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Come Here, My Daughter!

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“Come here, my daughter. Sit with me and let’s talk.”

She came, hesitantly, and sat down cautiously with Him on the great seat, just a little back from Him.

“I see fear in your face,” He said tenderly. “Tell me, what is it you fear?”

She lowered her head, “I… I,” she faltered, “I am afraid of being left alone.  I am afraid that things will not go well.” She stopped, thoughtful, “And I am afraid that people will disapprove of me.”

“Hmmm,” He said, “So how are you trying to protect yourself from these fears?”

“Well, I hadn’t really thought that I was doing that.”

“You are right my daughter, you haven’t thought clearly about this. You are acting on what you feel, not on what you think. It is important to think on these things. I never intended for you to be ruled by fear.”

“Yes,” she said, straightening up a bit, “I should think about this. I guess I try to deal with my fear of being left alone by holding onto those around me. That is, I try to get them to do what makes me feel safe.”

“What things make you feel safe?” He asked, smiling kindly.

“Well, when everything is orderly and clean. When my family does things the way I think they should be done. And when our finances are in order.”

“Hmmm, So you are the measure of right and when you succeed in controlling others you are secure. That sounds a bit self-centered I’d say.”

She hung her head. “I’d not thought of it in that way.”

“What about your fear of people’s disapproval; tell me about that.”

“Well, I don’t want to appear foolish or incompetent. I also don’t want my family to look that way either. I want people to think well of us, that we are successful and have it together.”

He nodded understandingly. “And how do you go about accomplishing this?”

She thought for a moment. “For one thing, I want my husband to be right, so I correct him when he makes wrong statements. For another, if he isn’t doing things the way I want, I put pressure on him to conform.”

“So, you are being his leader?”

She looked startled. “I hadn’t thought of it in that way,” she said. “I think of myself as helping him.” She looked up at him, “But you don’t think that, do you?”

“Now you are thinking well, my daughter; you are beginning to see truth. I have put you two together to share your gifting, your strengths, and your learned wisdom.  I also gave you specific roles. Your husband is to lead. You are to be the helper,” He paused and waited.

She looked down, “And you think I’m not playing my role.” He was silent. She shook her head, then continued, “Well, I just have this push inside to make sure things go right!”

“Go right?” He asked. “Right according to….?”

She blushed, “Well, according to me, I guess.”

“Good, honest answer. Now you must understand that I did not call you into this marriage to do things according to you. I called you to play a role according to my Word. It is your role to be your husband’s helper, not his guide, or manager or conscience, or teacher.” He paused.  “Has playing these roles made you happy? Have they brought contentment and peace?”

She shook her head.

“That is another good, honest answer. You know that I offer you peace and joy, hope and love, but you must trust me to have them. Are you trusting me?”

She was silent, then shook her head.

“You are right. You fear losing things instead of looking to me to supply them. Only I can give you the security you need. I will never leave you or forsake you. I will never abandon you. I will never fail to supply what you need. I will never take away my love, approval or my delight in you. I am your Shepherd and I care for my sheep.”

She was crying now. “What should I do?”

“Repent of your fear, encourage yourself in my Word. Psalm 23 will give you much help. Stop trying to control events and people, especially your husband. Start following his lead. Ask his forgiveness.” He reached out and put His hand under her chin, lifting her face to Him. “And believe that my love is enough.”

She nodded.

“And one last thing, Memorize Romans 15:13 and pray through it every day.”

He reached down and hugged her. “Now back to your family. Go in my love, go in my strength, go in my peace.”

 

Things To Teach Our Children Part 4

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The Greatness of God

I leaned down and looked more closely at the little face peeking up at me. The bright yellow of the daffodil invited me to touch it; the petals had a silky smooth texture, cool and pleasant to feel.

I straightened up, marveling at how much beauty the Lord shares with us in the flowers He has created. He could have made them plain, without color, all the same, in black and white, but He chose to make a wide variety of shapes, and sizes, scents and colors.  The beauty around us shows the greatness of God.

As we cultivate our awareness of God by observing His creation, we should be sharing this with our children, giving them a sense of wonder at God’s great wisdom, creativity, power and love.

Take time to examine flowers with them.

Go out at night and look up at the skies, tell them about the number of stars in our galaxy (billions), about the Milky Way’s diameter (100,000 light years), how important the moon is to life on earth, how God wisely placed it there to give regulation to the tides which work to keep the oceans clean. And how it protects us from meteors.

Tell them how God set the earth at just the right distance from the sun, tilted its axis just enough to make the seasons, spun it at the right speed giving us the needed time for rest at night and gave it the right pace to circle the sun in year of the needed length. This is all evidence of the greatness of God.

Always be nurturing your own understanding of God’s greatness, intentionally learning more of the wise and precise preparation God made for life on earth. Recently I read that there are over 50 specific conditions in the  universe that have to be exactly, precisely, minutely right for the earth to support carbon-based life. For example, if the force of gravity were shifted a tiny percentage, the earth and sun could not exist as they are. The percent? .00000000000000000000000000000000000001%!  After the period there are 37 zeros there! I don’t even know how to read that number!  But God set gravity at exactly the right balance so we could exist. He is a God of precision, of greatness!

Such learning and marveling  is an application of Psalm 19’s admonition to survey the works of God and hear what He’s saying to us.

Truly, as we see more and more of the wonder of His creation, we can have a growing grasp of the greatness of His being, His power, His wisdom, His creativity, His goodness.   We can then be sharing this with our children all the time, building up within them the grasp of the greatness of God.

Things To Teach Our Children Part 1

1.  Help our children to understand that we love them unconditionally.

Her father leaned back from the table. “Well, that was an ok meal,” he said, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Yea, it was ok, but the peas were too small. Hopefully you’d do better the next time.” The daughter sighed. Another failure. Having a father who could not be pleased communicated conditional acceptance and love.

To this day this woman lives with fear of failure and a drive for the standard of perfection her father gave her. This places intolerable burdens on her and all around her. It also reinforces a negative view of herself because her father’s conditional love communicated inadequacy.

To love our children unconditionally means that we separate our love for them from our disapproval of their wrong actions. We personally told our children that no matter what they did, we would love them just the same. We refused to link our approval of them to their performance.  Instead of responding to disobedience with, “You are a bad boy!” we learned to say, “You know, son, I love you very much, and will love you no matter what you do. And because I love you, I’m going to discipline you for the wrong thing you just did.”

When a child knows he or she is loved unconditionally, there is a strong incentive to please the parents. Because the child feels secure in his parents’ love, he has much less reason to “act up.” The child gains an innate sense of worth, especially bestowed by the father’s love. The child is also much more open to correction because he knows it does not concern his acceptance. Plus, we all make mistakes as parents; our children know this, and if we love them unconditionally, they will be much more willing to forgive us! And most importantly, unconditional love helps the child to understand the love of God that is not only unconditional, but contra-conditional, against all logic, yet full, rich, powerful and eternal.

Read Part 2 >

Sponges or Springs?

We have a choice to be takers or givers. As born-again believers, God has given us all we need to live godly lives.  2Pe 1:3  “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

Among His provision are all the patience, peace, significance and security we’ll ever need. If we take up and appropriate these grace gifts, we will not only have enough for ourselves, but can freely, endlessly pour these out on others as well.

However, it is our nature to seek these basic desires of life in other places than in God. Our lust for significance and security results in us scrabbling  with others on the streets of life for crumbs of importance and feelings of safety.  We are like sponges, trying to absorb every drop of approval, attention, protection and help we can from those around us.

In contrast, if we come to grasp and accept how much we are loved in Christ, how much He has provided for us, and accept it, then we will become springs of blessing to those around us, constantly giving rather than taking. Our difficulties in life will only increase the flow of this grace through us.

As it says in Psalm 84:5-7 “Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. [not on just living for this world]

“As they pass through the Valley of Baca,” [that is, the valley of weeping, of difficulty]
“they make it a place of springs;” [our response of trust and praise in difficulty make it a place of blessing to others].
“the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.” [Since our strength is in God, there is no end to it flowing into our lives and then out into the lives of those around us.]

It is up to us to take the time to pray as Paul did in Ephesians 3:17b-19, “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

As God answers that prayer, and we cooperate in worship and faith, we will be filled with His fullness. We will then be able to respond differently to the pressure of life and thereby be a fresh, ever flowing spring, pouring out patience, grace, goodness, wisdom and love on all around us.

When others compete with us for prestige, power and position, when they seek security and safety by competing, attacking, comparing and denigrating, how will we respond? Will we be a sponge, competing also, seeking to suck out of them what they also desire? Or will we be a spring of blessing to them, appropriating His power by going to the great storehouse of God’s grace and drawing from the unlimited significance and security He has bought for us? And share these with others?

The choice is ours, being self-centered sponge or a Christ-centered spring.

 

A Trinity of Insights Revealing the Diamond of God's Character

To have a continually growing knowledge of the greatness of God requires a trinity of insights, which the Holy Spirit is ready to give to those who seek them in Jesus.

First is seeing more of the makeup of God through His Word and His work in our lives. His beautiful, sparkling character is like a huge, multifaceted, perfectly cut diamond.  If we were to set such a diamond in a stand on a table, it would be marvelous and majestic in its greatness and intricacy as it caught and reflected the light of the room. So it is as we delve into the Word and see more and more of God’s person.

Second is a growing knowledge of our natural depravity as we stand in the light of His presence. If we were to drape a black velvet cloth under and behind the diamond of God’s character, the contrast would bring out more powerfully the richness of His beauty.

So a growing understanding of the depravity of our flesh[1] shows us more clearly and deeply the wonder of a God who is holy,  hates and judges sin, and yet loves and redeems sinners at great personal cost. We cannot begin to grasp the expense, the wonder, the power, the beauty of God’s love if we forget where He has brought us from; no, we need a growing understanding of what we were and what our flesh is.

Third is a growing revelation of how much we are forgiven, how much we are loved and delighted in by God. If we were to set up a focused spotlight to shine directly on the diamond of God’s character with it’s backdrop of black velvet, even more beauty would be revealed: inner facets that before were invisible would be brought to light. The effect would be stunningly, brilliantly, powerfully overwhelming.

So we, in the unpleasant understanding of our depravity and the resulting grasp of how much we are forgiven and loved, can focus the light of praise on God’s greatness. We can exalt Him for pouring out on us His wonderful forgiveness, His rich love, His healing grace and His abundant goodness. We can grasp more of how much we are undeservedly accepted, loved and delighted in.  We see more of how much He has poured upon us His deep love, warm delight and constant care.

Then we will be given new and astounding understanding of His character, leading to further transformation of our character to become more like His. The diamond will then shine forth more powerfully, giving us further reason to love, worship, praise and obey Him.


[1] As Paul walked with Jesus, he grew in his understanding of the depravity of his flesh, going calling himself in his earlier writings the “least of the Apostles”(1 Cor 15:9), then seeing himself as the least of the saints in his middle years (Eph 3:8), then in his old age understanding  that he was the “worst of sinners.” (1 Tim 1:15)

Three Things that Should be Growing in Our Lives, Part 6

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Here’s a second example of worldview clashes:

Mar 10:23-25  “Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, ‘How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!’ The disciples were amazed at his words.”

[WV clash: in the Jewish culture, only the rich had the time and resources to keep all the laws and thereby have any chance of getting to heaven.  Jesus knew this to be utterly false. The law was given not to save us but to reveal our sin and our need of a Savior (Romans 3:20 “…no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.”)

“But Jesus said again, ‘Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.’”

[This is a mind-grabbing illustration of impossibility, designed to totally destroy the disciples WV concerning how one could get salvation].

Mar 10:26  “The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, ‘Who then can be saved?’”

[WV: they struggled to believe Jesus and grasped the consequences: no one can be saved by keeping the law.  However in their worldview, they saw no other possibility].

Mar 10:27  “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.’”

[WV shift: yes, salvation is impossible to achieve for human beings, but God can provide the impossible, including salvation of condemned sinners! The disciples did not yet understand this, but more was coming to help them make the worldview shift from Jewish culture to biblical Truth.

So, to summarize:

A world view is “the framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts in it.” [This quote is used in over 800 publications, so I don’t know who it is actually attributed to.]

In the next post, we’ll look at how to discern your worldview and move towards a biblical one.

Read Part 7 >

Three Things that Should be Growing in Our Lives, Part 4

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We can cooperate with God in having a personal revival in a number of ways.  I will mention only three main ones here.

The first is what we’ve already discussed: by nurturing our first love for Jesus, especially by personal worship using Scripture—that will bring further revelation of His glory as the Spirit uses the Word in our lives.  The Spirit will than use the light of God’s glory to expose of our sin and sins, just as He did with Isaiah; He will then bring a deepening grasp of how much we are forgiven and loved in the Lord Jesus.

Second is simply asking God for a revival in our lives. Ask for it every day.  Since that’s what God wants, He is going to answer.  However, we need to be committed to this, for it can be painful as He begins to strip away the layers of our “goodness” and shows us what lies underneath.

Personally I began asking God for a revival several years ago, and He began answering by giving me an illness—I spent five days in bed, so weak I could only pray.  During this time the Lord showed me 9 different sins He wanted me to deal with more severely.  Among them were laziness, lust, negative thinking/speaking, selfishness, fear of man, worry, fear and jealousy.

It was painful to see how much of a role these played in my life, but as I embraced this revelation and committed myself to dealing more severely with these in the Spirit’s power, obeying what I knew to be true, there was definite movement forward. [there is a more complete explanation of this in my book Knowing Jesus is Enough for Joy, Period! available at www.edifyinservices .com]

As one example, I began to wholeheartedly edit out the negative comments that came to my mind—and there were a lot of them, like, “look at that ugly house, who’d ever want to live there?!!” or “What was she thinking when she bought that dress, it looks awful!”  After a couple of months my wife commented that I wasn’t talking to her as much as I used to. “Yes,” I said, “I’m cutting out about 50% of what I’d like to say because it’s negative and judgmental!”

I found that saying those judgmental things had brought a burden and darkness in my life.  Now things were lighter and I had more time to think and speak positive, edifying things, plus found myself more alert to the Spirit’s guidance.

As I walked in obedience to what I knew of my sin, the Holy Spirit began to point out other sins I needed to confess and forsake.  He brought them to my notice one at a time, so I learned to pay attention to the “next sin to be dealt with.”  The Spirit begins by convicting us gently of a sin, but if we don’t pay attention, He will lovingly bring increasing pressure.  It’s much better to listen carefully and respond early.

The third thing we can do to nurture revival is to “confess ahead.”  That is confess our tendency to sin before we sin.  I have a list of the sins the Spirit has shown me in my personal revival; it has grown from nine to forty-one!  And  remembering the Apostle Paul’s example, I’m sure there’s more to come.

I will take a portion of that list during confession in my quiet time and pray like this, “Lord, you know my tendency to worry, help me instead to flee to you, to praise you and trust you.  You know my tendency to complain, help me instead to praise.  You know my tendency to speak negative, critical thoughts, help me to spot those right off, reject them and to think and speak edifying things to people.”

As I continue to practice these three disciplines (nurturing my first love for Jesus, asking for revival, and confessing ahead), God is answering and moving me on. There is an upward progression each day, a deepening understanding of God’s holiness, my depravity and how much He loves and forgives me.  The black velvet of my sin accents the beautiful diamond of God’s character, sparkling in love, forgiveness and acceptance for all who come.  Without the backdrop of knowing my sin, I could not appreciate or understand the wonderfulness of being forgiven, and how much it cost Jesus to buy it.

As I stand in the light of His presence in worship, accepting His revelation of His goodness and my need for forgiveness, the revival spirals on upward, bringing new insights, new joys and a deeper walk with Him.

Part 5 >

Three Things that Should be Growing in Our Lives, Part 2

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Nurturing your first love for Jesus.

Rev. 2:1-7, Christ’s letter to the church at Ephesus takes us to the core of this topic.  Jesus lists out 9 positive qualities of the Ephesian believers and commends them for them.  Reviewing that list, I would say this was a very healthy congregation.

However, Jesus adds, “Yet I hold this against you: you have forsaken your first love.”  Is that so important, a little loss of passion?  To God it is VERY important: Jesus continues, “Repent!”  Forsaking (leaving) our first love for Jesus is a sin!  In fact it is so serious that it cancels out all the other good we can do. Often we forsake our first love for Jesus because our work, or our ministry, or our family, or sports become the object of our first love.

Jesus goes on to say, “If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”  This means the church will go out of existence—and that is what happened to the church in Ephesus. Forsaking our first love makes us useless for God’s Kingdom.

For God, our first love for Christ is a critical factor: most everything else flows from it.  It is the spring of good motives, of humility, of obedience, of proper good works, of growth and spiritual power.

So, what can you do to nurture your first love for Jesus?  It has to be an intentional pursuit, for it is not something that happens by itself.  Just as un-nurtured love in a marriage withers, so does our love for Jesus when we neglect Him. There are many things we can do to nurture it; I will mention the three most effective ones in my life.

First is personal worship: praising God for who He is without focusing on how His qualities benefit me.  The Lord Jesus is endless in His beauty, greatness, wisdom, power and love.  If we take a Psalm each day and exalt Him for the qualities we see there, it will stoke the fire of our first love for Him. For instance, take Psalm 1:1 “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked.”  I would use this for worship in this way, “Praise be to you, Lord God, that in you there is no wickedness, you can never be tempted to walk in wicked counsel, for you cannot sin, you hate evil and all you do is good.  You are the God worthy of worship in your holiness!”

Second is what I call “basking in the love of Jesus:” repeating to myself the wonder of being God’s child.  By nature all I deserve is condemnation, suffering, pain, failure, death, hell and eternal separation from God (Rom. 7:18, Eph 2:1-3).  In spite of this, and against all logic, He chose me, called me, cleansed me, claimed me as his son, and commissioned me to special service (Eph 1:3-10, Col. 3:12). Now I stand before Him dearly loved, deeply cared for, doted on and delighted in!  This is true for every true follower of Christ. If that doesn’t stir your soul, nothing will.  I willfully let myself feel both sides of that truth, the despair of what I deserve and the wonder of the Creator of the universe being excited to have me as His son!  That causes my love for Him to bloom!  I find it has also brought a deep, profound emotional stability to my life.

Third is praising Him in and for all things–especially for things that naturally I would be upset about.  To do so is a statement of faith: my God is good, He is wise, He has allowed this happening in wisdom, love and grace. (Psalm 50:23, 1 Thes. 5:18)  In it I can give Him glory. Through it I can demonstrate grace to those around me. From it I can grow in faith and obedience.  Such praise lifts my eyes and thoughts from natural seeing and thinking to the Truth: supernatural, spiritual and supreme.

Try these and sense the burgeoning, beautiful growth of your first love for Jesus.  Truly, Knowing Jesus is Enough for Joy, Period—if we choose to live that truth. Be intentional. Be committed. Be wise.  Live like a child of the King, the prince or princess you are!

Outcome of nurturing first love for Christ.

Here is a reliable story, gotten directly from the source, not an internet rumor. This past week a friend’s acquaintance in South Africa took out his garbage one afternoon and was attacked by two masked men.  He was forced into his house, robbed and then stabbed to death.  His wife was also stabbed and left unconscious.  When her pastor visited her in the hospital, he wanted to reach out and comfort her but she showed how God had already covered her with His grace, telling the pastor, “This is a case to believe Romans 8:28.  Our God will work this out for good!”  Now there is a woman who had nurtured her first love for Jesus!  How about us?

Read Part 3 >

Three Things That Should Be Growing in Our Lives Part 1

There are three significant things we should be praying and working towards in our lives, cooperating with the Holy Spirit in seeing them develop.

The initial one is a continual nurturing of our first love for Jesus.  This is the most important one, as from it will flow the other two.  This is what Jesus said he wanted from the church at Ephesus.  He complimented them for their positive points, but said without nurturing their first love, the rest were worthless.

Second is an ongoing, daily revival.  Revival is what will come out of an ever deepening first love, for in our close walk with Jesus, we will daily see more of His holiness, more of our sinfulness (our innate depravity) and more of how much He has forgiven and loves us. This is what Isaiah experienced in chapter 6. The result brought an “undoing” so God could “redo” him and prepare Isaiah for a life long very tough ministry.  So God wants to “undo” us, sometimes in a great crisis or revelation, but more often a little bit each day.  He calls us to cooperate with Him in this venture.

Third is a continual shift of our world view.  As we have renewal of our first love, and an ongoing revival, we are going to be seeing more and more points where the Word clashes with the worldview we grew up with. We will be called upon to choose: will we live the comfortable, self-protective, self-indulgent way of our culture, or will we step out to deny self, take up our cross daily and follow Jesus?

In following entries we’ll look more in depth at these three aspects of our walk with God.

Part 2 >

Is God Fair? Part 3

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In answering the question, “Is God fair?”,  does He give everyone the same things? We have looked at the first two parts of the answer: “No” and “Yes.” Here we look at the final part.

The third answer to this question is another, “No. ” In His dealings with us, God is divinely, magnificently and magnanimously unfair, humanly speaking, in what He gives to His creatures in general and His beloved children in specific. God loves diversity and we see it how He works in our lives. He is able to take the negative effects of the Fall, where all creation was twisted, and use them for good in us.  In this scheme of things each gets what he or she needs.

–Some people He creates with great intelligence, others with simple minds.

–Some are born beautiful, others plain, the rest are somewhere in between.

–Some are born healthy , others with birth defects or serious illnesses.

–Some grow up strong and live long, some die as babies, others die between these two ends of the spectrum.

–Some grow up with many opportunities, some with few, others with none.

–Some have wonderful parents, some are totally neglected and abused, most have average ones.

–Some live in wealth, some in poverty, some in middle class income.

–Some have prominent spiritual gifts, like teaching, or leading, while others have gifts used in the background, like mercy or service.

–Some have leading roles, others do not.

Humanly speaking God is unfair in this, but divinely speaking, we know that He is wise and we can trust Him to do what is best. He knows what challenges each person requires to see his or her need for a Savior, and then to grow spiritually.  He does what is best for each, individually tailoring circumstances and events–very “unfair” from the politically correct perspective, but very loving and wise from God’s perspective of truth and wisdom.

God has distributed roles as He sees fit, much to the consternation of many today. This includes roles in the spiritual (gifts), intellectual and physical realms. Here are some very obvious, yet in our society, often rejected examples of the roles He’s given to men and women.

Men are to procreate. Women are to bear and nurse babies.

Men are generally physically stronger than women and are to protect them.

Men are to teach and lead mixed groups in the Kingdom. Women are to teach and lead women and children in the Kingdom.

Men are voluntarily, wholeheartedly to love, be understanding, nurture & protect their wives. Women are to voluntarily respect and follow their husbands.

Men are to lead their families. Wives are to be a helper to their husbands.

In this “unfair” distribution of roles God knows and does what is best.  We can trust Him in His wisdom, love, grace and sovereignty to give to each person what that one needs to come to Him, to live a useful and meaningful life, to develop in a healthy and effective way.

So is God fair? “No,” “Yes,” and “No.”  Does God have the right to be so?  Absolutely: He is the Creator of all, the Most High, the Almighty, the Beginner and Ender of time.  There is no one who can challenge Him (as Job found in chapters 38- 41 of his book), for the Lord God is perfect in every way.

No human could think up such a wonderful God whose character is multifacetedly perfect and beyond comprehension in His Wisdom, Power and Love. He is completely independent from His creation in His triuneness, where perfect community, love and completeness have existed forever.  This the God who knows what He’s doing and I choose to trust Him!