I want to reject the cultural perception (and feeling) that since you are good, you will protect me from all that is uncomfortable. Instead I want to praise you for the discomfort and difficulties you allow and send. These events give us platforms to practice and demonstrate the response of faith as we give the sacrifice of thanksgiving, opening the way so you can show us the salvation of the Lord! (Ps. 50:23)
 
Prayer: “Help me, Lord to reject feelings of insecurity and instead to think Truth, that whatever you allow is part of your plan to bring good, to bring growth to us and glory to yourself. Help me to praise you in and for the difficulties that come. May you be glorified in my life today. Amen.”
 
Image may contain: snow, tree, plant, sky, outdoor and nature

Psalm 9:15-16

 
Psalm 9:15 “The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug; their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.”
 
[Praise you for your faithfulness to judge in righteousness, Lord, for evil without justice brings hopelessness. Therefore you bring upon evil doers what they have prepared for others. At the top of the list is Satan himself, who has been judged and will end up in the lake of fire where he has sought to send so many others.
 
I think of the destruction that came on Germany and Japan after WWII for the cruel and oppressive regimes that ruled there. I think of how the dictators ruling in Egypt, Libya and Tunisia were taken down in the Arab Spring. In the end, evil doers are consumed by their own plans.
 
Praise be to you, Lord, that you bring justice at the right time: “Fret not yourself because of the man who prospers in his way…for evil men shall be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord shall inherit the land.” (Ps. 37:7,9)]
 
Psalm 9:16 “The LORD is known by his justice; the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands.”
 
[Your justice, O Lord, is strong and broad, sure and right, certain and consistent. You are as faithful as the rainbow in this picture.You will bring judgment on all who, in their evil independence, refuse the refuge of your love and forgiveness. This actually is the most wicked thing we can do, to reject the salvation Jesus provided at such great cost.
 
Praise you, Lord God, that your character is the measure of all. You are all we truly seek: Great Good, Perfect Peace, Total Truth, Wholly Holiness and Lavish Love. To you belongs exaltation, glory, praise and honor. To you I now bow in worship, for you I rise to obey, with you I go forth into the day to join you in your great and beautiful plans. May you be glorified in my life today.
Image may contain: cloud, sky, tree, outdoor and nature

Psalm 9:13-14

 
Psalm 9:13 “O LORD, see how my enemies persecute me! Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death,”
 
[Lord, there are so many believers around the world in places like Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Egypt, India, Nigeria and Eritrea, who are literally being pursued to the gates of death.
Recently a suicide bomber entered a church in Egypt and killed dozens of worshipers. In a second incident at another worship service, the gate keeper prevented a bomber from entering a church, saving many lives, but was himself killed by the blast.
 
The widow of the martyred gate keeper responded with biblical grace on national television, forgiving the man who killed her husband, astounding the Muslim news commentator listening to her interview. He was literally speechless! May this powerful testimony of Christian grace result in many coming to faith in Christ.
 
Praise you that you are there, strengthening them, delivering them, whether it be through the gates of splendor into eternity or out of the clutches of groups like ISIS, Al Kaida and Boko Haram. You are both faithful and merciful in the help you powerfully provide.
 
Be with them, Lord, embrace them, give them grace, help them to respond to persecution with your thoughts: praising for the privilege of suffering, forgiving and praying for their persecutors, blessing those who misuse them (Matt. 5:11,12,43,44). ]
 
Psalm 9:14 “that I may declare your praises in the gates of the Daughter of Zion and there rejoice in your salvation.”
 
[One major purpose of deliverance is to give you glory, Lord, to praise you for your goodness, to rejoice in you–not just to be relieved at the end of our pain and turn back to our self-centered, futile living.
 
Praise be to you for your power to preserve, for your strength to save, for your promise to protect, and your commitment to keep. May we live in the light of that today, passing through difficulties with the power of the Spirit, and praising you for your deliverance–past, present and future.]
 
In the picture below, taken in the bombed church in Egypt, a bloodied page with text from Matthew 16:24-28 includes these words: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”
Image may contain: food

Psalm 9:

Psalm 9:11-12 “Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; for he who avenges blood remembers; he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted.”
 
[Praise you, O Great and Mighty Lord, for you are just; you are faithful; you will avenge evil; you will not forget.
 
I thank you that you pay close attention to the cry of the afflicted, that you know each person’s situation, each person’s suffering, each person’s heart, each person’s deep desire for security and significance, for belonging, worth and competence.
 
As it says in Isaiah 51:12-15, “I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass, that you forget the LORD your Maker, who stretches out the heavens and who lays the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the wrath of the oppressor, who is bent on destruction?
 
“For where is the wrath of the oppressor? The cowering prisoners will soon be set free; they will not die in their dungeon, nor will they lack bread. For I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar– the LORD Almighty is his name.”
 
We all long for freedom from the oppression of the enemy, from Satan and his attacks, and you, the LORD Almighty, have provided such freedom for us in the death and resurrection of Christ, in the provision of all we need for life and Godliness, including the full armor of God. Help us to take an utilize all of it, all day, every day.
 
I praise you, Lord, for your consistent care for us, your good guidance and your powerful protection, like a father watching over his sons, as in the picture below. You are truly worthy of worship, glory and honor. Today we offer you praise, exaltation and obedience in and for all that will come from your good hand.
Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor

Psalm 9:11

Psalm 9:11 “Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done.”
 
[You, Lord God, are worthy of praise, and more, for all that you have done; to you belong worship, exaltation, honor, glory and thanksgiving.
 
You have provided the possibility of forgiveness for all evil doers; you have redeemed and rescued all willing to become your children; you have released your saints from the dominion of darkness and ushered us into the Kingdom of Light, the Kingdom of your Son whom you love.
 
In Him we are forgiven, cleansed, transformed, adopted, commissioned to special service, and equipped to join you in what you are doing. In Jesus we are dearly loved, doted on and delighted in.
 
You have glorified your name in countless instances of doing good to your enemies, being gracious to your rebellious children, being kind to all people, being holy in the face of evil, being patient in the face of rejection and being purposeful in your work of bringing history to a conclusion where you will eliminate evil and restore the perfection of pre-fall creation.
 
In the light of all this, what is our response? We must worship you, we must exalt you, we must praise you, for there is no other possible reaction for those who know your name.
 
May you be honored in our lives today, Lord God, may obedience flow, may praises multiply, may trust reign, may glory rise to you each moment–for you are worthy, O Triune, Glorious and Eternal LORD!
Image may contain: sky, cloud, tree, outdoor, nature and water

Something to Nurture your first love

 
“…to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.”
Psalm 86:4b,5 (NKJV)
 
Praise be to you, Jesus, my Lord, Adonai, the One who has the right to expect from us complete obedience and gives complete provision, empowering us to do so. I give you glory for your merciful and gracious heart.
 
I thank you that we can lift our souls to you, telling you what we are thinking, wanting and feeling–being completely honest and transparent before you, knowing that in your Omniscience and Love, you desire our full honesty with you.
 
You aren’t shocked by what we confess—you already know it all! You don’t condemn us for our openness, you are delighted by it, and through it you give us joy in the light of your presence. You pour out your forgiveness on us! You give us mercy! You give us goodness! (Ps. 86:4,5).
 
You, O Lord Jesus, are wonderful to your rebellious creatures, showing your grace in giving unearned, undeserved mercy. This flows from your beautiful character, for you are majestically glorious in your mercy, even though it is uncalled for, undeserved and unexpected—it is the opposite of what even the angels thought would happen. But such goodness flows from you, O Lord Jesus, because you are Love, you are Light, you are Life. You are Holy, completely other than your creation. You are fully good, wholeheartedly giving, and totally gracious.
 
At the same time you are also purely righteous, fully just and faithfully true. No one who refuses your offer of pardon will escape your power to judge and you will judge correctly. Praise you for your umbrella of mercy you have provided for all who will believe, to protect them from your coming wrath, which must fall on all sin.
 
For these great truths, I give you praise and honor in my heart, in my thoughts, in my words, and in my obedience. You, Lord Jesus, are the Perfect One, the Trustable One, the Powerful One, the Eternal One. You are worthy of our obedience, our worship, our trust, our submission. To you belongs all praise and I bow before you, desiring to bring you such exaltation in my life today.
 
Prayer: “May I obey you out of love this day, Lord Jesus, bringing glory to your name. I want to be transparent before you, letting your light shine down into my soul and then out of me to others. Protect me, O Lord, from myself and my tendency to sin. I want to bring you joy today through obedience. Help me to follow you alone and I praise you now for how you will answer. Amen.”
Image may contain: plant and flower

Another Wedding

More from my Autobio, another marriage
It had taken Josh about five years after meeting Sarah to come to the point of commitment. With Nat, things progressed a bit faster.
 
He had a girlfriend in the States before he left for Turkey, but because she was not interested in or equipped to work in a difficult, overseas environment, Nat eventually ended the relationship.
 
At the end of July in 2007 he called me on the phone. “You know, Dad,” he said, “I’ve always wanted a ‘sports car kind of wife,’ more of a movie star type, like Mom. But now I realize that what I need is an ‘SUV wife,’ one that can go off road with me into difficult places.”
 
“Good!” I said, “I’ve got the girl for you. She will be coming to Ankara in two weeks. Her name is Abby. Take her out and get to know her!”
 
Abby was a great match for Nat. Like Sarah, she was a vibrant believer and was already part of our group. She had spent three years in the country with a different group, so she already spoke the language and knew the culture. And she was fully supported in her ministry by her own church and individual contacts.
 
Unbeknownst to me, others were also thinking about the possible matchup of Nat and Abby. So when she got back to our country of service, her friends also encouraged Nat to get to know her.
 
Nat took her out, enjoyed the time, and sensed a nudge from the Lord that he should get together with her again. On their second date, Abby’s purse was stolen in the restaurant where they were having supper. Abby told us later that she had no idea what to do such a situation, but Nat did. First he called her cell phone– the thief answered but immediately hung up; then he talked to the waiters to get their input and finally he took Abby to the local police station to make a report.
 
Abby told us that In the midst of this she said to herself, “If this is what it’s like being married, I think I’d really like that!”
 
A week later Nat took Abby out for the third time and said to her, “I think we should talk about our future together.”
 
“Great!” said Abby, “The tension has been killing me!” So two weeks after meeting they were planning their marriage.
Nat’s birthday is May 27th, so this number is special to him: his email address is 27, he signs his drawings with a 27, his prayer letter was called 27, and Psalm 27 was his theme. And, it turned out that Abby was 27 when they met! That clinched it for Nat!
 
They wanted to marry on the 27th, and were talking about January in the States. I suggested to Nat that they have a civil wedding in Turkey on December 27, which would make the year of their wedding also contain both a 2 and 7: 2007. However, the cost of doing this was prohibitive, so that idea got scratched.
 
In the end they married in the States on January 27, 2008 in Virginia. Then, like Josh and Sarah, they also had a reception in Connecticut and one in Ankara when they returned. Their wedding was well celebrated!
Image may contain: 2 people, people standing and stripes

Psalm 9:10

Psalm 9:10 “Those who know your name will trust in you,”
 
Your name, Elohim (God), means the powerful and faithful One. You have shown your power in your vast and varied creation and your faithfulness in following through on your promise to provide salvation through Christ for all who will believe.
Your name, Adonai (Lord), means the powerful Authority who has the right to demand full obedience, and along with that, promises complete provision of all we need to live for and obey you.
Your name Yahweh (LORD), means the holy One who is utterly independent of your creation and utterly committed to caring for it. You are the Hater of sin, the Judge of evil and the Lover of your sinful creatures.
 
You are the great I AM, with no beginning and no end, ever existent, ever powerful, ever present. You are absolutely, utterly, completely, eternally trustable. To not trust in you is a great sin, denigrating your mighty, majestic, magnificent Names.]
 
“for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
[The record speaks! You have come to the rescue of all who have called upon you: Adam, Able, Abraham, Moses, the Children of Israel (many, many, times), the Judges of Israel, David, Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, Isaiah, Ezekiel, the Apostles, Paul–and us.
 
As we seek you, call out to you, you are faithful to answer. As it says in Psalm 34:4-8, “I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
 
“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.
 
“The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
 
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”
 
So let us hide ourselves in the Almighty One who will never forsake us and helps all those who take refuge in Him.]
Image may contain: sky, tree, grass, outdoor, nature and water

Psalm 9:9

Psalm 9:9 “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,”
 
[Praise you, Yahweh, the great I AM, Creator and Sustainer of the heavens and earth, the sea and all that is in it. You who, while filling the whole universe, are aware of each of the oppressed and calls every one of us to yourself for refuge.
 
People are oppressed first and foremost by the devil as he keeps them enslaved by fear of death, by desire and deception, by division and distraction. And he oppresses through evil people, evil persuasions, evil purposes. Then we are also oppressed by our own old nature where selfishness, pride, lust and greed consistently seek to rule us.
 
But you, Lord Jesus, have opened a door out of this miserable morass of darkness and despair into the Kingdom of Light and Love, where you are our very personal refuge and strength, not just for our comfort but also so we may give you ever increasing glory.]
 
The Lord is “a stronghold in times of trouble.”
 
[In you we are safe during the destructive attacks of the enemy, able to turn these assaults into opportunities for growth and helping others. In you we can find comfort and rest, salvation and protection. In you we find love and grace, goodness and help. In you we find forgiveness and pardon, cleansing and transformation.
 
In you there is loving chastening, firm correction and certainty of rebuke when needed. In you there is deliverance from deception, lust, selfishness and stubborn, destructive independence. You are our protector in all troubles, as long as we dwell in your shelter.
 
As it says in Psalm 91:1-4 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’
 
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” ]
 
Lord, help me to willfully take shelter in you in each moment and event of today, in You my mighty Rock and my Refuge.
Image may contain: tree, plant, outdoor, nature and water