Uncategorized

Uncategorized

The fall

 
From Edified, written in 2006
 
“God said to Abraham, ’Take your son, your only son, Isaac,
whom you love….Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering….’”
Genesis 22:2
 
One of the basic principles of walking with God is to hold all we have with an open hand, being willing for God to take and give as He sees best.
 
Since returning to the Middle East in late July, the Lord has been taking things from us one at a time. First was Freedom’s going to Germany. He has been such a good help in both business and in the church: energetic, insightful, eager to help, visionary and a leader. I had to put him on the altar of my heart, telling God what I wanted (for him to stay), but being willing to accept the opposite (for him to go).
 
Then there was a period of sickness (health taken for a while), then disappointments in business. Then a larger issue: losing our apartment. The landlord’s son wants to move in; legally we could resist this for at least 6 months, but both of us believe our witness is more important than our rights.
 
Then while looking for apartments Barbara fell down a full flight of stairs, landing on her face, hitting her head against the marble wall and breaking her right wrist. This was the biggest test for me, as I rushed down the stairs to get to her, seeing blood all over, not knowing if she were dead after hitting her head so hard, or if she had a broken neck, or some other serious injury. Praise God that He protected her from major, permanent damage.
 
This incident then forced us to give up or postpone a number of planned items (our vacation, Barbara’s trip to see her mother, a trip for business), and brought a good deal of change in our life style for a while (because of her broken wrist, I learned how to put bobby pins in Barbara’s hair, among other things).
 
Then while helping to lead a small tour on the Black Sea coast, the authorities pursued and interrogated us, leaving us with the threat of investigation, harassment and perhaps expulsion.
 
Beyond this are happenings in the lives of friends here, which involve us to some degree: terminal cancer, financial problems, persecution, a death in a traffic accident, and other difficulties–things we’d just as soon not deal with, but things God has allowed to come for good reasons known only to Him.
 
All these events involve giving up: relationships, convenience, desires, what is familiar and secure. But they also involve gaining much more: a deeper surrender, a better understanding of His Word, the opportunity to praise in the midst of disappointment, a greater grasp of God’s character, the opportunity to see Him powerfully answer prayer, the possibility of being a witness to those who watch us go through these times with grace.
 
These positives were especially true with Barbara’s accident. Very obviously God protected her from permanent damage in the fall; why, then, didn’t He protect her fully by preventing the fall? Barbara answered this question herself: “God is doing something through this that we can’t understand yet. Look at all the new people we’ve met with whom we can now share the Truth!” [Epilogue: also through her fall, we got into contact with the cardiologist who saved me from a heart attack.]
 
What summarizes all this for us is Psalm 50:23 “He who sacrifices thank offerings [giving thanks when we don’t feel like it] honors me and prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.”
 
Prayer: Lord, help us each to be people characterized by holding all with an open hand, by praising in all circumstances, trusting you, glorifying you, resting in you. Amen”
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, child, closeup and indoor

Wow!

 
The gospel is not just for unbelievers to hear, it is a body of truth we should be repeating to ourselves daily. We should consistently be in awe at the wonder of God’s outrageous, illogical love for us, His qualifying us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the Kingdom of Light (Col. 1:12).
 
This morning I read in Titus 3 which has a beautiful description of the gospel:
 
“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures…But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.
 
“He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs, having the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:3-7).
 
What grace! What goodness! What undeserved reconciliation, peace and love! Lord, to belong to you, to be your possession, your treasured child, to know you as Father, God, King and Shepherd, is beyond wonderful. Blessed is way too mild a word!
And our wonder increases when we think of what we actually deserved–punishment, rejection, suffering, despair, hopelessness, death and eternal separation from you, being sealed off from all that is good.
In the light of this, what a wonder it is to know that you chose us, wanted us as your children, bought us, sought us, adopted us and transformed us, that you love us and cherish us (Eph. 1:2-8). What marvelous, unbelievable truths! They are far more than we could ever have hoped for!
Truly, you are the God who is beyond our dreams, beyond our hopes, beyond our understanding. You are Great and Powerful, Glorious and Perfect, Gracious and Pure. You are the fulfillment of the longings of our hearts, giving us, with yourself, what we all desire: belonging, worth and competence (Eph. 1:18-19)–and far more. Glory and honor definitely belong to you alone!
May my wonder at you increase every day, O Triune God, may my amazement at being redeemed and loved by you deepen each morning, and may praise, thanksgiving and worship pour out of my soul to you throughout the day as you lead me to walk in the light of your powerful and preserving Presence.]
Image may contain: sky, tree, outdoor, nature and water

What A God!

From Today’s worship journal entry.
 
Thank you, Lord, for your goodness to us, your care and protection, your kindness in every way. Thank you that you are carrying us along, helping us to accomplish many good things. Help us today to do what is right and best, Lord, to think truth, to make wise decisions in line with your Word and Spirit.
 
I praise you, Lord Jesus, for your great love, that as the Father has loved you, so you love us (John 15:9). You love us richly, deeply, consistently, whole-heartedly, unconditionally, warmly, joyously, delightedly, graciously, powerfully, fully, without regret, strongly, firmly, wisely and well.
 
Thank you, Lord God, that you are thoroughly good, graciously kind and powerfully wise. In you there is no negative, no evil, no wavering, no confusion, no failure, no mistakes. You are perfect, pure, patient and positive. You love obedience, self-control and endurance. You plan perfectly, you proceed consistently, you prod and provide so that we will grow and deepen, being filled with good works.
 
I praise you for being such a good and gracious God, that you love me, like me, enjoy me, that you give me worth and belonging and competence in your Kingdom (Eph. 1:18-19), that you have given me purpose, hope and a future.
 
Thank you that today’s race is laid out before me (Heb. 12:1), and you are ready to run it with me—you already have your sneakers on–ready to carry me through, encouraging and urging me on.
 
You are such a personal, warm, firm and good God. Help me today to live in such a way as to bring you joy, pleasure and honor. Amen.
Image may contain: plant, flower, tree, sky, outdoor, nature and water

In Custody

During the days I was held in jail by the police some of the neighbors comforted Barbara with stories of their own unjustified arrests. It seemed to have been a pretty common experience in the 70s.

When Barbara went to the butcher while I was gone, she looked at a newspaper while she was waiting in line. There was a full page article about our arrests with a big colored picture of us! She said she folded the paper back up and left without buying anything.

When we arrived at the police headquarters, instead of being taken upstairs as before, we went down two floors into the basement area. Later I learned that they’d had some recent prisoner suicides—probably the result of tortures–with people jumping out the 6th floor window, so they had moved their operations underground.

I was still pretty angry when we arrived. The policeman who processed me noted this and told his assistant to give me a place to “cool off.” I was shoved into a dark tiny cell, just big enough to stand in. My feet were in what I thought was cold water, but I soon realized from the smell that it was raw sewage.

After half an hour the policeman came back, took me out and led me to a large brick-walled cell. There was another door in the back of the cell. I looked through the tiny, barred window to see an even larger area with nothing in it but a park bench.

Soon others were brought in: Jul, two nationals  (Ivan, Harry), and several seekers. One believing couple had gotten married that evening and the police arrested the whole wedding party! The women were taken from us and kept in a separate place.

I decided to get some sleep and lay down on the cold cement floor. I took off one pair of socks, stuffed them into my shoes, and used them for a pillow. My two sweaters were sufficient to keep the cement from sucking too much heat out of my body and I was able to sleep quite well lying on my back.

The next morning more prisoners, unrelated to our situation, were brought in.  One was Al, a bulldozer operator whose brother had been killed in a shootout with the police ten years earlier. Someone had recently told the police that Al had supplied the gun his brother used in the fight. Al was adamant that he knew nothing about it, but of course they didn’t believe him.

Toward evening there was a shift change. A new policeman came in and looked around. “Give me your belts, your shoe laces, your glasses and your watches!” he barked.

That might not seem like a big thing, but it made us feel much more vulnerable. It was disconcerting to have your pants sagging, your shoes falling off, and to not know what time it was–there were no windows so we couldn’t tell if it were day or night.  And since I am extremely near-sighted, everything was blurred without my glasses. All these were constant irritants.

That night they began taking people out for interrogation. Al came back showing signs of having been beaten. When it was my turn, I was led up two floors and into a room with bright lights. It was similar to the other time I’d been arrested, except there were a number of young policemen there along with the older crew.

It was during this questioning that the young policeman pulled out his revolver and held it to my temple, threatening to shoot me.  It was another opportunity for the Lord to give me His wisdom, prompting me to not give in or show any fear. There was nothing new that I could tell them and they knew it. The whole exercise was one of intimidation and harassment.

When I was finally taken back to my cell, I made my notes of my experience and thoughts on a cigarette pack liner. Later I used these notes to make a tape recording for a talk I’d been asked to give at a training event in the States. This training took place shortly after my arrest so I didn’t go. Besides, I was in no condition to leave my family after all this turmoil so I sent the tape instead.

One of the difficulties of being arrested was the stress of not knowing how long they would keep us. The law allowed them to hold us for fifteen days without charging us. This uncertainty was part of their tactic to break us down, as was the isolation. There was no contact allowed with the outside world.

Although they were supposed to give us food, often they wouldn’t. We had to order and pay for our own. Trips to the bathroom had to be arranged and sometimes they made us wait a long time. Everything was designed to keep us on edge.

The next night the police took Al away again. When he came back two hours later he was hardly able to walk, he was blue with cold and shaking. We took turns putting our arms around him to warm him up.

He told us that they had stripped him naked–a great shame in itself in this culture–then handcuffed him to a pipe outside in the cold and sprayed him with high-pressure, freezing-cold water for a long time. It might not sound like much, but it was debilitating as well as discouraging. Our willingness to warm and encourage him helped him through it.

By now we had some new cellmates: a group of communists, and we were all moved into the bigger cell in back of ours. The new prisoners advised Al to not give in, not to confess to something that wasn’t true.

“Just resist, don’t give up, and in the end they will give up,” said one who had been through such things before.

During this time we had plenty of opportunity to share our faith, for each new prisoner asked us why we were there. “Because we are Believers in Jesus,” was our answer.

This was immediately followed by the question, “What is that?”  And we were off on a presentation of the gospel. As I had memorized large portions of Scripture, I was able to quote them in our discussions, although it would have been better to actually have had a Bible in hand. The Lord was to provide that later.

Al especially showed interest in the gospel and we had a number of good talks with him. Toward the end of our time together, he prayed to accept the Lord. We were thrilled. That was worth far more than the inconvenience of being in jail.

Picture: Faithful Barbara, waiting for me at home

Image may contain: 1 person, closeup

Promises Fulfilled

 
[Written in 2014] Today’s reading in the book EDIFIED! [below] is very relevant to us as my little wife continues to live under a weight of multiple negative symptoms without any clear diagnosis or relief in sight. Is this simple depression, or chronic Lyme’s Disease, or something else? No one knows and thus far nothing has helped.
 
In the midst of this we must keep our eyes on Jesus, for He is the one who does know and will both give grace to pass through it and, at the right time, bring relief. Here is the perspective we must have: “Let those who fear the LORD say: ‘His love endures forever.’” Psalm 118:4
 
Praise you, Lord Jesus, that you are my Shepherd, that we can know that whatever comes, you have led us into it, as you led your disciples into the storm on the lake, into the opposition of the crowd, into the pain of your death. You have the larger picture, so we can trust and follow you as you walk with us into the future.
 
Psalm 118:5-9 says, “In my anguish I cried to the LORD….” This is the proper response to any situation, going right to you, O God, fleeing from self-pity, worry, fretting and anger to embrace your goodness, wisdom and love.
 
You will respond to our prayer: “In the day of my trouble I will call on you, for you will answer me” (Ps. 86:7). And your answer begins inside: “I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears” (Ps. 34:4). “In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and he answered by setting me free” (Ps. 118:5).
 
You, Lord God, are the Freedom-giver—freedom from eternal death, from punishment, from condemnation, from selfishness and Satan, as well as from fretting and fear, problems and difficulties. You are always at work to set us free on a deeper level, in a higher way from things that bind us.
 
Praise be to you for your wisdom, your insight, your understanding. You operate with full knowledge, correctly certain of which thing to work on next, which enemy to defeat, which sin to reveal, which character lack to camp out on until we respond to your correction. You don’t guess and fumble about in life as we do; you know exactly what is wrong and you know exactly how to deal with it, for you are the Creator, the Healer and the Freedom-bringer.
 
“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid” (Ps.118:6). As we look away to you, fear is defeated, fretting is routed, worry is wiped out, unbelief is banished. They cannot stand in the light of your mighty, majestic, magnificent power, of your gracious, great and good heart, of your perfect, powerful, positive character, of your deep, dynamic, everlasting Love.
 
To trust in you is always wise, to take refuge in you is always good, to rest in you is always right. Praise be to you, Lord Jesus: Creator and King, Lord and Savior, Judge and Victor.
 
Prayer: “To you be glory in my life today and forever more. Help me to flee to you with each challenge, problem and difficulty, so the answer can come from you and bring you glory. Help me today to distrust myself and to trust in you instead. Amen.”
 
[Epilogue: Praise God that in the ensuing years my wife was diagnosed with chronic Lymes Disease, treated and cured; and with depression for which God provided help and gradual improvement. He is faithful!]
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, tree, outdoor and closeup

Psalm 62:6-8

 
More thoughts on Psalm 62.
Psalm 62:6 “[The Lord] alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
[This is an exact copy of verse 2, a repetition of the truth of where real security is found, indicating its importance. As I face each new day, If I seek refuge in the Lord, I will not be shaken, no matter how traumatic the events that come to me may be.]
Psalm 62:7 “My salvation and my honor depend on God;”
[We so naturally seek our salvation in everyday events in our own efforts, and seek our honor from the opinions of others. However, both our salvation and our honor actually depend fully on God, not on us or others.
He has provided salvation both for eternity and for every day; we know where we are going, and we know He is with us in the nitty-gritty events of life, protecting, guiding and providing.
He is the One who has already given us great honor—choosing us before the foundation of the world, adopting us into His family, making us children of the Creator of the Universe, granting us membership in the Kingdom of light, giving us each a special part in His plan. What else could we desire? Yet we stubbornly tend to seek our salvation and honor elsewhere. Forgive us, Lord, help us to seek salvation and honor only from you.]
“he is my mighty rock, my refuge.”
[The unshakable, unassailable, unconquerable God is the One we can trust in, rest in. When all else seems to fall apart, He is there, steady and stable, reliable and good, wise and sure.]
Psalm 62:8 “Trust in him at all times, O people;”
[There is that command again: “Trust!” When we trust, we can rest. And this is possible all the time because God is always there in His goodness and grace. You, Lord, are sufficient, you are faithful, you are absolutely trustable.]
“pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
[Lord, it is right, good and necessary to lay out before you all our fears, desires, feelings and thoughts. With our heart thus emptied of these, with the Spirit’s help we can fill it with Truth and Trust. Then we are safe in your refuge. You will never reject us for being honest with you–you already know all about us–and you are delighted when we are open, transparent and truthful with you. You desire to be our refuge, you call us to yourself, and in you we are safe.]
Help us, Lord God, to trust in you more and more, to find our rest, our refuge, our salvation, our honor, our safety and our joy in you. You are worthy of trust, you are worthy of praise, you are worthy of worship. May my life give you honor and glory today as I trust in you alone, demonstrated by offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving in all.

Image may contain: plant, tree, sky, cloud, flower, grass, outdoor, nature and water

Psalm 62:5

I praise you for your wonderful Word, Lord, and the powerful way you use it in our lives. During a very trying time in my life, I wrote the following.

Psalm 62:5, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;”

[This is a command, not a suggestion. In 62:1 the same truth is given as a statement “My soul finds rest in God alone,” telling us where rest is possible. Then here we are called upon to make a choice to find our rest in You, Lord.

We need to turn away from what we naturally pursue for rest–getting what we want, resolution of situations and tensions, positive reactions of people, or removal of conflict.

The fact is that each of these solutions is fleeting and superficial, so quickly replaced by other stresses. But finding our rest in you, Lord God, is the true solution, one that is deep, powerful and eternal. Help us to willfully find our rest in you alone.]

Psalm 62: 5 goes on to say, “my hope comes from him.”

[Again, this statement is a bit different from verse one (“my salvation comes from him”). Here is the hope, the certainty of receiving what we desire: rest. But we need go beyond this, to turn from our desire for rest to desiring the One who can grant it.

As it says in Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart.” You. Lord, are to be the focus of our affections; then you can safely give us good things, knowing that they will not become idols.

And as we trust, the power of the Spirit comes into our situation; as we intentionally find our rest in you, Lord, then you pour out all kinds of goodness in our lives.]

We can trust you because you are Elohim, the incredibly powerful and persistently faithful One. You show your power in creation–you are the star Breather, the galaxy Former, the planet Hanger, the earth Spinner, the dawn Bringer. You are great beyond comprehension.

And you are the fully faithful One–you promise and it happens; you plan and it comes to pass, you speak and it comes to be. At the right time you came to be our Savior for eternity; and at the right moment you also save us in our daily lives.

Therefore, in the midst of present uncertainty and disappointments, I choose now to embrace your character as Elohim–the powerful and faithful One–for you know what you are doing as you shape, guide, change and transform my life. I gladly join you today by wholeheartedly trusting you with total praise.

 

Image may contain: 1 person, flower, plant, nature and outdoor

Psalm 33:21-22

Psalm 33:21 “In him our hearts rejoice, ”
[You alone are the source of our joy, Lord Jesus. All that is good comes from you, from your gracious heart and grace-filled hands. To know you, to live with you, to be your child, to serve in your power–this is far more than enough for rejoicing, no matter what our circumstances may be.]
“for we trust in his holy name.”
[Yes, our joy flows because you make it possible for us to trust in you, whose name means “Savior.” You have opened the way so we can know your Name in all its power and purity, its love and light, its faithfulness and forgiveness. You are worthy of trust and submission and obedience.]
Psalm 33:22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,”
[Praise you that your love never fails, that your consistency never fades, that you character never changes. Praise you for your promise that your love will rest upon us now, today, in every moment of need, and on into forever!]
“even as we put our hope in you.”
[Again you remind us that this is a partnership: you provide all, you wait for our participation, our choosing to hope in you. May our daily decision be to hope in you and may that hope ever be evidenced by persistent praise in our hearts, minds, souls and mouths.
To you be glory forever and ever, Lord Jesus, King of Glory, Lord of lords, Shepherd of power and God of love. I bow before you now in awe and respect, I rise up in submission and obedience to your, your Word, your Spirit, your Truth. Glorify yourself in my life today.
Image may contain: plant, flower, tree, sky, outdoor and nature

Psalm 33:19-20

 
Psalm 33:19 “But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him…to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.”
[Here is the true picture. You, Lord Jesus, are the only One who can deliver us from death. In the greatest way you have delivered us from eternal separation from you, by your own death and resurrection. We are saved and safe now for eternity!
And you save us every day. How many times have you saved me from near accidents, including potential head-on crashes–and how you protected us in the one head-on crash we did have. You are at work in seen and unseen ways, delivering us from death daily.
On another level, you are the One who keeps us alive by supplying our daily bread, often in great abundance. You see our need and provide it. You are the Source of all, you are the Provider of all that is necessary and far more.
Psalm 33:20 “We wait in hope for the LORD;”
[Instead of trying to save ourselves in our feeble strength, it is much wiser to pray and wait for you to act, Lord, and then join you in it.
Sometimes we wait for a long time, but you are faithful and will act at the right time, just as you did with Joseph. You kept him in prison until he had learned all that was necessary. Then at the right moment you brought him out, ready for the great work for which you had prepared him.
In you there is hope, a certainty of provision at the right time, the hope of love moved by wisdom and power to bring about what is best.]
“he is our help and our shield.”
[Your mighty, majestic power moves in love to support us in our weakness. You consistently pour out grace, wisdom, insight, peace, joy and rest upon us. Out of your superb strength you move to shield us from the attacks of the enemy, from all that would harm us spiritually. You hold your hand of power over us to ward off the evil one and evil men. Only you are our true help and shield.]
You are the God who is beyond our dreams, beyond our hopes, beyond our understanding. You are Great and Powerful, Glorious and Perfect, Gracious and Pure. You are the fulfillment of every longing of our hearts and far more. Glory and honor certainly belong to you alone! May they flow from my life to you today.]
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, outdoor

Psalm 33:18

Psalm 33:18 “But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,”
[It is wise to choose to fear You, Lord, rather than people. This means to stand in awe of your wisdom, to care deeply what you think about each thing, and to live in submission to your Truth rather than culture or personal preference. Fearing you leads us to choose what is right, rather than just what is comfortable.
Our hope must be in your gracious and good heart of love, not in people, or circumstances or our own efforts. We must choose to come to you in each situation, to seek your help, to rest in and trust in you. Then you will act on our behalf. You call us to an active partnership role, to live in responses of faith.
King Jehoshaphat demonstrated this for us in 2 Chronicles 20 when he was suddenly confronted by a massive invading army. He chose to fear you rather than the enemy and demonstrated this by immediately coming to you for help and guidance rather than turning first to his generals. He proclaimed a fast and call all of Judah to prayer with him.
He then demonstrated his trust of you by sending a choir out before his army to sing praises to you. And as the choir began to sing, you caused the enemy soldiers to turn on each other and the whole attacking army was destroyed.
You saved Jehoshaphat and his people by your power poured out in response to praise generated by trust that flowed from fearing you.]
Lord help us to find our hope in you, to fear you rather than whatever threatens us. Help us to actively trust you by coming to you first in any challenge, and by offering praise to your name instead of complaining and living in fear, hopelessness and despair.
May we walk in the light of the truth that, “The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining on ever more brightly until the full light of day” (Prov. 4:18).
Image may contain: sky, tree, outdoor and nature