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Psalm 32:3-5

Psalm 32:3,4 “When I kept silent, [not confessing, not acknowledging my sin] my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; [this is your love, moving us towards repentance.] my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah”
Psalm 32:5 “Then I acknowledged my sin to you [may I ever do so quickly, immediately!] and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”
[Because you are Love, Lord Jesus, because you are Faithful, because you have paid the great price and you love to forgive, we can eagerly and boldly come to you to confess and repent. We are safe in you, we are protected in you, for “you are good and ready to forgive and abounding in mercy to all who call on you” (Ps. 86:5).
Why hold back? Why prolong the painful resistance? And for what? A little more indulging in anger or resentment or lust? We thereby grieve the Spirit and end up with a mouthful of gravel!
Let us instead run to His open arms, eager to lay our sin at His feet, to be forgiven, cleansed and back into fellowship. This is wisdom, this is freedom, and this is what He desires for us–the restoration of our joy in Him.
Praise be to you, Lord Jesus, my great Shepherd, my big Brother, My Lord, my King, my Creator and Sustainer, my God. You are worthy of worship, of honor, of glory and exaltation. May I give you these through whole-hearted faith, quick repentance, immediate obedience and ongoing praise in all things.
Help me to walk in the light of your presence today, Lord, clearly, unreservedly accepting what you have to say to me about my sin and about your love.
May be an image of flower, nature and tree

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Further Learning for the Add-on Eskimo
 
Ayit went to where his father and the others were gathered. The shaman was just finishing
his ceremony and the people were drifting away.
 
“There you are, Ayit,” said his father. “I wondered where you were. Come now, we are staying with Kingeekuk.”
 
Ayit followed his father to the house where they all sat down on the floor. Kingeekuk’s wife and daughters brought them food: walrus meat, fish, tundra greens and sea fruits, along with tea. They talked until late, then all slept together on the sleeping platform.
 
Ayit lay awake thinking about Apa and Jesus, about freedom from the spirits, about how to talk with his father about his new faith; and Jesus gave him an idea.
 
They all woke early and after breakfast, Okfagit went to visit others in the village, exchanging news, asking about hunting, getting hints on where to find seals.
 
Ayit went to visit Kolawi again, as he had questions about his new faith.
 
“What does our Jesus expect from me now?” he asked.
Kolawi thought a bit before answering. “The portion you memorized yesterday gives direction. Can you recite it?” Ayit repeated it exactly as he had heard it.
 
“Faith is Jesus’ gift to us,” said Kolawi. “Then we are to add to it the things he provides, but we must decisively take up and use them. Jesus does not expect ritual or religion. The first thing we are to add, virtue, means agreeing with Jesus. That is, we take his thoughts, his values to be our own. It is a full surrender to him.
 
“The second thing to add to your surrender is knowledge. You need to learn more about him, and this morning I will teach you another passage which will give you a wider view of him.
“The third thing to add is self-control, which means doing what he wants, doing what you are learning, whether you want to or not.
 
“This is then followed by endurance, for when we obey Jesus the spirits are not happy with us and may attack us; and for the same reason, many people will not be happy with us. They will oppose our new faith, for they do not want change and they are afraid of the spirits, of offending them by abandoning the old way. I know this from my own experience with my family and neighbors. But we can endure, press on through these difficulties with Jesus’ help.
 
“Then we are to add godliness, which means becoming like Jesus in our character. As we rely on him in our difficulties, we will be transformed by his Spirit. We will be more loving, more gracious, more kind and more wise.
 
“Then we add brotherly kindness, being good, kind and generous to each other, and add then God’s love, which keeps on even though the other person does not love us back. With God’s love we do good to those who do evil to us.”
 
“This is so different from what we all do now!” said Ayit.
 
“True,” Kolawi agreed. “We might say that the world is upside down, but knowing Jesus turns it right side up! Now, let’s go back to endurance. I want to repeat that when we leave the old ways it makes people afraid, for they think we will offend the spirits by not appeasing them and will bring suffering on the village. But the truth is, Jesus has vanquished the evil spirits and will protect us. Which is subject of the passage I’m going to teach you today.”
 
They talked some more, then Ayit went out to find his father. He was sitting and talking with Nungwook, a great hunter in the village. Nungwook had gotten a whale in the spring and was held in high regard by the other villagers.
 
“Yes, Apa gave me a whale but the spirits took my child shortly after,” he said. “She was a beautiful little girl—seven seasons old—happy, pleasant and hard working. She became sick shortly after the whaling season ended, although we did all we could to make her well.
 
“We changed her name to fool the spirits that were making her sick. We went to the cemetery up on Mount Sivukuk and offered sacrifices to the spirits of our ancestors. And, of course, we called the shaman to perform ceremonies, to use his good helper spirits to drive away the evil spirits who made my daughter sick. But nothing helped. The evil spirits were too strong, and they took my girl, my beautiful little girl!
“Oh, that we had stronger help! Oh, that Apa had used
his power to defeat these spirits that torment us!”
 
Nungwook hung his head and looked so sad. He did not cry, for that was for women, but he was stricken by this loss.
Picture: shaman in his ritual garb with boy he’s trying to heal
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Psalm 32:1-2

Psalm 32 Of David. A maskil.
“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”
[Praise you, Lord God, the Great and Holy One, that you have provided forgiveness for my many sins, wiping clean the record of my multitude of transgressions, including the ones to come.
I thank you, with all my heart, that you took me from being a correctly condemned criminal to being a sovereignly saved son, dearly loved, doted on and delighted in. I praise you for qualifying me to be a partaker of the inheritance of the Saints in the Kingdom of Light–when what I actually deserved was to be cast out into eternal darkness.
What a wonder to be cleansed, transformed, adopted, accepted and delighted in–all contrary to what I actually should have been given! You are truly the God of Grace, the King of Kindness and the Lord of Love.]
Psalm 32:2 “Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.”
[Lord Jesus, I praise you that you not only erased my guilt, taking it upon yourself, but that you consistently work in me to bring transparency, making my spirit one of truth, instead of deceit.
My soul certainly has deceit—I do not like my sin being exposed, even to myself, and naturally seek to cover it up. And there is much hidden there that I don’t even know yet, but I know enough to confess consistently to you: that it is natural for me to be selfish and impatient, impolite and curt, proud and negative, thoughtless and overly focused on self–among many other sins.
Praise you, Lord, that your Spirit works in my spirit and soul to change all this, making me aware of what is wrong so I can abandon it, and what is right, so I can embrace it.
Help me to stand in ever-growing awe of your greatness and goodness, of the unceasing, ever-cleansing flow of grace from your heart, and to fear you, not man.
Help me today to follow the leading of your Spirit and to be wise and effective for you, basking in the truth that you will never count my sin against me and that you are unceasingly at work to move me forward in sanctification. I thank you now for what you will do today, whether it be pleasant or painful, trusting you to do and bring what is best.
 
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From EDIFIED!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him….”
Romans 15:13a
 
Praise be to you, Lord Jesus, King of Peace, God of Grace, Giver of Good. You, in your wisdom have brought to us the possibility of peace, but have left to us the practice of partaking, implementing and enjoying it. You invite us to dine with you at the table of peace; if we refuse to sit down and join you by trusting you, we, by our own choice, will live in peaceless turmoil, worry and fear.
 
I praise you, Lord Jesus, for what you have done in your great Love, Wisdom and Faithfulness, making peace possible. In your passion you have provided for all people a passage from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light. You have made peace available to all by sacrificing yourself.
 
Without you, Lord Jesus, there can be no peace. Without trusting you there can be no rest. You are a wonder, loving your enemies so much that you provided them peace at great personal cost. And in your wisdom you made us responsible for taking up and enjoying that peace through trust and obedience.
 
So now we can have peace, first with you, Heavenly Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ, by confessing our sins, receiving forgiveness and surrendering to you as our Lord.
Then we can have peace within when we forgive ourselves as you have forgiven us.
 
After that we can have peace with others by forgiving them as you have forgiven us, and by asking for forgiveness when we commit an offence against them. The outcome is the release of grace from above, bringing peace within and the flow of peace without, to those around us.
 
This peace is carried on into our day as we trust in you, lifting up the shield of faith by praise, which is the demonstration of our trust in you, for, “You are good and ready to forgive and plenteous in mercy to all those who call upon you” (Ps. 86:5, KJV).
 
“Lord God, King of Peace, help me today to have peace with you, confessing all sin and receiving your forgiveness; to have peace with myself, forgiving myself for my failures and sins because your shed blood covers them; and to have peace with others, forgiving them as you have forgiven me. Help me to walk through this day in peace with all because of your great sacrifice, Lord Jesus. Amen.”
May be an image of sky, tree, twilight, nature and lake

Depression and the way out

After the doctors shocking diagnosis, I said, “OK, Lord, I am going to trust in you. Show me what to do next.”

Immediately Hebrews 12:1-17 came to mind.  This was one of the chapters that Bill Gotthard had recommended for meditation and had entitled it, “Difficulties: where they come from and what to do with them.”  I got out my Bible and began to memorize it in preparation to meditating on it.

Almost from the beginning of this process, answers began to pop out from the page for me.  The first major point was that this depression was proof that God loved me! That was a major worldview shift!

Verses 5 and 6 said, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves…” His discipline, allowing this depression, proved He loved and cared for me. He know what I needed to take the next step up.

That was certainly a new thought, upside down from what is natural—or better put, what is natural is upside down and God’s thoughts are right side up! Clearly, if God loves me, He’d want to confront me on issues that need to be corrected.

Then as I continued memorizing, three important insights emerged that helped me grasp exactly what God is doing in disciplining His children.

The first was from Hebrews 12:9.  “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!”

This word “live” stood out to me–I was barely existing in this depression, not living at all. I looked up the Greek word in a concordance: it means to “live, to be lively, to be quickened.” A commentary I looked in said it meant to “really live.”

Clearly, “really living” was not what I was doing, but just as clearly it is what God wanted for me.  As I thought and prayed about this, it became clear that one purpose of God’s discipline was to show me what was keeping me from really living, what was keeping me from the rich, positive life He had for me, and every other believer.

A second insight was in the next verse, Heb 12:10  “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness.”

So God’s discipline is wise, it is for our good, and it is to share His holiness with us in some practical way. That’s an astounding thought!  He is in some way seeking to help me to live out His holiness in my life.

“Maybe,” I thought, “in helping me to really live, He’s also pointing out what is keeping me from living out His holiness. In this depression God wants to free me to live in the way He has planned for me.” That made things look very different.

Then came a third insight in Hebrews 12:11, my favorite one, for it showed me that God understood how I felt in this ugly depression. It says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.”  I liked that: God wasn’t unfeeling, unknowing or uncaring, but understood fully what I was experiencing.

The verse went on, “Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

So the Lord had peace for me, something I did not have at the moment.  And it was clear that this peace didn’t come from just experiencing discipline, or just going through it, but from intentionally learning from it.

As I lay in bed that night, I prayed, “OK, Lord, what do I need to learn from this? What is keeping me from really living? What do I need to do to cooperate with you?”

The next two verses that I’d memorized gave me direction on how to move ahead.  Hebrews 12:12-13 say,  “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

“OK, Lord, I will gather up my feeble arms and weak knees, get up and go back to work, trusting You to show me how to proceed.”

The next morning I got out of bed and had to literally pry my eyes open with my fingers, my eyelids were so heavy. I got dressed and trudged out to my father’s tire shop, prepared to return to work, trusting God to show me the next step.

Picture: outside the tire shop at the time of my depression

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Psalm 83

In my morning reading I came to Psalm 83 yesterday and found it very relevant to today’s situation, especially considering some of the legislation being considered. These sections from this Psalm are a good prayer for us.
 
“O God, do not remain silent; do not turn a deaf ear, do not stand aloof, O God. See how your enemies growl, how your foes rear their heads.
 
“With cunning they conspire against your people; they plot against those you cherish. ‘Come,’ they say, ‘let us destroy them as a nation….’
 
“With one mind they plot together; they form an alliance against you—Make them like tumbleweed, my God, like chaff before the wind.
 
As fire consumes the forest or a flame sets the mountains ablaze, so pursue them with your tempest and terrify them with your storm. Cover their faces with shame, LORD, SO THAT THEY WILL SEEK YOUR NAME.
 
“May they ever be ashamed and dismayed…LET THEM KNOW that you, whose name is the LORD— that you alone are the Most High over all the earth.” AMEN
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More from the Ad-on Eskimo

The teacher shared some new truth with Ayit. “You will now need to grow in your faith,” he told Ayit. “It is too bad the Bible is not translated into your language—although I am working on translating a few verses—but while you are here, talk much with Kalowi. He can teach you some passeges out of this book. Spend time with him and learn everything you can.”
 
Kalowi then took Ayit to his home where his wife served them tea.
 
“Knowing God’s Word is very important, Ayit,” he said. “So I am going to help you memorize a very sgnificant passage which will give you guidance in growing in your new faith.
“The passage says, ‘Add to your faith virtue, to your virtue knowledge, to your knowledge self-control, to your self-control endurance, to your endurance godliness, to your godliness brotherly kindness and to your brotherly kindness God’s love.’” (2 Peter 1:5-7)
 
Together they worked on it until Ayit could repeat it perfectly. Being from an oral tradition, it was not hard for him to memorize, especially when helped by an elder whom he trusted.
 
“Come and visit me as often as you can while you are hunting here on Sivukuk. I will be here in the village, just ask for me or come to my house.”
 
“I will,” replied Ayit. “I want to learn all I can about Jesus before I go back to my home in Chaplino. I will come again tomorrow.”
 
“Let me pray for you before you go,” said Kalowi.
He paused, then added, “I also want you to know that those who continue to live in the old way will oppose this New Way. The shamans may even attack you. Your father may be angry and disappointed. But such things do not change the reality of Jesus’ love for you, his death and resurrection, and your new life, your eternal life.”
 
Then Kalowi bowed his head and prayed, “Lord Jesus, I thank you for working in Ayit’s life even before he came here, helping him understand that there is a good creator God—and that is what you are. Help Ayit now to stand firm with you, to meet whatever opposition will come with a knowledge of the truth and a strong commitment to follow you, to walk in endurance. I thank you for how you will help him and protect him from the evil spirits. Amen.”
 
“What is ‘amen’?” asked Ayit.
 
“It is what we say at the end of a prayer, and it means ‘may this happen’.”
 
“Amen,” said Ayit as he got up to leave and rejoin his father. “Pray for me.”
 
“I will, every day,” replied Kalowi.
Picture: hunter with his ducks
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Psalm 31:23-24

 
Psalm 31:23 “Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful,”
[There are an infinite number of reasons to love you, LORD Yahweh! Not the least of which is your faithfulness to your Word, to your promises, to your Character, to your love. We can be sure that whatever you allow into our lives, you have a plan, a purpose and will give provision and carry us through.
Because you are faithful, Lord Jesus, as we walk through the valley of darkness, you preserve, protect and deliver those who are faithful, who trust in you, who walk in awe of you, in obedience to your desires, living in the light of your great and holy presence. “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him and delivers them” (Ps. 34:7).]
“but the proud he pays back in full.”
[You will act against those who are proud–including against me if I need it. I praise you, Lord Jesus, that as the Good Shepherd you do rebuke us, correct us, chasten us and punish us when needed to get our attention.
Thank you that you will deal with those who, in pride, act against your children, against your Word, against Truth. Help us to reject pride, to be humble before you, not listening to our hearts, but to you.]
Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”
[When our hope is in you, the Time Beginner, the Star-breather, the Dawn-bringer, the History Ender, we can be strong and encouraged, for you, Lord God, are powerful and good and wise and it is your nature to love.
When my heart is down, discouraged and disappointed, I can find my hope in you, the great and glorious God whose power is immeasurable, whose might is eternal, whose strength is unending, whose love guides all you do: “My soul, find rest in God alone, for my hope comes from him” (Ps. 62:5).
To hope in you is wisdom, to trust you is good, to obey you is freedom, to lift our souls to you is joy.
Praise be to you, Lord God for what you will do today in the plans and events before me. I choose to trust you, honor you and worship you. Be glorified in my life today.]
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Psalm 31:21-22

 
note: I’m having trouble with my pictures being fuzzy because they are small originals. Sorry about that.
 
Psalm 31:21 “Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city.”
[More than once David was trapped in a city (1 Sam. 23:7-13), but each time, in the midst of David’s danger, you, Lord, defended him, you acted to keep him safe when all seemed lost, when he appeared to have no way out.
So you do with us, when we are trapped by tragedy or loss, difficulty or destruction (such as Barbara’s present depression), negativity and evil, you are there, and you show us your wonderful love by giving us a way out. To paraphrase Psalm 46:5, God is within us, we will not fall, He promises to help us at break of day–that is, after the longest, coldest part of the night.
You are the God of hope, who stands ready to “fill us with all joy and peace as we trust in you so that our lives can overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 15:13). Help us to trust before your help comes.]
Psalm 31:22 “In my alarm I said, ‘I am cut off from your sight!’ Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.”
[What seems to be an impossible situation for us is changed when we remember that you are there, Lord, that you are acting behind the scenes and will do what is best. I think of the times we were threatened with expulsion from the country we were working in, but you heard our cry for mercy, Lord, and kept us there for many years more, in spite of the opposition and the plans of high ranking men.
You always are prepared to act at the right time, and you often give us the privilege of going by faith for a while, believing you when we have no outward evidence, and thereby giving you greater glory before all.
Help us to do that daily, obeying your call to: “Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me” (Ps. 50:14,15).]
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Psalm 31:19-20

 
Psalm 31:19 “How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you,”
[“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 1:3).
You, O Lord, know the future and all that will come; you know what is needed for us to stand, and have prepared a rich supply of grace for us. Your one requirement is that we trust you–fear you, stand in awe of you–rather than fear men who speak loudly and destructively.]
“How great is your goodness…which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.”
[As we hide ourselves in you, Lord, you bless us clearly, publicly, visibly. You give grace and peace, you supply our needs, you carry us through difficulties, you protect us from danger (how often have you preserved me in near accidents on the road), you empower us to be more than conquerors rather than just coping.
We can hide in you mainly through thinking the truth of your Word and responding in praise and thanksgiving for what you allow. I give you praise now for your wisdom and goodness as you go before to guide, protect and deliver.]
Psalm 31:20 “In the shelter of your presence you hide them from the intrigues of men; in your dwelling you keep them safe from accusing tongues.”
[To others we may appear to be defenseless and totally vulnerable, but in your unseen presence we are sheltered and shielded. Our responsibility is to stay in your presence, in your refuge of truth, in your Word of wisdom: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty” (Ps. 91:1).
This means that, in the midst of much pressure, we can trust you, praise you and respond to evil with what we know to be right: forgiving, returning good for hurt, resting in the truth that you are doing good in what appears to be bad.
Then, because you delight in us, in your mighty power you will protect us, work to guide and direct us and bring us out into a spacious place. To you be glory and honor, Lord for your goodness, power and love. Help me to dwell in them, rest in them and rejoice in them.]
May be an image of tree, sky and nature