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More from Chapter 63

On March 12, the police again came to our house while I was at school and left a message for me to come to their headquarters.
When I got home from teaching, we gathered up any papers the police might consider incriminating and put them into a brief case. I told Barbara to take it and go to someone else’s house just in case the police came to search ours. Then I went to the police headquarters.
I was surprised to see my coworker Jean there, too. The police took down our identity information and then led us out to a van and drove to my house. I was not concerned about this since we’d already made our preparations.
However, when we arrived and went in, I was shocked and then angry to find that Barbara was still there! She remained calm, however, and after letting us in, while the police were looking through the apartment, she picked up the brief case and walked out. No one stopped or questioned her! I was relieved. A three-star God sighting.
After going to Jean’s house for the same routine, we returned to the police headquarters where they put us in a large cell. Again we were surprised: there was Orin!
For most of us who were rounded up that day, this was the first time to be arrested and the first time to be put in a cell. There was a lot of uncertainty, and therefore fear. Since we all knew that beatings and torture were a standard part of police interrogation, this threat was hanging over each of us.
The policeman who placed us in the cell pointed to a man standing in the middle of the room. “Do not talk with him; he is to stand there for twenty-four hours so he will come to himself and tell us what he knows!”
That may not seem like much of a torture, but think about what it means to have to stand in one place for twenty-four hours: no sleep, no food, no water, no chance to go to the bathroom, no rest for your tired legs and feet. That is a very effective “white” torture, breaking down one’s resistance.
I thought to myself, “Is that just a command, or are you really telling us what will happen to us if we don’t give you the information you expect to get from us?”
As the evening wore on, the police brought in more believers, including Elvina and my former student, Sam. The women were kept on the police side of the cell bars and were given chairs to sit on.
Our cell was sparsely furnished: just one park bench. If they kept us for the night, we would obviously have to sleep on the cement floor.
Sam and I had an appointment for a discipleship lesson that evening, so we sat on the park bench and did our study right there. We were not allowed any personal possessions like a Bible in jail, but this didn’t hamper us at all. Sam’s assignment had been to memorize half a chapter in the NT and we just did our lesson on that chapter.
During this time, a policeman came and took Orin away. When he was back an hour later, he was white as a sheet and shaking. The policeman who brought him in warned us sternly not to talk to him. Later he was able to tell us that he had been beaten, mostly in his chest area, and was in pain.
What a shame that such a gentle, kind, gracious person should be subjected to that kind of treatment. The physical damage done in that brief time would stay with him for the next three years.
Around 10 pm I decided to lay down and get what sleep I could. I had never slept directly on a cement floor before, and I was not surprised at how uncomfortable it was. This was accentuated by not having any pillow.
I also discovered that lying on my side was the most uncomfortable position, because the seam of my blue jeans cut into my leg.
After a while the Lord gave me the idea to take off my shoes, put them together and use them for a pillow. Then, lying on my back and putting my arm over my eyes to shut out the bright lights, I was finally able to fall asleep.
Sometime in the night I was awakened by a policeman nudging me with his foot.
“Come with me,” he said gruffly. I climbed stiffly to my feet, put on my shoes and followed him out of the cell door. We went down the hall to a large room. Glancing at the clock on the wall I saw that it was 3 am.
“Sit down there,” ordered the policeman. I took a seat and looked around. There were four men, one of them seated before a typewriter.
Soon a fifth man came in, a man I knew. I had met him in a pastry shop in the squatter housing section of town. He had come over and wanted to practice his English with me.
“Hello,” he said, shaking my hand, “I am here to translate for you.” He was, of course, an undercover policeman. The locals like to joke that every third person is in the employ of the police as an informer. That may not be far from the truth!
First they took my personal information, including my father and mother’s names—an important means of identification here.
Then they began grilling me with one question after another. My translator had a hard time keeping up, as his English was not that strong, so I just started answering in the local language.
They tried to trick me into admitting my “guilt” of using enticements to get people to become Christians. I explained how ridiculous that was; who would trust someone who was willing to change his faith for money or other gain? They hadn’t thought of that.
One policeman demanded, “Give us the names of your students at the university.”
“Sure,” I said, “Henry, John, Jane…”
“No, no, we want their last names, too.”
“I will not give you those. My students have done nothing wrong. They had no say in getting me as a teacher. If I identify them, then you will call them in and it will be on their records for life. No, I will not give you their names.” I folded my arms in a defiant gesture. The police looked at each other and shrugged.
“Ok, tell us what your assignment is in the Believers in Jesus group.”
This question highlighted a mistake that all of us had made in our relations with the police. Since the word “Christian” had negative connotations in this society, conjuring up for most people the image of a drunken, unclean, dishonest, immoral infidel, we wanted a different identity. So the believers had started calling themselves “Believers in Jesus.”
This worked well for everyday relationships, as people would ask us what that meant and we could then fill it with meaning. But with the authorities it was another matter. This society is what I call a “pigeon-hole society,” meaning they have certain accepted categories everyone must fit in. If they can’t put you into one of these, then you are suspect.
“Believers in Jesus” did not fit into any of the existing categories of Catholic, Orthodox or Protestant, so the police put us into the “terrorist” slot. Later we always used “Protestant” with authorities, but the damage was done.
I had read in the newspaper about this conspiracy idea concerning the “Believers in Jesus” group. Later we found that Harry had inadvertently helped develop this by telling the police that each of us had an assignment, like being in charge of video production or indoctrination or literature. The Lord gave me wisdom in answering this particular question so I didn’t incriminate any of us.
All this time the man at the typewriter had been banging away, recording everything that was said. After about two hours of questioning, the lead interrogator turned to him. “Ok, I think we have enough information; give it to him to sign.”
The typist pulled the papers out of his typewriter, three copies with carbon paper, and handed them to me. “Sign here,” he said.
“I can’t sign until I’ve read it.”
“Ok,” he sighed, “read it.”
It had a lot of technical words in it but I got the gist; it did not incriminate me of anything illegal, so I signed it.
I was led back to the cell, glad that I hadn’t been beaten and was ready for some more sleep because I was drained both emotionally and physically.
 Picture: one of my students with me
 
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Psalm 31:2-3

Psalm 31:2 “be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.”
 
[Praise you, O Lord God, that you are consistently with us: you have made yourself our Refuge by redeeming, adopting and embracing us. You have made yourself our Rock of stability in a world of uncertainty, the personal Refuge of every one of your children. And you are our strong Fortress that we can run into at any time to be protected in whatever way you deem best. We can trust you.]
 
Psalm 31:3 “Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.”
 
[Yes! Because you are my rock and fortress, I have hope! There is help! There is hindrance of my enemy and his plans! You will answer and act for the sake of your holy Name.
 
It is wonderful that we can appeal to you on this basis—for when you lead and guide us, our lives become for you a source of glory and honor, praise and acclaim. May we follow your guidance, thinking of giving you more honor; may we be trusting and obedient so that you may have more glory for your Name.]
 
Psalm 31:4 “Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.”
 
[Based on what you have declared yourself to be, Lord God, we can appeal to you to take us out of the traps of the devil, of evil men and of our own old nature.
 
And so you have done in your mighty act of redemption, opening the door of our cell in the kingdom of darkness and calling us out into the Kingdom of Light. You, Lord Jesus, are greater and more powerful than any opposition and you have, in joining us in our weakness, defeated every enemy in every way.
 
I exalt you, Lord Jesus, my Refuge; I exalt you, O Heavenly Father, my Rock; I exalt you, Holy Spirit, my Guide and Comforter. In you, the great and mighty triune God, I can trust: in you I am safe, in you I am secure.
 
To you be glory in my life today. May you be endlessly honored in my motives, thoughts, desires and words. Amen!
 
Picture from internet by kdsphotos
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Delight

“…delight yourself also in the Lord….” Psalm 37:4
 
I want to delight in you, Lord Jesus–you who were on earth simultaneously both entirely God and entirely man—both finite and fully infinite.
 
You were the Creator and the carpenter. You were the star breather, and the table maker. You were the galaxy former and the sawdust sweeper. You were the history maker and the box builder. You were the one who set up kings and took down tools from your carpenter’s rack. You were the pivotal person in all history and you were the sharpener of chisels. You were the owner of all the universe and lived on the gifts of others.
 
You are unfathomably amazing, wonderfully awe inspiring, fully beyond comprehension. To delight in you is to approach the essence of life, the meaning of existence, the light of eternity.
 
You are sparkling in your purity, generous in your grace, marvelous in your majesty, great in your goodness, dazzling in your wisdom and overwhelming in your greatness.
 
To delight in you is to enter into a fuller reality, to let the shadows of our natural thoughts and values fade into the background, as the light of Truth and Love from your inner beauty shines into our hearts.
 
Such gazing on your beauty brings transformation and joy, a deeper grasp of your acceptance and forgiveness of us, and a solid sense of the security of being your child.
 
You are delightful, you are delectable, you are decidedly wonderful and as I bow before you, all else pales and falls away. Only your gracious, glorious and good presence remains.
 
To know you is so inexpressibly sweet and so overwhelmingly powerful at the same time.
 
I choose to delight in you, Lord Jesus, rejecting the tinsel of this world, along with my pride and self-centered sinfulness. For In you I am forgiven, in you I am cleansed, in you I am accepted, in you I am unconditionally and eternally loved. What more could I want? May you be delighted in every moment.
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Balance

“Teach me Your way, O Lord; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.”
Psalm 86:11
 
God has such an ability to take us right through to the heart of a matter, making us deal with the next area of growth He has for us. As 2002 was drawing to a close, He brought me again face-to-face with my own weakness, imperfection and fallibility. It was another case of “humiliation is the shortcut to humility.”
 
Twice in one weekend I was humiliated by my wrong choices. First I almost killed my whole family by making an impatient, unwise move while driving and only God’s grace kept us from being hit.
 
Then, in doing an act of kindness to our destitute renter, I built a fire in his wood stove and stacked extra wood nearby. However, later as this wood grew warmer, it fell over on the stove and caught fire, almost burning down the house!
 
In both cases God protected us and used my errors for good But it is not easy to let go of my self-image of being competent, wise, effective–which is only half the truth–and instead also see myself as God sees me: poor, needy, weak and faulty.
 
Interestingly my meditation ground at this time has been Psalm 86 where verse one begins, “Bow down and hear me, O God, for I am poor and needy…” How true that is!
 
The psalmist doesn’t stop there, however, but gives the other half of the story: “preserve my soul for I am holy….” It’s hard to keep those two opposing truths in mind: our abject natural spiritual poverty and our shining, glorious acceptance in Christ. Yet the tension between the two is what God uses to keep us balanced.
 
This reminder of my fallibility and dependency on God is very important, and my prayer is that the rest of Psalm 86:1 will be true in my life and yours: “O my God, save your servant who trusts in you.”
 
Prayer: “Lord help me to embrace the humbling, humiliating things that come, to accept that I am weak and needy. And at the same time help me to grasp that in you I am complete, that in Christ I am valued, belong, am competent and useful in your hands. Help me to keep that balance, seeing myself as you do. Amen.”
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Psalm 31

 
 
Praise you, Lord God, that I wake up each morning to your goodness. My experience last night of losing all my luggage, computer included, turned out to be a dream–but I didn’t know that while living it! And this gave me the chance in my dream to offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving and trust you in the midst of loss.
 
Praise you for all the times that you have protected the possessions you have given us, as well as allowing us at times to lose some. You, O Lord, are good and gracious and kind–even if I lose all and have only you, that will be far more than enough! “Whom have I in heaven but you, and earth has nothing I desire besides you!” Psalm 73:25
 
I thank you, Lord, for your care, your compassion, your constant presence. You are the One to be sought continually, to be thought about consistently, to be sought in prayer in every situation. “In the day of my trouble I call to you for you deliver me” (Ps. 86:7).
 
Psalm 31:2 “Turn your ear to me,”
 
[Thank you, Lord Jesus that you listen to us intently, that you have opened the way for us to cry to the Father and that our prayers are consistently heard. Praise you that you are the One who thought up prayer, who hears prayer and answers prayer.]
 
“come quickly to my rescue;”
 
[Praise be to you, Heavenly Father, that in answering prayer, you are never late, never miss the mark, never lose an opportunity. You know the best way to answer, which sometimes means leaving us in our desperation as long as it takes to produce the growth you know we need, the surrender that will open the way for deepening, and the maturing which will enable us to give you more glory.
 
Praise you that you answer out of your wisdom, your love, your grace and your goodness, rather than out of our impatience. Help us to rest in you rather than in getting our way.]
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Chapter 63

Chapter 63 A New Wave of Difficulties
 
As another new year rolled around, we expected more arrests, because at this time of the year the police had less to do. However, January came and went without an incident.
During my semester break in the last week of February, we took a trip to the south for a little vacation. We returned home late Saturday evening to the news that Barbara’s father had died.
The next morning, a Sunday, on the back page of a national newspaper was a long and negative article about Christians in general and me in particular, with a color picture of me, one Burt, the police spy, had taken several years back—he had even previously given me a copy of it. And my name was spelled correctly, very unusual anywhere, but as Burt was meticulous, he had given it accurately.
It was clear that the police had given the information to the newspaper so they could arrest us. We also knew that when a person was arrested, he could be kept for fifteen days without being charged and with no contact with anyone: no lawyer, no phone calls, no rights.
The article said I was corrupting the youth and was trying to get people to become Christians by offering them free English lessons or money or a foreign wife.
Monday morning, I went to the university to talk with my boss about going to Germany for my father-in-law’s funeral. Then I went and bought plane tickets for us all to leave that afternoon.
Shortly after I got home the doorbell rang. I opened it to find a policeman with an invitation for me to go with him to the National Police Headquarters.
In the van waiting for me outside were two other policemen with submachine guns. When we got to the headquarters and they were processing me in, I asked one of them if he had that submachine gun just for me. He smiled, but didn’t answer.
They took me into a large office and began to ask questions about the information in the newspaper. I told what I knew to be true and made clear what was false. I also told them about my father-in-law’s death and our plans to go to Germany for the funeral, showing them my ticket.
“Looks to me like you’re running away because this news article exposed your illegal actions,” said one policeman.
“I could not have planned either the article or my father-in-law’s death,” I said. “I can prove his death with the obituary notice if you want. I have no reason to run away. My home and my work are here.”
That didn’t sway them, and they intentionally kept me just long enough so I missed the plane.
Barbara and I had agreed that if I didn’t come back that she would continue with our plans and fly to Germany that afternoon. As it got closer to the time for her to leave, Barbara called one of our teammates and asked him to take her to the airport. Bless him that he was willing to do so. Most of our teammates understandably didn’t want to come near us since we were politically “hot,” and could possibly be under surveillance. But Richard was willing to be supportive of Barbara, even at risk to himself. It was a stressful time for all of us, and the stress manifested itself in Josh coming down with a fever during the flight.
The next day I went to my travel agent, got my ticket changed and flew off to Germany. We were glad to be together for this important time, and made plans to share some of the gospel with those who would come for the burial.
The funeral was a typical German affair, everyone dressed in black and very somber. Most German Protestants have no assurance of salvation, and rightly so, for they rely on the sacraments of the church to save them.
After a short ceremony in the graveyard chapel, the coffin was carried to the grave and lowered in. Then all the relatives and close friends each tossed three small scoops of earth on the coffin.
Normally at this point everyone leaves, but after we threw our scoops on the coffin, I stepped up and began to speak while Barbara translated.
We talked about how one could be saved and know it, explaining how all the rituals that Protestants normally rely on for grace (baptism as a baby, confirmation, being married in the church and buried by the pastor) were totally inadequate.
We briefly but carefully outlined the gospel and called people to accept the eternal life that Jesus offered.
Years later, some neighbors who came to Christ in their late forties, cited this talk as one factor in their coming to faith.
 
After a week in Germany, we flew back to our adopted country and I resumed my teaching. My students knew of the article in the newspaper and asked me if I were a missionary. That word in their language is a very negative term, indicating someone with a political agenda to undermine the country, carried out through religion. I tried to dispel their wrong thinking, but don’t think it was very effective. We could tell that our lives were moving into a more and more challenging situation, but our eyes were on God.
Picture: 47 year old Barbara at her father’s funeral
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Our Magnificent God

 
Praise you, Lord, for your undeserved goodness, poured on upon us daily, manifested in multiple ways, like giving us the gifts of sight, speech, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, things we take for granted, but miss much if we lose them.
 
Then there are the major, majestic, mighty ways you pour out your goodness on us: pardon from definitely deserved death, the gift of eternal life, the indwelling of the Spirit, the wonder of your Word, an intimate relationship with you, belonging in your family, guidance, meaning, purpose and protection in life. Plus help in every circumstance, membership in the Church Universal, and abundant grace at all times. There is no end to the wonderful flow of your goodness, just as there is no end to learning about your marvelous and magnificent character.
 
You are the Three-in-One God: the Father who plans, the Son who brings it to pass, the Holy Spirit who finishes it up. You are the perfect Person, the perfect Personality, the perfect Planner, the perfect Partner who invites us into your work.
 
You are Marvelous in your personality, Majestic in your judgments, Mighty in your redemption and Magnificent in your mercy. To you belongs all affection, all loyalty, all commitment, all awe, all reverence, all obedience, all honor–for in you there is no flaw, no imperfection, no error, no sin, no evil, no lack, no wrong. You are worthy of eternal, complete, wholehearted and total love.
 
So, I bow before you this morning, Lord God: I praise you, Heavenly Father, I honor you, Lord Jesus, I surrender to you, Holy, Spirit. May there be in my life what you continually deserve: exaltation, magnification, worship, obedience and glory. Amen.
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Psalm 31:1

Psalm 31 For the director of music. A Psalm of David.
 
“In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;”
 
[Where else, O Lord, is there for safety? You only are my Rock, my Salvation, my High Tower. From you only comes my Rescue. You only are my Lord, my Shepherd, my God, my King.
 
You alone are the One in whom I can find refuge, for you are powerful beyond belief, wise beyond comprehension, good beyond hope, loving beyond expectations, faithful beyond understanding. You are the Glorious, Holy, Strong and Trustable One, the only true Stability in the universe. In you alone is there Hope.]
 
“let me never be put to shame;”
 
[taking refuge in you will lead to your glory and my safety. You will give me the honor of your love and protection, of your care and compassion, shielding me from the shame your enemies want to heap on me. “My salvation and my honor depend on God…” (Ps. 62:6). Grant me a token for good that those who hate me may see it and be ashamed instead.]
 
“deliver me in your righteousness.”
 
[Praise you that you are totally Right, completely Holy and always act out of your Pure character. I praise you that you are really Righteous in all that you do, totally Trustable, fully Faithful. I praise you that you will deliver me finally, first from fears, then from troubles (Psa. 34).]
 
Praise you, Lord God–Father, Son and Holy Spirit–that you are constantly, consistently at work in our lives, bringing all the help, wisdom, protection, ordering and provision that we need. We are so weak, so small, so vulnerable, but you are so wonderfully wise, perfectly powerful, majestically mighty and utterly undefeatable. In you we can hide. In you we can rest. In you we are safe.
 
I am so thankful, Lord Jesus, for your powerful, effective, wonderful Salvation, bought at great personal price, giving us value, acceptance, meaning, family and a future–a great demonstration of your rich, merciful Love, which continues to flow into our lives every day.
 
Thank you for the challenges that come, the opportunities to trust you, the chances to rest in you and to listen to you rather than the strident, confusing voices of the world, of my own flesh and of the devil. I praise you, Lord God for how you will care for me today. May I live worthy of you, in thought, motive, word and action. Amen.
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Psalm 30:9-12

 
Psalm 30:9 “What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?”
 
[This is David’s desperate appeal for help as he faces the real threat of death; it was done in logic and in a desire to honor you, Lord; he desired to live for the magnificent purpose you have granted us: giving you glory. Help us to grasp, like David, the privilege of honoring you each moment of our lives—and to live that out.]
 
Psalm 30:10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help.”
 
[It is a wonderful truth that you, O Lord, do hear and are richly, powerfully merciful. You are our ready help, you will answer in the right way and at the right time. Therefore, I can give you praise in and for all, long before any answer comes.
 
I praise you now for how you are going to work in the situations and relationships that are in flux around me. I praise you for your wonderful help and guidance that flows freely and continually into my life. Praise be to you for your goodness, continually emanating from your perfect and beautiful character.]
 
Psalm 30:11 “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,”
 
[You answered David, you brought him through the dark valley, you delivered him from his fears, his enemies, his dangers. And for what purpose?]
 
Psalm 30:12 “that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.”
 
[You saved him so David might have the privilege of exalting you further, you who are worthy of worship, of love and obedience.]
 
“O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.”
 
[And you, Lord, ARE worthy of thanks forever and ever. May we daily live in the power of thanksgiving, of praise, of worship, so that, for the joy set before us, we can endure whatever cross you deem necessary, knowing that we will be set down in heaven with you at the wedding feast of the Lamb! What a hope, what a future, what a privilege to live with, for and in you Lord Jesus! May we do it well.]
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Stability

This entry was so good for me to read as I face a possible negative response from the zoning board here. It refocused me on the Lord, on the fact that this board is not my enemy, but Satan is, and this brought back some of my peace. Please pray with me for a good outcome.
 
Psalm 30:6,7 “When I felt secure, I said, ‘I will never be shaken.’ O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;”
 
[When we are in a positive situation, when we are safe and see your blessings, it is easy to feel firm and stable. Such times are important for solidification and building up in truth–if we take advantage of them, diving into your Word, exalting in personal worship and basking in your love. But here is little opportunity in this secure situation to go by faith, to trust you as we can when all sense of security is gone, when all is in tumult and uncertainty.]
 
“but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.”
 
[When my feelings turn negative, when my situation goes downhill, when I am attacked, my health fails, my friends desert me, my financial situation goes bad, or my work does not prosper–then it is easy to be dismayed, to be discouraged, to flag in my strength.
 
But this is also the time to flee to you, Lord, to affirm my trust in you, to find shelter in your Word and in your presence. “In times of trouble you will keep me safe in your dwelling, you will hide me in the shelter of your tabernacle and set me high on a rock” (Psalm 27:5).]
 
Psalm 30:8 “To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:”
 
[This is the proper response, to seek you and your mercy, to recognize my weakness and your strength, to trust you, not myself. I praise you, Lord God, for your goodness and graciousness and for how you answer us in such situations, first delivering us from all our fears, then strengthening us with strength in our souls, then saving us out of all our troubles, whether through deliverance or through giving endurance, or through death (Ps. 34:4-7).
 
You are the God who is there, you are the God who hears, you are the God who answers. “…the angel of the Lord encamps round about those who fear him and delivers them” (Ps. 34:8).]
 
Help me to utilize the times of security to deepen my walk with you, Lord Jesus; help me then to rejoice in the times of difficulty, offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving, finding my rest and hope in you, exalting you by living in Truth. And I thank you now for how you will answer this prayer.
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