As we draw closer to God, the trajectory of our spiritual life starts to rise. And my life story tells you where it goes: upward and onward with Him into ever-increasing freedom, joy and usefulness.  During those years in Germany, the Lord has faithfully continued this upward trend of my life, bringing me into ever  new and more radiant levels of relationship with Him.

This ongoing growth flows, like all the other changes God has wrought in me, out of meditation. It is powerful to get the Word into my mind through memorizing, then to water it by praying it, and to turn on the light of deeper understanding by personalizing it. The insights that come, the understanding, the transformation of thought, feeling and desire are marvelous.

One great area of growth has been in understanding more of the love of God. Every day in putting on the armor of God, when I come to the belt of truth, I think first about what I actually deserve as a result of my sin in all its darkness: punishment, failure, suffering, death and eternal separation from God in Hell.

Then I add to this dark backdrop, the diamond of Truth, which says that in spite of what I deserve, the eternal holy God  chose me (and all others willing to believe) before the foundation of the world. He called me to Himself. He cleansed me, first forgiving, then washing away my sins and transforming me into a new creature. He claimed me as His son. He commissioned me to special service. He cherished me as if I were His only child.

Then I turn the spotlight of His grace to shine on this diamond of Truth, bringing out further sparkeling aspects of His love: I now stand before Him dearly loved, deeply cared for, doted on and delighted in.  I bask in the reality of His grace, letting myself feel the wonder of total acceptance, the security of utter approval, the joy of unending love.

As I stand in this beam of grace, reveling without a pause in the light of such unconditional, rich, never-ending love, I am transformed a bit more each day.

There is a solidification of my sense of security. There is a severing of my sinful fear of others’ thoughts and values. There is a shift in my thoughts and feelings towards myself: an acceptance of self based on Christ’s acceptance of me; a lowering of self criticalness along with a rise in my desire to please Him. I experience a rest from the disturbing desire to “measure up” to others standards by being right. There is growth in the peace and joy that comes from knowing God, as opposed to performing well.

All this frees me to love others around me more, to forgive more easily, to quickly overlook offenses, to be gracious, patient and positive.

It allows me to be a carrier of “Sonshine” to others; to have believing faith for them when theirs isn’t enough, to encourage others in thankfulness, to look at the positives in their lives, rather than being distracted by the negatives.

It makes me more realistic, less idealistic. It brings a delight in being weak, confidence in God’s doing what is best, peace in the midst of uncertainty, and joy, even when I don’t get what I want.

It stimulates the flow of creativity and the ability to see what is good in hardship. It gives acuity to see and claim truth when I am accused with vague, negative generalizations.

Psalm 22:4 “In you our fathers put their trust;”

[Throughout the history of Israel Abraham and Moses, Job and Joseph, David and Daniel, and many others trusted you in the midst of their trials, challenges and suffering.]

“they trusted and you delivered them.”

[They turned to you and were saved in and through their difficulties. This verse describes what you desire: a partnership with your children. You prepare things, then call us to trust, and when we do, you act. Without our joining you in trust, we hamper your giving us answers. As it says in Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, AS YOU TRUST in him so that your lives may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Without that trust, joy and peace and hope won’t flow.]

Psalm 22:5 “They cried to you and were saved;”

[Trust is demonstrated by crying out to you first, not seeking answers elsewhere. If we trust in ourselves, or others, or circumstances, or luck, or culture (as Abraham did in producing a son by his own cleverness instead of waiting for God’s timing), God sits back and waits, allowing us to suffer the consequences of our poor decisions so that we might come to ourselves and turn to Him in trust (as Abraham did when God called him to sacrifice Isaac).]

“in you they trusted and were not disappointed.”

[You, the faithful One, always come through in the right way and at the right time, which is often very different from how and when we would like you to do it.

Psalm 22:1b “Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?’

[This is how David felt: he received no immediate answer to his prayer, had no sense of God’s presence, no visible support, no help, no guidance. For David, this was a feeling, but it was not the truth. This was also true for Jesus on the cross: when He became sin for us, You, Father, turned your back on him, you were far from Him. You did not save Him from this suffering, because you Three had a greater plan.

So it is with us, as it was with my wife Barbara in her depression, you send us through that suffering because you have a bigger, wider plan than our being comfortable, a plan which will accomplish much more and in a better way than what we desire.

You gave us the pattern for this in the life of Job, who, suffering seemingly senseless loss, but was actually playing a huge role in the cosmic battle and in bringing future comfort to millions across the millennia.

Psalm 22:2 “O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and you are silent.”

[There are times when our prayers seem to go no further than the ceiling. These times are the of testing of our faith, a call to rest in the certainty of the Lord’s goodness when there is no visible sign of it.

Jesus demonstrated this kind of faith on the cross and in His descent into death. Becoming sin for us, He was far from you, Lord, but, in the midst of His separation He also trusted you fully, following through with your plan.

Glory be to you for your great wisdom and your persistence in carrying out your perfect plans. Help us to walk in faith, embracing those times of your silence, trusting you to act when the time is right.]

Pic: Barb in Depression

[Psalm 22. Praise be to you, O Triune God, for your rich and revealing Word. Here we have another prophetic, Messianic Psalm, written 1000 years before your coming into the world, foretelling your suffering both on our behalf and for your glory.

Praise you for your wisdom in preparing the way in such a manner that your revelation in this Psalm helped both those before Christ and inspires wonder in us who came after.]

Psalm 22:1 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

[David was feeling far from you, abandoned and alone, and cried out in anguish. But this is much more a “pre-echo” of the actual abandonment by you, Heavenly Father, of the God-man Jesus as He became sin for us while hanging on the cross.

You, Father, had to turn away, breaking the relationship of the Trinity–that perfect, eternal intimacy, which was without strife, without conflict, and in perfect harmony, commitment, love and unity–and all was torn asunder. All three of you, Father, Son and Spirit, suffered great pain in this ripping of the relationship.

It was brutally broken by the burden of iniquity, as you, Lord Jesus, took upon yourself all the sins of everyone who ever lived or will live, and as you, Heavenly Father, turned away from such sin, leaving Jesus utterly alone. Your shared reason for doing this, was that we would not be left alone, that all people might have the possibility of entering a rich and intimate relationship with the Trinity.

In offering your enemies such a never-ending connection with you, Lord God, the possibility of abandonment of us from your side became impossible, while the possibility of rest, stability and safety became rock-solidly certain for those who believe–for you are faithful to the end.

[You, Lord, will triumph, overcome all evil and win, destroying all that is against truth, against goodness against you. “There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord” (Prov. 21:30). “The Lord foils the plans of the nations and thwarts the purposes of the people, but the plans of the Lord stand firm forever and the purposes of his heart through all generations” (Ps 33:10-11).]

Psalm 21:13 “Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength;”

[You are strong, you are powerful, you are undefeatable, you will win over all your enemies. For this you deserve to be lifted up on high, exalted, honored and praised. We can be confident in your victories, past, present and future; we can rest in them and rejoice.]

“we will sing and praise your might.”

[We respond to these great truths with worship of you for your mighty, majestic, multifaceted power. That will overcome all evil, sweeping it all into the lake of fire and sealing it forever. Then you will create the new Heaven and Earth, which will be the perfect paradise you intended, with no sin, no rebellion nor any evil to mar it.

Your righteous wrath will right the wrongs that ravished creation. You will bring goodness and grace to every atom, every flower, every galaxy, every part of creation. We praise you that you have included us, your children in this plan. Help us to consistently live in this majestic hope. To you be glory forever and ever. Amen!]