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Strength in Weakness

 
Here’s an entry in my worship journal from several years ago during a difficult time of my life:
 
Lord, we are weak; in ourselves we are defenseless against the wiles of the enemy. You are the only One to whom we turn, for you are our Rock, our Fortress, our Defender. You are our Shelter, our Shield, our Strength and our Stronghold. Help us to quickly seek refuge in you when trouble comes, to trust you, to join you in what you are doing and to be more than conquerors in you.
 
Lord, there are a number of difficult situations going on around me now that weigh on my heart:
–A previously successful team has been torn apart by internal conflicts
–A newly married wife has left her husband.
–A leader is under great pressure personally, in his work and in his leading.
–A disciple is being hit with multiple disappointments and injustice.
 
I pray for each one with these thoughts from Psalm 37 and 2 Corinthians 12:9,10
–May each person involved hear what God is saying and heed Him.
–May they “trust in the Lord and do good.”
–May they “delight themselves in God” so that He may place proper desires in their hearts and then “give them the desires of their hearts.”
–May they “commit their ways to the Lord and trust in Him.”
–May He “bring forth their righteousness as the light, their judgment as the noon day sun.”
–May they delight in their weaknesses so Christ’s power can come on them.
–May they willingly be broken (learning to trust in God, not in themselves).
–May God thwart the plans of Satan in each person’s life.
–May there be repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation on every level.
–May God be glorified rather than shamed by the outcomes.
 
I praise you, Father, that in each case you are there, at work, chastening and protecting, shaping and guiding, exposing and shielding. Lord, help each one to turn to you, to follow hard after you, to embrace their suffering, disappointment and pressure, to take up and use your grace.
 
I praise you that our eyes must be on you, for we know not what to do. To be weak is unpleasant, but it is good when we are driven into your arms, into your truth, into your goodness, into prayer and into your Word. May that be my response and that of each one involved in these difficulties.
 
I praise you now, Lord, for your gracious provision before I see it worked out. You have a plan in each of these problems, and will bring it to pass. Thank you, that you are the Almighty One who breathed the stars, who holds every atom together, who loves your children and answers prayer. To you be glory for what you are doing in each of these people–and in me.
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Psalm 103:1-4

From EDIFIED!
 
“Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!” (Psalm 103:1 NKJV). You, King Jesus, the mighty Ruler, administer a Kingdom of light where blessings flow all the time. You are the One who is to be praised!
Without reservation, all of my being praises you, for you are worthy of total submission, absolute surrender and whole-hearted service: you are grandly good, purely positive and persistently patient. Every part of me – my mind, my will, my emotions, my spirit and my body – rejoices in you, exalts you, extols you, exults in you–for You are worthy of this and far more.
 
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits” (Ps. 103:2). You are to be praised and lifted up for your goodness shown in how you poured out your gifts upon your enemies: you have given us eternal life, eternal comfort, eternal provision, eternal presence, eternal joy.
 
“Who forgives all your iniquities” (Ps. 103:3a); there is not one unforgiven sin left in our lives—you took all our guilt, all our shame, all our condemnation, our full record of wrongs, and nullified their power to condemn us. Forgiveness sets us free, separates us from sin, superimposes your righteousness on our record. We stand in your righteousness before the great Judge who declares, “You are forgiven, enter into my joy!”
 
“Who heals all your diseases…” (Ps. 103:2b). You are the great Physician, the Maker of our bodies. You know just how to heal what you have created, even we creatures who are warped and twisted by sin. You heal some diseases now, some after teaching us, shaping us and changing us, and some you will heal at death. In your wisdom you do what is best.
 
“Who redeems your life from destruction…” (Ps. 103:4a). We lived in destruction, under the power of the destroyer, heading towards eternal devastation, existing only in the living death of time without you, Lord. But you bought us; you snatched us off the disassembly line moving inexorably towards the pit; you translated us into the light of your Kingdom and made us your beloved, cherished children.
 
“Who crowns us with loving kindness and and tender mercies.” You have not only made us your children, but have crowned us a princes and princesses. You are so kind, so lavishly loving, so gracious to us.
 
Your gifts are many, multiple, magnificent, and marvelous. You are the God of promise, of persistence and provision. We lift up your name in praise for your gorgeous heart, your glorious love, your great and good gifts. You alone are worthy of worship, all through today and every day.
 
Prayer: “May you be glorified in my life today as I live consciously in this lavish love of yours, O Lord God Almighty. Amen.”
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Beginnings of Difficulties

In January of 1986, the believers in a small church in the south of the country were arrested and kept in jail for a week. Although we had no details, we knew it was the normal practice of the police to torture those arrested. As one of our local friends said, “They have to beat us some to bring us to our senses.”
 
As a result of the arrests and subsequent pressures put on them, those believers were intimidated and the little church fell apart. The police were encouraged by these results.
A year later, the pressure moved closer to home. Early one morning, the police began to arrest the believers in our city, one-by-one.
 
It all actually began with the apprehension of a car thief, whom Ivan had witnessed to. In order to get the attention off himself, the car thief told all he knew about the believers in the city.
 
With their mistaken ideas about Christianity, it sounded to the police like this was an illegal group of political activists, so they began to round them up.
 
By Sunday they had arrested several believers, including Harry, Ivan, Orin and Mr. Smith, plus some people who had merely shown interest in the gospel. They also visited the home of one worker, hoping to arrest him also, but he was away at the time.
 
We had to piece the story together from the newspaper articles and from what scant information we could get from distraught relatives. Much of what was in the papers was quite distorted and made those arrested sound like a group of terrorists.
 
We knew that it was very possible for us workers to be taken next, so I made preparations. Although I was very willing to go, I asked the Lord if I might just finish out the week of teaching, since it was the end of the semester; He graciously granted that desire.
 
On Thursday evening we got a call from a joyous believer, saying that all but one had been released and all charges had been dropped. The one person left in police custody was not a believer, but was someone who had been witnessed to. However, earlier, he actually had been involved in a terrorist group so was being investigated further. We praised the Lord that the authorities were able to see him as separate from the rest.
In the days that followed, I interviewed each one who had been arrested in order to put the whole story together and to be prepared for the next attack.
 
We knew from previous events that Satan would, after this frontal attack, try to attack from within by getting those who had been arrested to accuse each other. This was not long in coming; two had denied their faith and were very angry with those who had been so open in what they told the police.
 
We arranged a gathering for all those involved, giving them the opportunity to talk through their differences . It was a “hot” time, especially for Harry. Ivan, the first to be taken in, had given very little information, even when some “discomfort” was applied; he was a tough character, able to take the pressure the police put on him.
 
Harry, however, decided to be open right from the beginning, for he felt he had nothing to hide. He was helped along in this by the fact that the police found his address book with the names of most of the believers and workers, and he had to explain who all the people were.
 
We had asked Harry not to keep such a record of names and addresses, but he hadn’t listened. We, as workers, often did not even know each other’s last names or actual addresses so that when pressed by the authorities, we could say truthfully we didn’t know.
 
At first the police didn’t believe that Harry was leveling with them and applied a bit of “pressure:” hanging him handcuffed from a pipe, spraying him with cold water and applying an electric cattle prod to sensitive areas to encourage him to be truthful. However, when they saw that he was truly aboveboard in his responses, they abandoned that tactic.
 
Harry took the police to the homes of four believers, and gave full details about the fellowship and the situation there, including our names and addresses. In the eyes of some, this was betrayal, especially according to those who had denied their faith or had lied.
 
However, the final outcome was an acquittal of Harry’s approach. The prosecuting attorney wrote a powerful defense of our freedom of religion, including the right to meet, witness, and spread our faith. The authorities who dealt with the four who stood firm saw clearly that they were people who had done nothing wrong. From this standpoint the net result was a victory.
 
Those who had denied their faith, or lied, however, failed the test. This, in and of itself, was not bad, for only when our faith is tested can we see whether it is real or not. We hoped that those who failed would truly repent, as the Apostle Peter did and press on with the Lord.
 
We talked together as a fellowship about what the Lord was doing through this, uncomfortable as it was. We had to take our cue from Scripture: “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom. 5:3-4 – emphasis added). But in the end, for some, that hope did not materialize.
Ivan, who was already under church discipline, expected to be welcomed back in because he didn’t deny Christ or “betray” anyone. However, he failed to see that his lack of obedience and discretion had unnecessarily precipitated the whole event. Everyone else saw this and said so.
 
Ivan was very surprised at this reaction, and tried to defend himself. When we stood firm, he threatened us. Later on, though, after several encounters, he stated that he saw how bad his actions had been and wanted to change. I wish that had been true.
The person who emerged from this as the spiritual one was Orin. His love of Scripture and his persistence in memorizing and meditating had prepared him for just such an event, and he shone.
 
He was not at all the hero type, being such a shy man and a complete gentleman. He just quietly – and I may say, joyfully – answered most of the questions put to him by quoting appropriate verses.
 
For instance, when asked what he thought of Islam, he replied with I Thessalonians 5:16-22: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.”
 
What could the police do with that? They just diligently wrote down everything he said!
 
When he returned home, however, his wife really gave it to him for all the trouble and shame he’d brought on his family. He quietly waited three days and then politely told her to stop haranguing him and she did! We hoped that she would carefully read the prosecuting attorney’s report and see how Orin did what was right before God and before the law.
Barbara and a local friend

Psalm 29:11b

 
Psalm 29:11b, “the LORD blesses his people with peace.”
[You, Lord Jesus, are the Prince of Peace, the Purchaser of Peace, the Purveyor of Peace. I praise you that, in your willing sacrifice for our sins, you opened the way for a three dimensional peace—peace with you, peace with ourselves and peace with others.
Thank you that you have placed in our hands the power to provide peace through forgiveness. With this might we can move against the way of this twisted world where we naturally seek revenge, hold grudges and strike back.
Instead we can be both grace receivers and grace givers—as in the picture below, drawn by Nat–receiving your forgiveness as we confess and repent; extending forgiveness to ourselves and to others as you have forgiven us. In this way we are passing on your grace by doing what is healing and gracious, freeing and equipping.
In this you have richly blessed us, displaying your marvelous love in your kind, transforming forgiveness, offered to all, efficacious to everyone who receives it.
I praise you for your love that is higher than the heavens, wider than the universe, longer than eternity, deeper than our imagination.
I praise you now for what will come to pass today and what will not, for success and failure, for opportunities to forgive myself and others, thereby giving you glory and passing on your blessings to others.
You are worthy of our worship and love, our praise and honor, our surrender and obedience. May we live in these continually, exalting your name before the nations, before the unseen hosts of angels and the domain of the devil.
May our obedience to what we know to be right bring you honor in all, Lord Jesus, as we confess our sins to you and receive your forgiveness, as we forgive ourselves and forgive others, bringing peace to all around us.
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King of All

 
Psalm 29:10 The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;”
 
[You, O Yahweh, as Creator, Sustainer and Ender of all, sit above the flood of time, the flood of events, the flood of nations and peoples. You are unchanging, without age, without growth or alteration, for you are timeless perfection itself. You are mighty, all knowing and all seeing, for you dwell outside of time, you reign over time, and will end time, ushering in eternity. You are the Most High, the Almighty Creator, the Everlasting God.]
 
“the LORD is enthroned as King forever.”
 
[There is no end to your righteous rule: your dominion extends through all eternity, your power will never diminish, your plans will always work out. No one can defeat you, no one can fool you, no one can out think you. You are our Savior forever, the coming Judge, the wholehearted Forgiver and the Good Shepherd. To you belongs all honor and glory and awe.]
 
Psalm 29:11 “The LORD gives strength to his people;”
 
[You in your good graciousness draw us into your embrace and share your power with your people, even though we deserve the opposite. We are by nature rebels, evil, worthy of punishment, failure, suffering and death.
 
But in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are called, cleansed, claimed as your people, commissioned and equipped to special service and cherished as your children. You pour your strength into each area of our lives: spiritual, intellectual, volitional, emotional, physical, social and financial. Therefore, we can continually move forward even when all human resources fail.
 
Praise you, Lord, for all your gracious love and provision. You are totally worthy of honor, of worship, of obedience, and I bow before you today, to walk in happy submission, joining you in what you will do, praising you in and for all.
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Awe

I praise you, Heavenly Father, for your very personal, present and powerful working in the framework of my day and all its details. Yesterday was very full and busy, with you working it all out, right down to the minute in getting each thing done in time.
 
It’s so good to know you, Lord Jesus, the God of love and light, of goodness and grace, of forgiveness and favor, of joy and justice, of righteousness and release.
 
I revel in the truth that you have a plan and a purpose for me and each of your children in this day–and the power to bring them to pass.
 
I praise you for your rich, active and consistent love, laced with patience, spiced with wisdom and empowered with grace.
 
To you belongs surrender in worship, honor in thought, obedience in action, and exaltation in word. May these all flow from my life to you today so those around me may taste of your goodness.
 
May they be refreshed by the fragrance of the Holy Spirit spilling over onto them as I respond to your guidance, resting in your goodness and offering the sacrifice of thanksgiving in each situation. When they meet me, may they meet you, too, Lord Jesus.
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Psalm 29:4b-9

Psalm 29:4 “the voice of the LORD is majestic.”
 
[To stand under the darkened sky, to see the great shafts of lightening flash to the earth, to hear the powerful peals of thunder as they make the ground shake–this is to see a tiny piece of your majestic, your overwhelming greatness, Lord. You are awesomely magnificent and incomprehensibly powerful.]
 
Psalm 29:5 “The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.”
 
[The power of a storm, the breath of your mouth, can smash the greatest cedar trees; you are unbelievably strong, Lord. We cannot begin to grasp the power of your Person, the might of your mind, the strength of your Spirit. A storm like this gives only a tiny inkling of your mighty hand’s ability.]
 
Psalm 29:6 “He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox.”
 
[By your power you can shake a land with earthquakes, move mountains, shift and split the landscape. You are great, O God.]
 
Psalm 29:7,8 “The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh.”
 
[Your power moves over the landscape, from the mountains of Lebanon to the great deserts, sweeping away all in your path.]
 
Psalm 29:9 “The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forests bare.”
 
[Where you have passed, all is carried away, the leaves are gone, the trees stand gaunt. You power is displayed, your might is manifest, our hearts are stirred, and we are filled with awe and fear, reminded of our smallness and your greatness.]
“And in his temple all cry, ‘Glory!’ “
 
[You, O Lord God, are Awesome, Overwhelming, Majestic, Powerful, Strong and Mighty. You are worthy of worship, worthy of glory, worthy of our surrender, awe and fear.
 
We confess our foolish pride, repent of our fruitless rebellion and bow before you, the Worthy and Mighty One. We submit ourselves to you, we rise up to serve you today in joyful obedience, joining you whole-heartedly in what you are doing in and around us. May you, the all-powerful One, be lifted up and exalted in our lives today!
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Psalm 29:2-4

 
Psalm 29:2 “Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;”
 
[You, Lord God, deserve all glory, all honor, all praise, all worship, all adoration, for you are the glorious and powerful One, the perfect One, the pure One–the only good God.
 
Glory flows from you as light flows from the sun. In giving you worship and honor we are simply reflecting your glory back to you as the moon reflects sun’s shine, illuminating the darkness of the night.]
 
“worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.”
 
[You, Lord, are glowing in your perfection, shining in your purity, radiant in your otherness, enlightening in your difference from any of your creatures, for you are the Creator of all. You are the Initiator of time, the Sustainer of history, the Terminator of time, the Savior of all and the Shepherd of those who believe.
 
Therefore, since you are marvelously worthy, we bow before you in admiration, we fall on our faces in worship, we raise our hands in praise, we lift up your Name in awe. We give you honor, glory and exaltation, for you are splendid.
 
Psalm 29:3 “The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.”
 
[You, O Lord God, are mighty. You, the Ruler, displaying your greatness and the power of your voice in storms over the mighty waters of the seas. Such storms can make waves a hundred feet high, crashing down on the shore, tearing down rocky cliffs, washing away shorelines, sending spray high into the air, rushing inland to wipe away all in their path. You, O Lord, are more mighty than that, more mighty than we can imagine.]
 
Psalm 29:4 “The voice of the LORD is powerful;”
 
[With your voice you created the heavens, the earth, the stars: “By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth” (Ps. 33:6).
 
With your Word you established laws and set limits. “Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm” (Ps. 33:8,9). You are unbelievably powerful, shaping and shaking the earth with your voice. You are awesome and overwhelmingly powerful.]
 
As we see your majestic and magnificent might in your creation, and see the sublime splendor of your character, Lord, may we today live in awe, act in wonder, obey in joy and honor you in thought, word and deed.
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Psalm 29:1

Psalm 29:1 A Psalm of David.
 
“Ascribe to the LORD,”
 
[ O LORD, Yahweh, we proclaim that you are the source of all possible positives. We attribute to you all the beauty and goodness in the world. We declare that you are righteous, holy and without fault, shouting out before men and angels that you are perfect, pure and powerful, the Paragon of excellence.]
 
“O mighty ones,”
 
[Angels, great in strength, and humans who are, on their level, have some power, with resources and influence, should freely and eagerly assert that You, Lord God, are the Most High, the Almighty, the Eternal King. In spite of their measure of power, the strength of men and angels is monumentally minuscule compared to yours. Which of them could create even a small star like our sun?]
 
“ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.”
 
[We declare, O Lord, that all glory and strength flow from you, the Majestic and Mighty One. You are glorious in your greatness, in your grace and your goodness. You are glorious because in you there is no evil, no darkness, no wrong, no sin. You are glorious as you shine out from your Being in holiness, purity and goodness. You, the glorious One, are full of light and splendor, majesty and might; there is no other like you.
 
We see your strength in your speaking the stars into existence, forming the world with your Word, setting it in place, in orbit, in proper tilt to support the carbon-based life you created.
 
Praise be to you, Lord God, for your infinite, immeasurable, eternal, irresistible, unthwartable power. All might flows from you, from the level of sub atomic particles to the greatest stars and the huge galaxies–you are the Creator, you are the Source, the Sustainer who is worthy of worship.
 
So, we bow before you this morning, surrendering to you the day you have given us, acknowledging our weakness, our ignorance, our neediness, so that in you we may be strong.
 
Help us to keep on your armor, to fight the right enemy with praise, prayer and persistence in obedience, thinking truth and living in the light of your presence. May we bring joy to your heart and credit to your name in all we do. I praise you now for your answers to this prayer. Amen.]
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Anger 2

More on being set free from anger
 
Another helpful illustration the Lord gave me was the idea of anger being like a stairway leading to nowhere. When something bothers me, I unknowingly go up one step; then another thing happens and I’m up two steps. Then an aggravation takes me to the third step where the hot fire of anger is stoked by some word or happening–like seeing the pinstripes on the car–and I quickly go up the last two steps and fall over the edge into full-fledged, self-centered, destructive anger.
 
I had to learn to recognize when I was on step one, two or three and go back down through confession, repentance and surrender.
 
Journaling helped a great deal with this, as the issues could be clarified and I could rewrite the event from God’s point of view—He always has a larger purpose for each thing he allows into our lives.
 
Think of Joseph in Genesis: sold as a slave so he could learn administration and eventually be promoted to being the Prime Minister of Egypt. Recognizing God’s power and providence, I could respond with praise instead of anger. To go down was to step into freedom from anger rather than being controlled by anger. Stepping down early was critical, for once I got to step four it was almost impossible to turn back.
On thing that hampered my going back down these steps from anger into freedom was my great desire for personal justice and significance. Anything that smacked of injustice toward me or that in my opinion took away my dignity would trigger a flash of anger. I hated it when people would accuse me of something I didn’t do and would quickly set them straight.
 
The Lord worked patiently over the years to show me that He is only the source of true justice, and that in this world there will be precious little of it meted out by people. He led me to find my rest in Him rather than in getting justice. Psalm 62:1 became one of my favorite and oft quoted verses: “My soul finds rest in God alone….”
 
The same is true of significance. Jesus is all I need. Think of all the ways that He has offered me (and all of us) significance. We were created in the image of God—that one factor in itself bestows great importance on us. And if we have become followers of Jesus, we were chosen before the foundation of the world, adopted into the family of God and commissioned to special service for Him.
 
We are delighted in, dearly loved, deeply cared for and doted on by God—what more could I want? It was a process to take my attention off of the natural and focus it on these eternal truths. The Spirit consistently drew me on into freedom by persistently directing my attention to the fact that, “My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock and refuge” (Ps. 62:7).
The unholy union of my lust for significance and anger was exposed one day by a flash of insight from God. Barbara and I were on a trip and, having arrived at a major fork in the road, we were presented with two possibilities for lunch. The restaurant on the left was owned by an expensive bus company, so I knew a meal there would be more than I wanted to pay. The other restaurant looked like a better choice, so we went there.
 
After finishing our meal, the waiter brought the check. It turned out to be twice what I expected and anger began to rise inside, that familiar hot flash. But then came another flash, this time of insight and I suddenly saw the source my anger. In being overcharged, I felt like a fool for being taken advantage of; I hated both feeling like a fool and being taken advantage of. However, just as quickly that verse came to mind: “My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge” (Ps. 62:7).
 
This was a divine intervention changing both my perspective and my thinking, bringing me out into the freedom God had for me. This was one of the “Aha” moments where truth gets grasped on an emotional as well as an intellectual level.
I calmly took out my wallet and paid the bill. As the waiter walked away, Barbara said, “What happened to you? Why didn’t you get angry?”
 
“Because,” I said, smiling broadly, “I realized that the reason I get angry is that my significance gets snatched away. But the Lord just showed me that no one can actually do that: He gives me all the honor, dignity and significance I need!”
 
She was amazed–and thankful. I’d embarrassed her more than once in arguing with a waiter over an injustice in our bill. So the Lord was setting me free from anger and, as a result, Barbara was set free from the embarrassment I had often caused her.
 
Anger as an emotion is not necessarily a sin. It is more fundamentally a warning: “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” What is wrong may be external–someone attacking– or internal, as when I feel slighted. In either case, we need to act in wisdom to deal with the actual problem, not spill our anger out on others.
 
I was very thankful for this deep work God did in me, for the events to come would require me to have a calm, trusting spirit in order to cooperate with God.
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